I apologize for all OOC-ness, because there's going to be a lot of it.

Edward Elric, from the time he was eleven, had always had an infatuation with Roy Mustang. Once he had put his childish stubbornness away when he got older, he realized how the Colonel got so many women to be with him for only one night and not mind one bit. Who could resist the black shaggy hair, the onyx-blue eyes, the broad build of his chest and shoulders that were only emphasized by his military work uniform's shoulder pads. The daunting smirk that infatuated him but at the same time pissed him off.

It was infuriating, working with the single person he loved-in this way-and not being able to say his first name without a frown from the older man, not being able to hug him on his way back to Intelligence because of the lonely hours apart while he had to deal with Hughes, not being able to walk home with him nor even walk him home. Heck, he'd give almost anything to walk him home right now.

He was sure that Roy knew something was troubling him; otherwise he wouldn't be giving him such weird looks and sympathy-fueled offers that meant shit to Ed. Would you like a military coat? They're much warmer than that 20-year-old short jacket you have on... or Are you feeling sick and short of 52 cards in your deck, Fullmetal? Why don't you rest; Hughes will be happy to fill in for you until you feel better, and you know that… and even I'm not a suit of armor but I can give you a sort of piggyback ride home. I won't be home for a couple more hours because of this damned paperwork so you can borrow my cab. Don't worry-I'll pay for it. You'll just pay back with assignments. At least you know how to do that, right? Why the hell would he go on another assignment? That was the reason he joined Intelligence! He loved his work and got to sit at an air-conditioned desk all day and at least he knew someone in the office. And one thing that always ticked him off was how Mustang still called him Fullmetal. Fullmetal, work on this case file, I'm sure it's short enough for you to read it by the time I get back from lunch…and Damn it, Fullmetal! You didn't even go to Youswell and you managed to blow up three buildings in the town. Just because you're making all this money doesn't mean you get to bribe people to do the things you wish you could do! First of all, he did not blow up any buildings, bribe or otherwise. He worked in Intelligence for the Gate's sake! Colonel Moron was more like it. The damn bastard was even being considered for a promotion!

At least he got to work with him sometimes. Even though Roy and Hughes were best friends, Hughes was simply not part of the team. The team consisted of, of course, Colonel Roy Mustang, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, the boys Havoc, Breda, Falman, and Fuery (who Ed didn't give a shit about their ranks nor their first names), and himself, Major Edward Elric. Edward may have moved to a totally different part of East Headquarters but that didn't stop Colonel Shit from calling for him every second of the day, whining whilst atop his high mustang.

"Hahaha," Edward laughed bitterly to himself, thinking that no one else heard him.

"Hey, Ed, just 'cause you have a crush on Sarah at the front desk doesn't mean you can daydream all day!" Hughes' chuckle came out of nowhere and startled Ed. The blonde almost leaped out of his chair at the sudden intrusion of noise and glared at the family man.

Hughes whacked Ed on the back-who wasn't expecting it so he almost banged his head on the desk he worked at night and day-and laughed out loud, putting his fists on his hips and throwing his head back for emphasis, "Why don't you just ask her out?"

"I already told you-I'm gay you moron!" Ed hissed at his new superior officer, "I barely know who she is!"

"Well, you were staring," Hughes pointed out, then jerked his head sideways at the girl called Sarah. The brunette smiled sweetly at Ed and wiggled her fingers at him in a flirty greeting.

Ed rolled his eyes at her, earning a sneer from her when he turned his back to talk to Hughes.

"Look, I'm just concerned about my relationship with a, well, I guess you could call them a friend, and I've just been so absorbed in it," Ed explained, trying to be mature. He had been practicing this new, out of character behavior and it seemed to earn him a more favorable place in the office, especially since Hughes' own group of employees had been expecting an angry runt with fists of steel and cold, unyielding fury. Unyielding Fuery. The young blonde still had a horrible sense of humor when it came to the lighthearted spectrum of jokes, though, which bothered everyone just as much as Hughes' picture tirades.

"Is this someone I know?" Hughes raised an eyebrow and smiled, leaning in closer to Ed.

Edward backed away and raised an eyebrow as well, "Meh, I guess so." He would die before he gave away the identity of the highlight of his thoughts and dreams to Hughes. Especially Hughes.

Hughes leaned back and laughed again. Thankfully, the laugh was shorter this time and Ed could hear a whoosh of air in the room, which was probably everyone's relieved sigh but could be easily mistaken as a common, second-long mishap with the air conditioner.

