I do not own D. Gray man!

Prologue: A reason

First it was solitude.

Loneliness.

Isolation.

In darkness.

That was what he felt lying there scrunched up on that cold winter evening. It was the feeling that he didn't have anything else to live for. It was the feeling that he didn't have anything to care for. It was like the living dead. He sat there for hours and hours, staring blankly into space, allowing the cold to nip at his limbs over and over again. Its dull pain was eased at every strike, but it made no difference to him. He just sat there.

Then, finally he looked up to see all the bodies around him.

Blood.

Bodies.

Weapons.

Lying all over the ground and he was in the midst of it, the only survivor of the three hundred people who were attacked, tortured and murdered. The only one who was breathing the wretched cold air into his lungs. Why was he alive, to see only more pain and suffering? Unintentionally, he dropped his sword. He was too cold to even notice, but it was probably the etched words on his crafted weapon that made him glance again.

"Excito ut servo"

What did that mean? It did at some point have a meaning. Literally it meant strike to save, something that he managed to fail at. He let all these people die; maybe he even helped them to meet their death. And a horrible death they did die. He could see all the images flowing into his mind again. There was one person that remained particularly sharp in his mind. It was a girl, perhaps of the age of six or seven. Brown hair and green eyes, the most handsome green eyes he had ever seen. At first she smiled, the flash of white on her teeth attracted his attention. She didn't know anything, the stupid kid who reached out to him. And that's when the sword flew into her side, over and over again. He made no face as he watched the warm blood flow out of her little body onto the icy snow-covered ground. It was truly a beautiful sight to see red and white, entwined together.

More people rushed out, to see the little girl fall in the snow. Her eyes were still open, staring at her killer until her life eased out of her. Her eyes were shocked and afraid, but then again, most humans' eyes were when they were on the verge of death. Her mouth was slightly open as if to say something to him. And he knew what that something was.

It was "I forgive you."

He didn't know why, but he knew it was right. Scowling he got up from the thawed ground he rested on for hours. His limbs groaned that they had to be of use now. Picking up his bloody sword he dragged himself onwards. Not sure why he even wanted to leave. He didn't want to live on anymore. He just wanted it to end. Why didn't one of the villagers attack him? Why couldn't they just stab an axe or a sickle into his cursed back?

The answer was simple.

It was because they were all too weak.

He knew it and they all had known it.

And for some reason, he didn't want to die by some weak mortal. He wanted someone of equal ability to strike him down. That was probably the only desire he had left. That's what kept him alive in the battlefield. It was his invisible shield that no one could penetrate at the moment.

"Who are you?" A hoarse voiced called out to him. He didn't even notice a person approaching. Was it finally here? A thing that could kill him and his curse? He didn't search for the source of the sound nor did he answer. He just froze as if the snow itself had entangled him with its icy power.

"Who are you?" The voice replied again, more persistent. The crunching snow behind him meant that the person was traveling by horse. He opened his chapped lips to answer.

"I am known as Kanda Yu." He replied and then turned around. The rage inside him began to burn again. Like when he attacked that little girl. It was like a fire that danced inside him. It was his ecstasy. His grip on the sword tightened. "Do you want to fight?" He asked, as the fire inside of him wanted more blood.

"No." The stranger replied. "I am here to help you." Kanda wanted to laugh at the person in front of him. A scrawny looking boy around the age of fourteen, just like himself. White hair, which matched the snow around him.

"My name is Allen Walker." The stranger said. "And I know about your curse." He added, which made Kanda a bit perplexed. No one ever understood him not even his curse. The fire inside him died down as his curiosity increased. Who was this person in front of him and how much did he know?

"How do you know?" Kanda asked dryly, lowering his weapon. The stranger in front of him smiled, a gentle and sad smile. It automatically reminded Kanda of his own. Allen's eyes locked into Kanda's.

"Why?" He repeated as if it was obvious. "Because I am just like you."

Well that's the end of chapter. It will likely be happier later on. Sorry the depressing beginning! But please leave a review. It inspires writers like me, especially for this type of story. Please also note, it will not be a yaoi and it is in an alternate universe (AU) well, that's kind of obvious too. If you like D. Gray man, perhaps you could read a chapter of my comedy, Kanda's Journal. I promise it will not be as depressing :D.

Thanks again.

~Itachianimefan.