Splatterhouse 5

(The sequel to Curses! V1.1)

The Zerg were rushing fast over the hill that led to the Protoss colonies on Aiur. General Tassadar commanded his first wave of attackers to go outside and battle the oncoming force of mindless underlings. The Zealots did not concur, but were forced to when Tassadar said he would take away Strip Poker night for a month.

Hundreds, mabye thousands of Zerglings, were coming fast toward the cities of this peaceful planet. The Zealots rushed in weilding their warp blades and war cries, but then screamed like little girls and retreated. The Zerglings looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders, then made weird Zergy sounds and ran faster toward the Protoss fortress where Tassadar, Fenix, Razsagal, and the unconcious Zeratul were hiding out. Tassadar commanded the second wave to attack, as Fenix tried desperatly to get the spilled pink lemonade off his crotch by repeatedly rubbing a towel up and down on it. Razsagal took time to watch him for only a minute, then went back to her witchcraft.

The Dragoons would've put up a good fight, had they not taken the time to all stand in line and get haircuts at Cost Cutters©. They were slaughtered by the masses, and all the last one could do to at least intimidate the oppponent was stand on his hind legs and roar like a giant spider. To his misfortune, he was punched in the balls and left to suffer. Some of the Zerglings humped his head. That's about it.

Tassadar was getting perterbed. He could not take any more. With a third wave of attackers, Tassadar commanded the Shuttles to carry the Reavers over and blow up the Zerg forces with exploding Scarabs. The Shuttles were realeased from the hangar and carried the Reavers fast over the hill. They dropped the Reavers down to attack the Zerg, but most of landed on all the reatreateing Zealot's with their fat asses and crushed the whole first wave. The Reavers shot at the Zerglings with all they had, but due to the budget cuts and layoffs, were only supplied with 3 Scarabs each. Tassadar looked down at his wrist saying, "I knew I shouldn't have made those budget cuts to buy this new Rolex©" He pressed the glow-in-the-dark button. "Ooh, glowy!"

To eveyone's disappointment, the Reavers were dessimated. As a final resort, Tassadar commanded that the "giant-pit-full-of-big-spiky-objects" be opened. A giant door opened up in the ground outside the fortress, reavealing many big spiky objects. The herd of Zerglings rushed faster and faster over the hill, and finally came to the pit. Without stopping, they all poured in like a big pitcher of apple cider filling a glass. Which Fenix was doing at this very moment. He gracefully sat down on his hammock once more, sipping his tall glass of concentrate.

"Fenix!" Tassadar said, while looking through his parascope."Give me the time, I can't look at my Rolex right now!"

Fenix rolled his wrist over, looking at his watch. "Well, right now its--- aaaAAAHHH!"

"What's wrong?"

"Curses!"

"What?"

"Apple cider...awash in my lap! Unpleasantly chilly!"

"Oh, is that all..."

The Zerglings were still pouring in by the masses. They were piled up on the large spiky objects on top of each other, like a giant Zergling shiscabob. They the started moving up and down.

"What are they doing?" Asked Tassadar to Artanis.

"It appears they are...um..."

"Yes, son, spit it out!"

"They...seem to be...uh..."

"What is it, boy?!"

"Well...As far as I can make of it, they are having sex...again"

Pretty soon, all of the Zerglings were on the large pointy objects, dead. The Zerg fright was over, and everyone could relax once more. That is, until the Hydralisks started slithering over the hill...

...To be continued once again