"Look Ed, you can come talk to me anytime you want, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ed looked away so that he wouldn't blush. Hughes moved around Ed's personal space to look the 17-year-old in the eye, but shrugged when Ed wouldn't even glance at him and walked away. Hughes raised a hand and waved over his shoulder, "Talk! Anytime! M'kay, glad we had this little, erm…whatever it is."

"Sure whatever," Ed sighed and rolled his eyes. He sat back down and picked up a case file buried between a bunch of others he had saved. The other reason that he had a good social ranking in the office is because he went through case files like Breda could down hot tamales. Edward also tended to save the ones that stuck out like a sore thumb to him-ones that disgusted him, cases he simply liked to go back and look over, or mysteries that he was proud of solving. But he also saved most of the ones from Colonel Mustang, though he did it discreetly as hell to avoid suspicion from a certain spectacled Lieutenant Colonel. For one, it smelled like Roy. He couldn't quite place the smell but he sure as hell recognized it. Second of all, well…there was his crush/love for the older man. He felt like there should have been a thousand reasons he could name with ease but he could only come up with two. Screw his hormones.

:~H.n.R.~:

"Ahhhhh~-AHHHHH~!" Edward stretched and stood up out of his swivel chair that was oh-so similar to Colonel Mustang's but oh-so not as comfortable. Still comfortable as shit though. Good kind of shit.

"Man, I've been waiting for the end of the day~" Ed purred through tight lips, raised his interlocked hands above his head in a bone-popping, muscle rolling stretch that felt really good after sitting at his desk all day. He also felt really good because Hughes hadn't flashed photos to him all day. The victim was some Second Lieutenant across the room in the morning, her face contorted with multiple negative emotions as polaroid after polaroid was shoved into all aspects of her vision.

"So we could spend time together?" a small voice continued his sentence, and Ed whipped around, lucky that the woman was way shorter than him. Otherwise he would have punched the daylights out of her with his right elbow. His right flesh elbow. Edward beamed with pride at the thought, which made Sarah think that he was smiling at her. She returned the smile.

"So where would you like to go?"

"Huh?" Ed frowned and looked down at her.

"Where would you like to go?" Sarah purred, thinking that Ed was saying that because he wanted to skip the restaurant and go straight home with her.

"Uh, home?" Ed raised an eyebrow, "Why are you asking?"

"Well don't I have to know where I'm going?" Sarah pouted.

"You're going home, I'm going home," Ed put his arms down a bit to rest lazily on the top of his head and he shrugged a bit, "I would assume you knew your way home."

"I don't know where your home is, silly~" Sarah pouted playfully, then smile seductively, "Or were you hoping out loud that I did?"

"Why would I…wait a minute, what?" Ed frowned even more, "You're going to your home, I'm going to my home, Sarah. What would make you think we're going to the same house?"

"I thought we were spending time together. You said that you couldn't wait for the end of the day just now," Sarah frowned as well.

"Yeah, because I want to go home and rest my tired bones. I mean, come on, I'm not used to sitting in a soft chair all day, I'm used to going out all day and either sitting in a hard, wooden chair or going out in the field and doing grueling, bloody missions."

"Oh," Sarah bit her lip in anticipation, "So maybe another time?"

"No," Ed rolled his eyes again, "I don't have any feelings for anyone, and that includes you, Sarah."

Sarah pursed her lips, looking like she was about to cry, and stalked away, stomping on the floor. Ed almost wished that the floor was carpet so that he couldn't hear her boots attacking the floor.

After her footstomps faded away, Ed sighed and picked up his laptop bag, which reminded him of Kain Fuery. He-Kain, of course-had the idea because of his annoyance with having to carry a briefcase everywhere, and called it a laptop bag because you could rest the bag on your lap, pull out whatever papers you needed, and rest the papers on top of the bag and use the bag as an easy desk wherever a real one wasn't available. The one Edward had was the second one that had ever been produced-Kain, of course, had the first one. Most soldiers preferred briefcases, since they were usually above 25 years of age, but Ed, being a teenager, secretly and in the back of his mind saw it as cool and happily took the summer holiday present from Kain. He used it every day and now his old brown suitcase he used for missions felt a little weird to carry around now, but he kept it for the sake of memories. Speaking of memories, he should probably stay awake for at least a little while if Alphonse called him from work. On the rare chance that Al actually went to his work building instead of staying at home. He had an admirable profession by Ed's standards, since Al was really never one for alchemy-he loved the science but could never, ever have an obsession for it like Edward did. Because of this, Al had been searching for something else to do with his life and Ed was worried he would pick something with low pay or a horrible boss or even worse, something he'd have to suffer through, like a contract, or have to go through multiple jobs to find the one he wanted. But Alphonse is an Elric-nyarharhar-and figured out soon what he wanted to do with his next 70+ years.

