I flipped the lights on in the garage, the colored Christmas lights that I thought looked cool. Manny looked around, taking it in. God, that fight with Ash, that sucked. I didn't tell Spinner to brag, or to show off. I wish I hadn't told him, he's such a child. And the song I wrote for her wasn't a lie. How could she have said that?

Manny looked pretty with her hair like that, pulled back. She always kind of looked at me with this adoring look, which was cool but kind of…hard to take.

"Would you play that song for me?" she said with her little pleading voice. I shouldn't. I knew that. The song was for Ashley. If I sang it for Manny it would cheapen it. Ashley, man. She wanted so much. She was just pushing me, pushing me to say I loved her, forcing things. She didn't get it. It was hard for me. I couldn't be so open about my feelings like that. It threatened me, you know? She wouldn't understand.

So I started to play it for her, because it's hard to refuse girls things they want. Right now, you know, I was pissed at Ashley. I didn't really do anything so wrong. I tried to tell her how I felt the only way I could. So I told Spinner? So what? She was treating it like a capital crime. And Manny was being so understanding. Manny, unlike Ashley, didn't demand things from me, things I couldn't give. She just kind of, I don't know. Accepted things. Let me go at my own pace. But she was there, like at that rave that time. Shit. This would be like cheating, if, well, if I was even still with Ashley. That kind of felt like a break-up. So it was okay. She didn't want to be with me then fine. Manny did.

So I was playing it and then she stopped me, put her fingers over mine on the guitar neck. I looked at her, and she stumbled out something about how happy she would have been if this song had been for her. And, you know, what did I feel for Manny? She was sexy as hell right now, with these new outfits she was wearing and also just because she was older. Like last year when we went on that date, she was just so young. I couldn't wrap my head around that. But now, she was more mature. And she wasn't as judgmental as Ash was. I liked her, I knew I did.

So I set the guitar aside and she leaned in toward me and kissed me, but I kind of pulled away. What was I doing? But I wanted it, I wanted her. She was right here, too. Manny made things easy. I didn't have to chase her and convince her like I had to do with Ashley. So I stopped pulling away, I leaned in toward her and watched her eyes half close, and I could see the dark color of her iris just beneath her lids, and I reached for the tiny buttons on her shirt and undid them one by one.

Going all the way. That's a big deal. At one point she whispered that it was okay, so I kinda thought that meant she was on birth control pills or whatever. And I really couldn't think too clear at that point. I don't know if I would have been capable of stopping for a condom.