Author: Sinian
Title: Quincy archer (hates) loves you - Outtake!
Rating: T
Pairing: hinted Kenpachi X Ishida
Warnings: Crack! And English is not my first language.
Summary: This can be considered as an outtake to the original yobai story that you should have read first! Ishida once again get's a nightly visitor...
Disclaimer: The guys are not mine and I don't expect someone to give me money for this...

Wrote this for the Bleach Kink Meme over at Livejournal and totally forgot to post this here as well! Shame on me.

This is the result of a discussion about my Yobai-fic I had with my friend. I wrote it in about ten minutes and yes, it is pure crack.

It started like this:

She: "...so I figured it could be just anyone...well except maybe Zaraki, he wouldn't have crept in, he'd have walked the door down sword first...XD"
Me: "Wahhh!! Now you got a picture planted in my head that won't get away anytime soon! rofl"
She: "What picture? Tell me all about it! XD ZarakixIshida?"

And this is the result.


Quincy archer (hates) loves you - Outtake!


A dark figure crossed the lawn in front of the house. The faint light of the moon revealed that the man was naked from the neck down, but a cloth was wrapped around his head. In his hand he held a huge sword that trailed behind him, making screeching noises on the asphalt.

A slight jingle was audible as he tripped over a root that poked out of the earth. He caught himself but a string of loud and very colorful curses escaped his mouth not bothering at all if anyone would notice his presence.

"Damn this thing!" With that Zaraki Kenpachi snatched off the fabric and tossed it away. "Can't even breathe under this let alone see."

Almost at the front door he rested his zanpakuto on his broad shoulders and took a deep breath. "Oi, Ishida!" he grumbled. "Prepare yourself, 'cause now I'm coming to get you!" Mere seconds later the front door of the Ishida residence bursted into thousands of wooden pieces the size of toothpicks as Kenpachi made his entry into the house.

Stopping in the hallway he turned on the spot and muttered "Where the bloody hell is Ishida's room?" Out of nowhere he conjured up a pink piece of paper with some mysterious doodles and studied it intensely, turning it in his hands to find the right angle. "Damn you, Yachiru. Shouldn't have listened to her after all." Then Kenpachi ripped the paper into pieces and threw them away.

"Guess I have to deal with it myself." He leaned on his zanpakuto and looked up to the stairs, "ISHIDA!! GET YOUR CUTE LITTLE ASS DOWN HERE!" and then he waited. I didn't take long until there was the sound of two doors opening and hurried steps coming his way.

"Zaraki Taicho?" Uryuu's eyes were wide, he couldn't believe that the shinigami would be so bold to just break in through the front door while they all were asleep and yell something about someone's ass!

Kenpachi grinned and prepared to assault his target when a very ruffled and very pissed off Ryuuken appeared on the landing, glaring at him with crossed arms and demanded "Who are you, why did you break into my house and what do you have to do with my ass?"

Taken aback Kenpachi and Uryuu stood there open mouthed and wondered if they heard right.

It was Zaraki who snapped out of it first. "Got no fucking business with you, old man. I'm here to screw your son," he told the older Ishida and grinned lecherous at Uryuu whose jaw dropped, not believing his ears.

Then all hell broke loose as Ryuuken attacked the shinigami with all he'd got. And who was Zaraki Kenpachi, to back out of a fight?


Thanks for reading!