The doctor came and went, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda came and went but Bigg, he came and he stayed. He'd been devastated when he'd first heard the news. His baby, his fiancée in pain. Carrie new too well that had she lost the baby, Bigg would have been in pieces. But would she have?
"I've called the column, they send both congratulations and get well soon messages." Carrie gave out a weak smile. He'd told them she was pregnant. She would loose her single-woman column; every shed of normal life was falling in front of her.
"That's nice. Bigg. ." He cut her off with a kiss. A romantic yet wrong-timed gesture.
"Don't say anything Carrie, I'm suddenly afraid of what you might say, should I be?" He looked at her, her Mr Bigg. Her heart melted. She had never loved someone to the extent in which she couldn't make decisions for the good of herself, and an example of that was now.
"No Bigg," she reluctantly stated. "You should never fear me, I love you." And she did, no lie. Bigg kissed her again and propped the pillows up behind her. He knew Carrie wasn't comfortable in hospital, but it was precautionary, just until the all-clear came. Carrie felt sick, not pregnancy sick but sick-sick. "Bigg, I do love you, but. ." he did it again, cut her of with a kiss. "No Bigg." Carrie pushed him away. She had to take control again because she feared if she didn't take control now then she'd loose her independence forever.
"Don't say it Carrie please, I beg of you." A grown man begging at his fiancé's bedside; what a heart-wrenching sight.
"Bigg I can't lie to myself, I can't lie to you. I can't have this baby Bigg." There it was, out in the open. She'd spend far too long pondering over the right thing to do, and finally she'd confirmed her thoughts. "I can marry you though, I want to and one day, some day soon, I honestly do want to have children with you Bigg but, now isn't the right time." She could see tears welling in Bigg's eyes. She felt awful, but like the weight on her shoulders had suddenly lifted.
"I. .I need to think." She attempted to pull him back but he wiped his eyes and walked out, leaving her alone. She wondered whether this was it, for her and Bigg. .the end of the fantasy. She hoped it wasn't, but she wasn't sure. If what she had done was so truly monstrous then Mr Bigg would not be coming back. If he loved her enough to wait, then he'd be back any second. She couldn't wait to find out which outcome she'd get . . .