As Edward left the building, a hair landed under his nose and he almost sneezed on it, which would blow it away. But luckily, he saw the hair a millisecond before it landed. It was a black hair, and Ed pulled the lock from under his nose before the gust of air and germs blasting out of his nose could send it flying where he'd never find it again (unless he made a fool of himself looking for it). Which would only make Hughes think he was going crazy instead of the excuse he made earlier.

Ed studied the black lock of hair and, once he wiped his nose, dared to sniff it. Once he got a whiff he was all over it, staring at it with wide eyes and holding it as close as he could-or dared to-to his eyes.

"HEY CHIEF!" someone whacked him in the back-judging by the meaty, good-sized hand it was a man, either Havoc or Breda-and the hair went in his eye.

"Agh! AGH! The HAIR!" Ed sputtered.

"What?" the man went around the boy to face him and through the tears and the blinking Edward recognized Havoc.

"The hair! The hair went in my eye!" Edward coughed for no reason-probably just for the attention, actually.

"The hair?" Havoc chuckled, holding one side of Edward Elric's forehead with his hand. The steadiness provided by it calmed the teen down enough to skillfully take the long hair out of his vision. The pain subsided after some patience (and vigorous rubbing motions to the source of pain).

Havoc studied the hair from where he was with his hands in his pockets and raised an eyebrow at it, "So…I believe that isn't your hair. Unless you have something to confess?"

"What the fuck Havoc," Ed rubbed his eyes again, the after-effects of a snarl framing his mouth.

"Yup, you're Edward, at least," Havoc shrugged.

"…" Edward glared at Havoc through his hands, "What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Talking. About?"

Havoc shrugged again and looked up at Ed from the lower step he was situated on, "The Colonel didn't call for you all day."

"No shit."

"Well, Chief, is something up between you two? You guys can't get a room anymore?" Havoc smiled, anticipating Ed's reaction.

"THE HELL? What the HELL? Havoc, what would make you assume that I even would think about sharing an APARTMENT BUILDING with that bastaaarrrrrrrrrrrd!" Edward screamed. The military officers around them made a wide arc around the two, not wanting to be subject to any flying fists-or bodies-if the ex-state alchemist went on a rampage.

Havoc shrugged again.

"STOP SHRUGGING FOR THE GATE'S SAKE!"

Havoc smiled and shrugged, "Sorry Chief, it's a habit I have."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, since you were fucking ten years old," Edward rolled his eyes for the tenth time that day, "I don't really care."

"I know you don't, Chief," Havoc grinned even wider and reached around in his left pocket, only to find no cigarettes, "Agh, I can't even believe I agreed to quit smoking."

"Smoking's bad for your lungs," Edward shuddered in disgust, "I've seen lungs after just five years of smoking. Two words: not, pretty."

Havoc chuckled, "I believe you, Chief."

"Why do you call me Chief anyway?"

"I d'know," Havoc went to shrug but stopped himself, seeing that Edward could snap at any moment, "So what about the hair?"

"The hair?" Ed looked down at his hand, "Oh, this!" The blonde teen held it up for Havoc to see, "I almost sneezed on it!"

"Mm, so?"

"So…it's…" Edward mentally cursed himself. Havoc didn't know about his crush yet! Even if he told him he was crushing on a person he hadn't met before, he'd just say it was the Colonel and that he was right about him screwing around with the other. And then he'd start asking him the more intimate, private questions.

"It's…for testing."

"Testing?"

"Yeah…testing!" Edward held it up to the dimming light of the soon-to-come sunset, "I wanted to try looking at a piece of hair under a microscope, a total, um, random piece of hair, and now I don't even have to ask anyone for it! Lucky~"

Havoc stared at him skeptically, then sighed and continued down the steps, "Good luck with that, Chief."

"Ah, erm, thank you?" Ed bit his lip, waiting for Havoc to get a distance away from him, then looked at the hair again. Oh Roy Mustang, if only you knew

That thought gave Ed an idea; the second stupidest idea he had ever come up with.

:~H.n.R.~:

"I'll see you tomorrow, First Lieutenant," Roy called from the middle of his secluded office.

"The thought is returned, sir," Riza saluted and left the outside office.

