Still Waters, Hidden Current
Written on December 28, 2000. Revised on 4/29/2003
Originally Posted under a different Alias
The man sighed and settled himself onto the tattered red carpet, feeling the cold stone through the ragged cloth. His heart felt heavy; every breath he took a challenge to his very soul. And yet here he sat to perhaps give up any chance of ever relieving his burden of pain.
"I…I…I've failed thee, mine friend. Failed to save thee, failed to give thee peace. I've betrayed everything thou hast taught me. Honor…loyalty…chivalry…worthy am I not be carry thine title." He wiped his eyes and continued on.
"After you took thy leave of this world…I had not an idea as to what I should do. I felt so empty…so alone. You were mine brother…if not by birth, by friendship. And I failed thee yet."
The figure bowed his head to the floor, placing his forehead on the cold stone and rotting carpet.
"Remember the time our paths first crossed? Thou saved me from mine death at the hands of a mere imp, and told me "Lowering thine guard is allowing thine enemy in."? I was made your lordship's squire and apprentice. I did my best…and yet I hath failed thee for you lie here in disquiet while thine killer still walks the mortal coil."
He raised his head and brushed green hair from his eyes, pulling his cloak tighter around him.
"I…I lowered mine guard. I couldn't bring myself to kill the scum…even after Lavos had seen his end. I couldn't…for he isn't the same as he once was…the Magus we knew, the impudent, hate filled man tis no more. He…hath changed. I'm proof enough…behold. Mine form is no longer that of a lesser creature. I am a full man!"
A cold feeling was gnawing at his stomach. How could he explain what had happened? How could he justify abandoning a vow he made so long ago? He shivered slightly and let the tears run down his face to soak the thread bear rug below him.
He turned his head away from the gravestone. "I don't deserve to be a man, dammit! Not till thy killer lies cold and dead, and thine soul can truly rest. I can't avenge you, yet I've been rewarded as if I had…forgive me…my friend. Forgive me."
The youth sighed, wiping tears from his eyes with his leather gloved hand. "Perhaps one day I'll be worthy of wearing thine sword again. But until then, my friend…be well."
Glenn turned and left, his steps echoing down the dark, frigid corridors. He would be wanted back at the castle in short order, he knew. Wanted to guard the kingdom. He wouldn't shy away from that, but he knew he would never be back to this place. The Masamune would remain forever beside its owner.
As he walked up the last flight of stairs towards the warmth and sun of the day, he wiped his face one last time. It would never do for him to show weakness. Not at all. Not ever.
Author's Notes
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This fic was written in about 25 minutes, with revision tacking on another ten or so. Not much to say; I still don't know where it came from. I guess I just wanted to flesh out my views on Glenn, and found it difficult that he just accepted working side by side with Magus. I think this is just as credible a reason as any. I figure Magus would've been willing to change him back to human again if he ever found Schala, anyway. Hope you enjoyed it. C&C appreciated. Thanks,
Guardsman of Time
