Title: The Simple Things
By: Jessica
Pairing:
Eric/Calleigh
Rating:
T
Timeline:
General season eight.
Summary: Certainly, he had done his fair share of the extravagant when it came to showing his affection for her, but Calleigh couldn't deny that it was the simple things that kept her falling farther and farther in love with him.

A/N: There's a possible series here, but that's all I will say on that right now. It all just depends.


Calleigh hated cases like this.

At the end of a grueling, emotionally draining case, one was supposed to find relief, to be happy that it was finally over. As a CSI, Calleigh was supposed to put it from her mind and go home and relax. Get some sleep and come back the next morning prepared for the possibility of something worse. That was the only way to do this job without losing her mind, and usually, it was something she excelled at – leaving work at work.

But this case was different, and Calleigh knew the conclusion wasn't one that would leave her for quite some time.

It was a case that ended with justice, but the cost was greater than the gain. The suspect did end up in custody, and he would likely go on to receive the death penalty, as Calleigh was absolutely convinced he deserved. Still, she couldn't help but feel the characteristic pang of deepest regret at realizing that he was going away for the wrong crime.

Certainly, he did deserve to go away for murder.

That, however, could've been prevented, and Calleigh bit hard at her lip, feeling she deserved more than the small, sharp pain that pierced the sensitive flesh. Mike Cooper had been brought in to CSI for unrelated reasons; reasons that would've garnered him maybe a year or two in jail. When he'd come in for interrogation, he'd tried to play the sympathy card by bringing his daughter along, six year old Lena.

Her deep cerulean eyes lacked the sweet innocence that any six year old should still have intact – from first glance, Calleigh had been unable to ignore that. With her wavy blonde locks drawn up into messy pigtails and the quiet sense of resilience that emanated from her, she was almost a miniature version of Calleigh – and that was enough to immediately send up the red flags in her mind.

The little girl had reminded Calleigh too much of a younger version of herself.

And the girl's father had given her a distinct vibe, one that reminded her so clearly of her own father from years past.

And so Calleigh had stepped in, offered to sit with Lena while Cardoza and Natalia interrogated the father. And from just half an hour alone with her, Calleigh had seen every one of the signs that she herself had spent so much time hiding as a child – Lena was hiding them well, but Calleigh had been there. She knew what was happening; she'd felt her heart break into pieces at the fear in Lena's eyes when her father came out of the interrogation room, searching for her. But in the end, Calleigh'd had little more than intuition to go on.

And intuition itself was not probable cause.

Calleigh hated probable cause.

The law had forbidden her from acting upon that intuition, and as a result, she'd found herself fighting back the tears that pricked the corners of her eyes as she and Cardoza stood in the doorway of the very home she wished she'd gone to before, waiting for the medical examiner to take the body. Calleigh had been dizzy, unable to concentrate as his voice droned on, citing cause of death – massive internal bleeding, a broken neck.

And for the most part, Calleigh had held it together until her eyes fell upon the ghostly pale, empty expression of little Lena. And right then, Calleigh knew that the sight would visit her in the form of a rare nightmare tonight, maybe tomorrow night. In the dream, however, it wouldn't be Lena.

She'd had these dreams before - it was never the victim.

No, it was always a younger Calleigh. The nightmares, when she had them, always seemed to transport her back to a time she'd long ago left behind. And the fear was just as palpable as it had been so many years ago. Eight year old Calleigh, hiding in the closet, stiffening immensely as her brother next to her gave a quiet whimper of fright as Kenwall Duquesne, on a characteristically drunken rampage, swept through the house like a hurricane, leaving damage and destruction in his wake.

Or twelve year old Calleigh, huddled on her bed with her knees drawn in tightly toward her chest, flinching at the sounds that drifted up from downstairs. Her father's yelling that just grew louder and angrier; her mother's yelling that slowly became anguished cries and desperate pleas…and then the worst sound of all – the loud echo of the front door slamming against the doorframe. No other sound struck such fear in Calleigh's heart as that one did; she knew what it meant. Her father had pushed too far, and her mother had finally had enough – she'd left, and there was no telling when she would be back. It was the same every time.

Also the same every time was the angered stomp that quickly ascended the stairs, leaving Calleigh trembling with fear. With her mother gone, she was the next best target for her father's drunken frustrations. She might be his little princess while sober, but none of that mattered when he found his way back to the bottle.

