He spends his nights in the common room
Watchin' the boy with eyes so green.
And then he lies awake and he wonders
"Why can't that be me?"
"You okay,
Ron?" I ask, hoping to start a conversation.
"Yeah," he said with a sigh, "It's just…"
"It's just
what?"
"I don't
know. I try so hard; I really do. But it all seems like nothing compared to…"
he heaved another sigh.
"Do you
want to talk about it?"
"Nah. I'm okay, really."
'Cause in his life he's filled
With all these good intentions.
He's felt a lot of things
He'd rather not mention
Right now.
The party
seemed to be heightening rather than quelling as time went by. It wasn't long before Ron stood up, saying
he was headed off to bed. He paused a
moment, watching his brothers pretend to toss Harry into the fire.
"You know
what, Neville?" he asked, a sad smile crossing his face, "Sometimes I wish that
just for one day I could be Harry Potter."
Then he
walked up the stairs to the dormitory, his echoing steps almost as depressing
as his expression.
Just before he says goodnight,
He looks up with a little smile at me
And he says,
If I could be like that…
I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes.
If I could be like that
What would I do?
What would I do?
Time
passed, and I forgot about that night.
That is until one afternoon I went into the dormitory and found Harry
staring out the window.
"Hey,
Harry."
He jumped,
turning around. "Oh, hi, Neville."
"What're
you looking at?"
He
sighed. "Oh, just the Weasleys."
I looked
out the window and spotted a jumble of bodies and red hair. Apparently the Weasley family was playing
tag-team wrestling; Fred and George against Ron and Ginny.
He spends his days up in his bedroom
Watchin' the people as they pass.
And all he wants is just a little piece of those dreams.
Is that too much to ask?
"They're so
lucky, Neville," he sighed.
"How so?"
"They have
a normal wizard house and normal wizard parents…and each other. They have a family."
My heart
gave a little pang of grief. I knew
exactly how he felt…
With a safe home, and a warm bed,
On a quiet little street.
Well, all he wants is just that something to hold onto;
That's all he needs.
We sat
there a moment in silence, watching those four happy children who had what each
of us pined for.
"Sometimes," Harry said softly,
looking wistfully out the window, "I wonder what it would be like to be Ron
Weasley."
If I could be like that…
I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes.
If I could be like that,
What would I do?
What would I do?
The year
was coming near the end. I could hear
the heavy breathing of the other boys, but I couldn't get to sleep. I'd had a dream. Not so much a dream as reminiscence. My parents and I had been at the beach when I was five. It is my fondest memory.
"C'mon,
Neville!" my mother laughed as she waded in the water.
I
hesitated, watching the waves apprehensively.
My bare feet inched away from the wet sand.
"Don't
be afraid, Neville. I'm protect you,"
she smiled, holding her hands out to me.
Determined,
I rushed into the waves towards her. I
splashed my way to her and she lifted me high over her head, both of us
laughing.
"Good
job, Neville! See? There was nothing to be afraid of," she
smiled, spinning me around.
We
splashed around a bit and then joined my dad in collecting shells. I was elated at finding a conk shell and
kept it with me the rest of the day.
We
arrived back home, and I felt sad. I
had wanted to stay at the ocean forever.
My dad came up to me as I was sorrowfully studying my shell.
"I miss
the ocean."
"But you
have it right here."
"Huh?"
He held
the shell to my ear and a marveled as I heard the sound of waves once more.
"The
ocean!" I cried happily, "How'd it get in there?"
Dad
smiled, patting my back, "That's a magic greater than any we'll ever know."
I'm fallin' into distant dreams,
Where we run away…
I still
have the shell. It is a comfort,
knowing that even if something is gone forever, its remnants could always be
with me…like a memory. I remembered
what Harry had said, and I knew that I would give anything to have the family
Ron did. But Harry didn't know how
lucky he was. He hadn't known his
parents; he didn't live with the memory of what life had been like before… And he could grieve. I couldn't.
You can't grieve the living.
If I could be like that…
I would give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes.
If I could be like that,
What would I do?
What would I do?
I watched
as Harry, Ron, and Hermione went off with their families. My gram called my name, and I ran up and
gave her a hug.
"How was
your school year?" she asked as we got into her rickety car.
"Pretty
okay."
As we
started to drive away, I reached into my pocket, pulling out the shell. I gently ran my fingers over its rough,
orange surface, reaching the smooth pink area near the opening. Even though I knew features of the shell
better than my face, I never tired of holding it; looking at it; listening to
it.
"What do
you have there?" Gram asked, keeping her eyes on the road.
"Oh
nothing. Just my shell…"
I'm fallin' in.
I feel like I'm fallin' into this…
Again…