If I wasn't an assassin I might have a clear conscious. If I wasn't a killer I might not be plagued down with the minds of others.

If I wasn't who I was I could be safe, I could be free. I wouldn't have to put myself or others into as much danger. I could go out and not worry about myself or the people I cared about. I would have less responsibilities and I wouldn't have to worry about mindless strangers, or having to save their butts. I would only have to worry about saving mine.

If I wasn't me I could do, see or be whatever I wanted. I could go to far off places without being in a mission and sight-see without a time or mission on my mind. I could be my own person and not have to worry about other people counting on me, needing me to succeed.

If I wasn't me I could be with people. The people I wanted to be with. Not just the people I was strewn with, or my friends; but I could get close to the people I wanted to.

I wouldn't have to worry about my safety or his. We could be our own people and we wouldn't have to hide. We could kiss in public like lovesick teenagers and not think of the people that may want to kill us both.

We could wander in the park without wondering if the other would survive the solo mission. I could be with the man who I am so close to me, but not close enough. I wouldn't have to be the Black Widow, weighed down with the problems of myself and others. I could be free, free to fly across the skies with the Hawk. If I wasn't me he could be my Hawk.