She always held her head high the next day, though; always ignored the questions and glances from teachers, from other parents. Even at eight, at twelve, at sixteen, Calleigh knew the importance of resilience. What mattered was that she'd survived. She was strong, even as a child, and because of that, she had made it out.

But now, rather than comforting her, that knowledge sometimes did little more than haunt her.

Because for every night that she'd managed to escape, there was always going to be another little girl who found a different fate. For every Calleigh Duquesne, there would always be another Lena Cooper.

The knowledge left her shuddering, though Calleigh did her best to hide it as she was joined in the locker room by one of the newest additions to the team, Jesse Cardoza. And she wasn't ready to explain to him why the unflappable Calleigh Duquesne was unable to leave this particular case behind; as far as she was concerned, that was nothing he ever really needed to know.

Luckily, he didn't seem to pick up on her discomfort. Offering a smile and an amiable greeting, he quickly crossed the room to his own locker. "Hey, Cal."

She returned his greeting, and while she was relieved for the silence that fell around them, it wasn't long before she felt his eyes on her, studying her. Calleigh frowned, not in the mood to be so intently studied, least of all not by another team member. "What?"

Cardoza shook his head. "Nothing…" he trailed off, and Calleigh quickly glanced to him, noting with dismay the flash of concern in his eyes. Apparently she hadn't shielded her distress as well as she'd hoped, and it became apparent as his voice drifted once more to her ears. "You alright?"

Calleigh simply shrugged, though inside her there waged a battle to fight off the sense of indignance that threatened to surface. With Eric, it was completely different, but she couldn't shake the feeling of needing to prove herself over and over again each time a colleague questioned her well-being. Luckily, it didn't happen often. "Of course I am," she replied steadily, avoiding his eyes. "Why wouldn't I be?"

For a moment, Cardoza hesitated as though knowing it was upon sensitive ground that he was treading. "You, uh, you seemed to take it pretty hard back there," he said cautiously, and Calleigh needed no further explanation to know to what he referred, though he offered it anyway. "At the Cooper house."

Even now, it was difficult to fight back the shudder that threatened to consume her; at the scene, though, she'd been utterly unsuccessful. She'd felt the blood rush away from her face as the sight of the little girl, bloodied and battered, filled her eyes – she'd known she looked like a ghost. She'd heard her own voice as she spoke; she'd known it sounded airy, a bit shaky, devoid of the ubiquitous Calleigh Duquesne confidence, and clearly, Cardoza had picked up on it all.

But she shook it off now, knowing at this point there was nothing that could be done – and frankly, she didn't want to linger on it. "Cases like that are always hard," she said dismissively, forcing herself to hold his eyes, even if just for a moment. Satisfied that she'd fooled him well enough, Calleigh turned her head, offering her concentration to the lock on her locker.

Cardoza nodded – apparently, Calleigh's explanation was good enough for him. "Yeah. Kids. Nothing worse than that…"

She forced a smile, grateful that Cardoza had yet to get to know her as well as the rest of the team. Horatio might've been able to sense it; Natalia and Ryan could definitely tell the difference, but Cardoza? He had no idea that the smile that graced her lips was merely a pretty façade, effectively hiding the turmoil beneath. "So," she began, exhaling deeply. "You headed out?"

"Yeah, about time, too," Cardoza replied, unbothered by the sudden change of subject. "I was thinking about catching up to Wolfe and Natalia, see if they wanted to grab a drink or something. Wanna come?"

The answer formulated so quickly in her mind that it startled even her, but Calleigh forced it back – a stern no was, after all, a bit harsh, and Cardoza was a nice guy. "I don't know," she demurred, shrugging nonchalantly. She forced a playful grin. "It's been a long day, and I've got a nice, soft bed awaiting me at home." Along with something better, she added silently, smiling immediately at the thought of Eric.

Cardoza chuckled. "That's not the Calleigh Duquesne I met ten years ago," he teased, grinning as Calleigh shot him a confused glance. "I got the impression that you could run on a couple hours of sleep and still be that bright ray of sunshine that came into the lab that day."

Calleigh chuckled softly, though couldn't help rolling her eyes. It was a similar comment to one that Speedle had often made – she knew what he was talking about. But still, there was a lot that had changed since then…a lot that had changed Calleigh. But those thoughts would only serve to darken her mood further, so she merely shook it off, forcing it away. "Well are you the same person you were ten years ago?" she retorted good-naturedly, smirking slightly as the only answer was silence. "Exactly. Besides, it was one day, and we barely had a full conversation anyway."

