notes: Written for various friends of mine here on Fanfiction, and to show my deep obsession with TV Tropes. I will dedicate each chapter to a friend of mine, and I hope to be able to update regularly. This story is pretty much here to help me with my writer's block.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these tropes, nor do I own The 39 Clues.


Let Me Tell You a Story

(You won't regret it.)

Hey, you.

Yes, I'm looking at you- do you see my finger pointing in your direction?

Come over here, I want to tell you a story. (And, no, it's not a boring story- stop rolling your eyes at me!)

I know you must be thinking, 'why me?' You must be wondering what you did to deserve hearing what's most certainly going to be a wonderful story- and out of my mouth even!

Well, the answer is simple: You didn't do a thing. You were just the first person I saw walking past. I'm surprised you even decided to acknowledge my presence. (I look like a criminal after all. What is wrong with you?)

You must be an idiot. Or insane. Or an insane idiot.

If you are even one of those things, (or, maybe even all three!) I suggest that you sit down and stick around for the story I'm about to tell. It'll surely be worth your time, I promise. And, if it turns out to be the worst story ever told, then you are allowed to slap me and turn me into the police. You can even send me to an asylum if I manage to make your ears bleed. (Which is very possible, by the way, considering I'm me.)

Please, don't look so alarmed. I'm just giving you a fair warning is all. If you decide to turn around and run, I certainly wouldn't blame you. If I was right in the head I would too.

No? You'll stick around for a while?

Well, that's refreshing. (You really are an insane idiot, aren't you?)

Judging by the look on your face, you must have had a bad day. Maybe the love of your life had just dumped you and thrown your heart into a blender. (Or did they cut it out with scissors? If it's the latter, I am sincerely sorry. That must have been painful- I bet they were running with them too.) Maybe you had just gotten kicked out of your house, or pushed off of a plane. Really, the possibilities are endless. There are various reasons you could have had a bad day, but I won't ask for them. (Oh, stop crying. You're a man, so act like one- oh, wait, no, you're a woman, aren't you? Honestly, I can never tell these days. You'll just be a 'person' for now, then, until I can figure it out.)

Either way, you've managed to stumble upon me and my little old story, so your day has certainly turned around, right?

...Don't look at me like that. I'm not the one who set your hair on fire.

Oh. That's not the reason your day was horrible?

Then never mind. (And your hair looks fabulous, by the way.)

This story I'm about to tell you isn't even really my story. It's about a number of people, but they're not available to tell it themselves, so they've asked me to do so for them. (Don't look so horrified- I didn't do anything to them.)

(And, yes, they are insane... Well, were anyway.)

This story? It's about five people, who all met because of that old theatre downtown. You've seen it, right? It's the one that burned down a few months ago. (No, they weren't caught up in that. So if you decide to go visit that sight, don't worry about stepping on any of the ashes- those are not their remains.)

Before you ask, this story is all true. No matter how outrageous or strange it seems to get, just know that all of these events actually happened, and all of these people involved are real.

...My, the room just got colder, didn't it?

This story is about...

A depressed storyteller who was always meant to die

A passionate historian who loved too much and was loved too little

A jazz musician who was born in the wrong time period

A college student with no purpose in life

A theatre geek with the most cliche life possible

And a theatre that probably should have been burned down ages ago

Let's start the story now, shall we?

(Oh, by the way, out of these five people, only one lived, and not in the way you'd usually expect.)

But, well...

I've never been fond of happy endings.