A Millennium Road Trip.
Ones-hot. OOCNESS!
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, or Millennium. Sigh.. It all belongs to crazy Kouta Hirano. WE LOVE YOU!
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Summary: Okay, Captain, Doc, Major and Schrödinger, are in a minivan in the middle of nowhere in America (for vacation, because I said so.)
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Pretty Pointless story, but still good.----
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-In the minivan.-
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VROOOOM! A tan/beige minivan sped down a deserted freeway, obviously going over the 50 mph speed limit. The driver (captain), drove in silence as Major urged him to go faster. Captain nodded and pressed on the gas pedal all the way down and reached 100 mph, making the van lurch forward, causing Major to be thrown back into his seat, Schro and Doc to be thrown into the backseat window with a smack.
"Mien Gott, MAJOR!" Doc shouted after situating himself to his seat in the middle of the Van. Major turned smiling, in the passengers seat. "Vat is it Dok?" Doc frowned. "Vat do you mean, 'Vat is it'! You know vat is wrong!"
Major blinked confusedly and pushed up his glasses. "No, I do not know vat is wrong."
Doc glared. "Never mind, Major." The crazy Nazi turned to his left, seeing that Schrö hadn't returned to his seat. "Hm..? Schrödinger? Where is he?" Doc turned and looked at the back window, with Schrö slammed into the window from the Van's high speeds.
"Schrödinger, vat are you doing? Get off the window!"
A non-understandable, but audible mumble came from the smashed Schrö, "Migh fhant fit moff fa mindow mime shmuck!" (I can't get off the window, I'm stuck!)
"Vat?"
"Mime shmuck!"( I'm Stuck!)
"Vat? I can't understand you, are you stuck or something?"
"MRRRR!" (grrrr!)
Schrödinger tried to push himself off, but he stayed stuck like a Garfield window ornament. Doc laughed at his misfortune then tapped Major on the shoulder. "Hey, mien Furhur, look at Schrö. And for the love of the Soup Nazi: SLOW DOWN THE CAR!"
Major glared at Doc. "Don't call me 'That' Doc!" He obviously hadn't heard the rest of what Doc had said. Doc sighed a 'sorry'. Major clapped, smiled, and patted Captain's shoulder, who drove at high speeds, in Silence.
"Captain, can this Van go any faster? If it can then go, go, go!"
Captain shook his head. Major frowned. "Fine then. Slow down, then speed up again."
Captain nodded and lifted his boot of the gas pedal until they were coasting a nice speed of 30 mph.
PLOP. Since they slowed down, Schrö was able to free himself from the winder, but was now in a pile on the car floor.
"Thank goodness we slowed down, I thought I'd be stuck there forever!" Schrö crawled back to his seat next to Doc, who began to laugh hysterically, pointing at Schrö's face. It was red from being stuck to the window.
"Ahahahahahaha! Schrö you look so funneh! But!" Doc stopped his laughter and pulled out his scalpel, making an enraged Schrö cower in fear. "You should've stayed stuck to the window, so I could pry your face from it."
Schrö shrieked and ducked as Doc swiped at him with the scalpel. Doc was giggling. Yes. Giggling. Major turned around to see what was going on. "Doc!"
"Yes?"
"Don't do that!"
Doc stopped jabbing at a terrified Schrö, who was now sitting on Major's lap.
"Why?"
"Because you almost stabbed me, and we don't need blood all over this Van. It's a rental!"
Doc gasped in sheer awe and horror and quickly put the scalpel away. "Wow… a Rental…"
"Yes."
"Awesome."
"Yes. I know." Major turned back facing the front, looking at Schrö. "What are you doing here Schrö?"
Schrödinger was curled up in a cat-like fashion on Major's lap. The cat-boy looked up at Major. "Uhh.. sitting on your lap?"
"Go back to your seat, please." Major shoved Schrö away to his seat, then turned to Captain with a glance at the Speedometer.
"Captain! Full speed ahead! FLOOR IT!"
Captain nodded and floored it as told.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!"
SPLAT SPLAT. Doc and Schrö hit the window.
And so the silly Nazi's went on their crazy road trip to Nowhere.
THE END.
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