Cardoza tilted his head thoughtfully. "I suppose that's true," he relented, retrieving his keys from the locker and returning to his original inquiry. "Regardless, the invitation still stands, you know."

Calleigh shook her head lightly – her decision had been made quite awhile ago, and no amount of coaxing was going to change her mind. There was only one thing that she wanted tonight, and it was not team bonding. "Like I said, I think I'm just going to head home," she drawled lightly, busying herself with organizing the contents of her locker. Not that it needed it – Calleigh was a firm believer in having everything in its place. It made her often hectic schedule so much easier, and on days like today, Calleigh would take what she could get. And while moving the contents of her locker out of those designated locations left her frowning at the knowledge that she would have to reorganize it later, at least she could occupy herself with the motions for the moment. And that was better than forcing conversation with Cardoza. Or anyone, really – there was only one person she wanted to talk to, and he was nowhere close.

For now, Calleigh appended silently, forcefully to that line of thought. In only minutes she would be on the road again, on her way home to him, and the thought brought a small yet genuine smile tugging at her lips.

Cardoza closed his locker, and Calleigh couldn't help but jump lightly at the sound, so far into her own thoughts she had drifted. "You sure?" he asked once more, already moving toward the door. He paused though, looking expectantly back to her. "I'll even buy the first round," he added enticingly.

It might've worked, if Calleigh didn't have something more enticing waiting at home. She smiled fully, though it was more for the idea of going home than it was for Cardoza. "Yeah, I'm sure. I do appreciate the invitation, though."

Cardoza returned the smile, and if Calleigh had to admit that if she wasn't so far head over heels for someone else, that smile might've had butterflies fluttering in her stomach. "Well, if you change your mind, just shoot me a text and I'll let you know where we ended up…"

"Yeah…" Calleigh replied, knowing she had no intention of doing so. There was no way she was going to change her mind; not a chance, and it wasn't because she didn't want to unwind with the rest of the team. She would just rather unwind in a familiar pair of strong, warm arms instead. And it was so hard to come to work and know she didn't have that just right down the hall from her.

Of course, it was very rare that she actually sought him out like that during work, but still. It was such a deep comfort just to know that he was there, and now that he wasn't…

Calleigh sighed heavily, resting her tired body against the lockers. She would never admit it aloud, but now that Eric wasn't there, it felt as though a piece of her was missing. This career she'd created for herself – she used to love it. Couldn't wait to come to work in the mornings, couldn't wait to solve the puzzles that each and every case threw her way. She was notorious for the amount of overtime utilized over the years, but only very little of it was time that she didn't want to be there. She loved what she did.

But now, she couldn't deny that she was mostly merely going through the motions. And maybe that would change with time; after all, it was still a new idea, coming to work without Eric by her side. Maybe all she needed was time for that to sink in, but for now it was a wound to her heart that didn't seem to be healing anytime soon.

She missed the mornings when he would arrive at work before her; the mornings that she would slip into his lab with a cup of coffee and a smile that she just couldn't hold back. She missed the smile of gratitude and admiration that always graced his lips, no matter what he was toiling over. She missed the spark that tickled her skin as his fingers brushed hers against the warmth of the coffee cup; missed the glimmer in his eyes that told her in no uncertain terms that he'd initiated that small touch on purpose.

She missed the mornings that it was the other way around; the mornings that he would seek her out in the ballistics lab, bearing a muffin or two from her favorite bakery. The little things like that were always enough to leave her smiling for the rest of the day, no matter what the job threw at her.

She missed their lunch breaks – whether it was a real lunch at her favorite café on the pier, or merely a quick stop at the drive-thru on the way to a scene. Suddenly, the half-hour that never felt long enough seemed to be growing longer with each passing day, and Calleigh had found herself coming back to the lab earlier and earlier – or even not leaving at all – in the hopes of finishing her cases and reports a little earlier; in the hopes of being able to make it home just a little earlier.

This was crazy. She knew it was crazy, irrational even. But somehow, just thinking that made her miss him even more.

He was turning her into the woman she swore she'd never be - hopelessly in love, unable to function without thinking about him, daydreaming about him, feeling her heart flutter every time her phone vibrated, only to have it deflated when she realized it wasn't him calling her. And, even more than that, there were times she seriously considered walking away from this job, this job that she loved, just to spend more time with him.

All of this…Calleigh had sworn it would never be her.

She wouldn't go back to a time when it wasn't her, though.

