The Bananas of Wrath By Mage Without a Face Chapter 1- The First Banana

It was Harry's first day of classes in his seventh year and boy was he non-sexually excited! He donned his shirt, some pants and his robes and ran downstairs to the Great Hall. However, instead of the cheery and happy aura that the Great Hall usually had, it now was one of immense sadness and morbidity.

"Did you hear the news?" came whispers from the Hufflepuff table.

"Yeah, but who could've done it?" came whispers from the Ravenclaw table.

"The poor child. Who could've done this to him? And why? He was in our house after all, and only an evil person would want to kill a Slytherin," came more whispers form the Slytherins.

"Why is everyone whispering?" whispered Harry to Ron.

"I don't know, but it seems to be important. Look!" Ron pointed at Albus Dumbledore who stood up.

"I have an announcement to make! Students!" announced Dumbledore.

"Old people always have things to say," said Fred. He was sitting next to his brother, George, and they were both sharing a chocolate éclair.

"Didn't you graduate two years ago?" asked Hermione. Fred and George disappeared into a puff of smoke.

"Silence!" yelled Dumbledore to the Great Hall of students. They were all silent.

"Silence, I said!" roared Dumbledore to the very confused children. They were all silent. "Children, why don't you all shut up?" The children started talking again.

"Ah yes, the sweet sound of silence." said Dumbledore smiling. "Now students, may I get along with my announcement? Thank you kindly." Dumbledore looked infuriated. Minerva, if you may."

"Students! Hogwarts is no longer safe!" ranted Minerva.

"Hasn't she said that already?" asked Ron.

"We have found a dead body near the Slytherin house," said Minerva. She clapped her hands and a student who appeared to be eating at the Slytherin table levitated into the air. He was, of course, dead. "His name is Blaise Zabini. He probably died sometime last night. He has only been mentioned once in this whole book and, thought the author of this fic to himself, what better way to honor someone then to kill them!"

"But we thought that he was living," said a very confused Draco Malfoy.

"So did everyone else. We knew you would never suspect he'd be dead. Nothing ever happens to him that's exciting in this book. All we found was this banana peel next to him," said McGonagall. She held up a banana peel and all the children started screaming. She hid it from their sight and the screaming stopped. She then held it up into the air and the children started rioting again. McGonagall chuckled to herself.

The day went by without much thought from either of the characters. They were still mourning for the most under-spoken Slytherin had perished to the hands of evil. When Harry got to the Great Hall again for lunch, he found a startling note by his food.

Harry,

Meet me in the Astronomy Tower. I have something cliché to tell you, so we must go to a cliché place.

Signed, Cho Chang.

"Forget lunch, Harry just might get some. Wish me luck, Ron!" said Harry.

"Good luck, crazy girl!" said Ron in a weird Russian accent.

That night, at the Astronomy Tower, Harry came (not what you're thinking) to a startling discovery. Cho was there, with a very seductive look on her face.

"You like, Harry?" asked Cho, twirling around so Harry could see her. "I would've worn by birthday suit but I can't seem to get the wrinkles out of it."

"Did not need to hear that," thought Harry to himself.

"Did you think something?" asked Cho.

"Wha?" asked Harry.

"Did you think something? I could've sworn I heard you think something!"

"I didn't think."

"That's it, you don't think! That's why that there's 'Pumpkin Pie'!" yelled Cho.

"Pumpkin pie?" asked Harry.

"Never mind. Oh Harry, I love you!" said Cho.

"I love you too!" said Harry, throwing his arms around Cho.

"Wait!" said Cho, pulling Harry's arms off of her.

"What is it, my Cho-Cho Train of Love?" asked Harry.

"I want this to be a flying hug! Let's back up." Said Cho. Harry and Cho backed up and that annoying music that plays whenever flying hugs happens came on. Harry and Cho slowly ran to each other until something "horrible" happened. Cho slipped, fell and died.

"Cho, Cho-Cho Train?" asked Harry. "Cho! No!" yelled Harry, throwing his arms into the air. "What has done this deed?" Harry looked over to the spot where Cho will forever lie still till someone moves her. Lying there, parallel to her body, was a single banana peel. "Nooooooooooooooo!" Harry yelled dramatically. "I must tell Professor McGonagall," said Harry. He got up and left Cho lying there.

REVIEW DAMN YOU!