Roy sighed and leaned back against his desk. It hadn't been as long as a day as he had ever experienced, but it was boring as hell. Nothing that even peaked his rage, which was also hell, but rare as hell, not boring as…who was he kidding? He was so bored he couldn't even think witty thoughts. Man, when Fullmetal was in the office, he was always on his toes. He never needed brain training-he had a blonde runt for that. Roy could've swore that he swore once or twice that he could make a joke book with all the comments directed at the boy. No, the kid was almost a grown man, even by the government's standards. 18 was the age where a boy became a legal man, where a lady became a legal woman, right? Well, right now, he couldn't care less. He just wanted to go on an overly stimulating date so he could get back on his witty train of thought.

Sifting through the names in his head-he knew for a fact that he only remembered the names of the women he actually had an interest in-he found that he kept coming back to a petite young blonde woman from Intelligence. This reminded him of Hughes. Oh God. This made him realize that he wasn't just bored and remember that he had been quenching the puke he had been holding in all day. What made him puke again? Oh yeah, Hughes' leftover breakfast he gave him three months ago that he decided to finally finish off. Hughes. Maes Hughes. Oh God.

The Colonel ran to the bathroom and coughed, rushing to the sink. He hated puking! He quickly splashed multiple handfuls of tap water into his mouth, not caring if it tasted bad. He stood for a while with his dizzy head hanging back limply until the sick feeling in his stomach traveled to his intestines. Lucky bastard, Roy chuckled inwardly at himself and rushed into a bathroom.

:~H.n.R.~:

"Ah, I feel so much better~" Roy sing-songed as he left East Headquarters. Putting his hands in his pockets, he was glad he got the weekend off. That meant he could leave all his stuff at HQ. Which meant no annoying briefcase.

As he strolled past the park on the way to his house, he stopped when something caught his eye. Dark gold hair. Edward? It had to be. He turned around 90 degrees and stared into the park, wondering why Edward would come here of all places. Was the depressed kid here to cheer himself up? About time. Roy looked forward to seeing the kid-no, teenager-after not having to call him all day. It was so boring, we did nothing and even Riza didn't shoot at us for it because she knew that there was nothing to do. It was like the papers were purposely being sent to other offices. What d-Roy stopped his train of thought in fear of speaking it out loud and not having the advantage of surprise on Ed. The young man was sitting on a wooden park bench, hands flat against the seat of the bench and between his legs. Roy saw that he was sitting on his hands. Why? Was he hiding something he was holding? This only made Roy even more curious as to what was going on in his head.

"Hey, Fullmetal," Roy said, trying to put his smirk into his voice. The ex-state alchemist slowly looked up in front of him, then slid around to look at Roy.

"Hey," he whispered, propping his hand up on the back of the bench, his fist closed, "I've actually been wondering when the next time I'd see you was."

"Guess you don't have to anymore," Roy smirked.

Ed simply stared at him, no emotion showing too prominently on his face.

Roy's smirk faltered for a second, then shone just as brightly, "So what is wrong with you, anyway? You've been so depressed after Al got his body back. Shouldn't you be happy? …Happier?"

The side of Edward's mouth twitched and he slid back around to how he was sitting before, but now his hands were in plain view.

"What have you got in your hand there, Fullmetal? Can't be 'equipment', can it? Aren't you too young for that?"

"Shut up," Edward snarled.

"Geez, calm your shit," Roy smirked again and sat down next to the young man, "But seriously."

"Nothing's wrong; just lovesick," Ed sighed.

If the kid…is confessing this to me, then he must really be in a shameless state right now, Roy thought sympathetically, He thinks I can help. "Who is the object of your dreams exactly?"

And with that statement, Edward Elric got up and briskly left the park.

A/N: Yeah, a lot of small talk in this one. I was trying to elongate it and put something meaningful in there, but at least you guys get a standing of where Havoc and Hughes are in all this. *shrug* Oh yeah, and Alphonse's profession. I always think about Ed doing what Al's profession will be in this because I just like thinking Edward can do everything, but if Ed had Al's profession then he wouldn't have much contact with Roy and where would all the angst go?

Harry: ANGST. *bump* ANGST. *bump* ANGST. *bump*

Yes, we know, Harry POTTAH, we know.

There was a fanfiction on, well, that finally pushed me over the edge to write this. I guess. I think. It's the one I'm reading now anyway. *shrug* I read a lot of RoyEd fanfiction, so I don't really remember titles much. I'll write it down when I get back to it.

EDIT

It's called Paper in Fire by UP2L8. Stupid me wasn't thinking about checking Safari on my iPod Touch. :B