And she knew that with absolute certainty. This kind of pure, sheer happiness was something she'd never felt before; when she was with Eric, she felt as if she could float. And that was the feeling that used to get her through those long days at work, during the short time that they still worked together and went home together. Another burst of gloom penetrated her heavy heart, and Calleigh sighed, shivering lightly against the coolness of the locker behind her.

She wished more than anything that it was Eric behind her, wrapping her arms around her middle and pulling her close, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. A simple gesture, so sweet and innocent, but one which never failed to comfort her so dearly, so unlike anything else. His ability to read her was uncanny now; he always seemed to know exactly when she needed his embrace.

Just the memories left her aching for his arms around her; after a day like today, all she wanted was to shut the rest of the world out and lose herself in him. His touch, his kisses, his quiet whispers in a mix of English and Spanish…the rest of the team might think that a drink or two and a good night's sleep were enough to erase the memories of a case gone bad, but Calleigh had found something so much better than that – something that would never leave her with a pounding headache when she awoke the next morning.

That thought driving her, Calleigh quickly retrieved her purse from her locker and closed the door, wincing slightly at the sharp metallic echo. Sighing softly, she opened the main compartment of her purse and reached in for her keys, knowing she was one step closer to making it home. Her fingers easily closed around them, their characteristic jingle filling the silence of the locker room, but it was not that sound that left Calleigh's ears perking.

It was slightly muffled, a quiet rustling from within her purse, and, curiosity piquing within her, Calleigh reached in, retrieving nothing more than a simple sheet of lined paper, one that had likely been there since that morning – the rest of the day, her purse had been safely locked away. The paper was folded over twice into a small square, small enough for her to have not noticed in her rush to get to work that morning, but too large for her to miss now.

And as she gazed down at it, the smile was already tugging at her lips. She knew with absolute certainty that she wasn't the one who had put it there. No, her own notes – grocery lists or other such reminders – always went in the side pocket for easy access, not in the main compartment.

There was only one explanation, and Calleigh felt her heart give that unmistakable flutter as she slowly unfolded the note, grinning like an elated child on Christmas morning as she recognized the slightly messy yet still neat scrawl.

It was short and simple, lacking any substantial preamble, but the content of the note easily rendered anything extra unnecessary.

I miss you so much during the days now – you're all that I can think about.

I spend the hours watching the clock, just waiting for the time that I can pack up for the day and rush home to you. I've decided that's the only thing I regret about leaving CSI – spending my days so far away from you. Even when we've spent the morning together and when I know I'll see you again at night, the fact that I can't walk down the hall and see you during the day nearly kills me.

And days like today when I'm home without you are just that much worse. It's like you're all around me without you actually being here, and it just makes me miss you even more.

You just glanced across the kitchen to me just now, asked what I was writing. Here's your answer, Cal. Now I just need you to leave for just a second so I can slip this little note into your purse…I hope it brightens your day sometime today.

I can't wait to see you tonight. I can assure you I'll be counting down the minutes – no, seconds.

I love you.

It was signed in his characteristic scrawl – his name, along with a small, quickly drawn heart, and the sight of that sent her own heart into an accelerated beat against her chest. Unable to stop herself, she read through the note a second, a third, and a fourth time, feeling the sense of longing for him grow even more, nearly taking over her entire being. She had to get out of there; she had to get home to him, and lucky for her she was a cop because she knew several speed limits would likely be broken on the way.

Slowly and reverently, Calleigh refolded the small note and tucked it into her pocket, unwilling to drop it back into her purse. It was silly and she couldn't deny that, but the closer it was to her, the better she felt. She smiled, thinking of the secretive smile that had crossed his lips that morning, just after she'd asked him what he was writing as he sipped his coffee at the table. Now she knew, and it was almost as though he'd known she would need those words today, that she would need that reminder today – just a simple reminder that he was there, that he was hers.

Certainly, he had done his fair share of the extravagant when it came to showing his affection for her, but Calleigh couldn't deny that it was the simple things that kept her falling farther and farther in love with him.

The realization left her feeling so undeniably lighter – it couldn't compare to the way having his arms around her would make her feel, but it was enough to lift her downtrodden spirits for now, enough to carry her through the short yet agonizingly long drive home to him. A smile on her lips, Calleigh quickly retrieved her phone and began tapping out a short, simple message of her own.

I love you too. See you in twenty.

And then as soon as the send button was pressed, Calleigh was already gone, her destination the only thought in her mind.