Hello my name is Nymphadora Tonks and this is my story...
When I received the acceptance letter to Hogwarts I was thrilled I was so excited to meet new people I thought that my Hogwarts days would be the best days of my life I...was...wrong.
It all started when that sorting hat was placed upon my head. It sorted me into Hufflepuff...but nobody knows that it was actually going to put me in Slytherin...years later I still remember the Sorting Hat's exact words
Hmmm a Tonks and a Black interesting...where shall we put you...hm cunning,ambitious seems like a true Slytherin to me just like your mother's family,the Blacks
No please Don't put me in Slytherin I am begging you please don't. I never wan't to be anything like mother's family please I beg of you
Well where do you want to be my dear into Hufflepuff like your humble father or into Slytherin like your cunning mother
Anywhere but Slytherin
But my dear, it seems like you have a lot of the traits maybe you have more Black blood in you than you thought
No please please please do not put me in Slytherin
hm...well I dont want any student to be unhappy in Hogwarts so...
HUFFLEPUFF
I remember walking down to the Hufflepuff table everyone cheering but then suddenly everyone stopped and a few pointed at me I was confused suddenly I caught a glimpse of my hair it was...pink
After that loads of people were bombarding me with questions and asking me to change my hair for them. At first it was fun every house in the school were fascinated by me until...A pureblood Slytherin girl asked what was my name of course I answered truthfully I said it was Nymphadora then for some odd reason she thought I was a pureblood too. For weeks we were the best of friends until one day she asked me my last name unknown of the consequences I answered truthfully again I replied that it was Tonks suddenly she started backing away from me I found this strange but I thought that she just didn't like me anymore but the truth was that she did like me but the scandal that my parents made by marrying each other years ago was so big that every pureblood family in England knew about it. It was a huge shame for the Blacks having their 2nd daughter run off with what they call a ''filthy mudblood''
Suddenly it started spreading that I was the daughter of a blood traitor and a muggleborn everyone started to hate me because they thought that I lied about being a pureblood but I didnt know the difference between a Half breed,Muggleborn,Halfblood and pureblood in the first place I thought that we were all just...people.
My first two years in Hogwarts wasn't as bad as the rest of the other years. In third year I started getting hexed and once a pureblood boy pushed me into the lake they also called me names like ''halfblood freak'' and ''filthy halfblood'' I didn't tell anybody not even the professors or my parents I thought it was for the best if I just kept the pain I was feeling a secret but in 4th year thats when my world started to crash loads of people started teasing me and saying that my mother was a nymphomaniac and thats why she married my father and named me Nymphadora that was the reason why I hated my name. A lot of other pureblood students kept on hexing me til I bled because they wanted to see if my blood was so filthy that it could change colour like my hair. It didn't. Everynight during 4th year I cried my self to sleep I couldn't tell anyone the pain I was feeling I didn't want to bother my parents they already had money problems to take care of.
In 5th year I met two boys who ended up to be my bestest friends they were Gryffindors, Charlie and Bill Weasley they were also teased a lot because even though they were purebloods they had a reputation of being bloodtraitors and being incredibly poor. Even though they were my bestfriends I never told them about what the purebloods did to me and that was also the year I started cutting my self. I felt that every single drop of blood that appeared when the knife cut through my skin I deserved because I was nothing more than a filthy halfblood every insult repeated through my head every time the blade hit my skin.
When I was in 6th year I met a girl she was a muggleborn and we got along quite well she was 16 years old
Our 3rd week of 6th year
When she got called ugly
We both got moved to the back of the class
So we would stop get bombarded by spells
But the school halls were a battleground
Where we found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day
We used to stay in Hogwarts during Hogsmeade trips
Because outside was worse
Outside we'd have to rehearse running away
Or learn to stay still like statues giving no clues that we were there
In 7th year they taped a sign to her desk
That read beware of hippogriff. To this day despite a loving husband she doesn't think she's beautiful because of a birthmark that takes up a little less than half of her face Kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer That someone tried to erase But couldn't quite get the job done And they'll never understand That she's raising two kids Whose definition of beauty Begins with the word mom Because they see her heart Before they see her skin That she's only ever always been amazing.
When I was in 7th year I tried to kill myself I couldn't take it anymore all this pain all this hatred and I just thought it was better to give up rather than keep on fighting and be crushed back to the ground. I was rushed to St Mungos . I survived and when I opened my eyes there was my mother hugging my father sobbing while crying out my name In that second when I heard the sob of my mother I knew it was time to tell her everything that happened to me the past 7 years I told her she told Dumbledore and every week for my 7th year I went to Dumbledore's office at night and he started giving me lectures to not give up and I learned several things from Dumbledore like be yourself and don't give a fuck about what anyone says about you
after I graduated I went on to Auror training and I realized that I do not want anyone to go through the same thing I did so if I want to tell anyone who is being bullied right now I want to tell them
That all of this shit
Is just debris
Leftover when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought
We used to be
And if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself
Get a better mirror
Look a little closer
Stare a little longer
Because there's something inside you
That made you keep trying
Despite everyone who told you to quit
You built a cast around your broken heart
And signed it yourself
You signed it
"They were wrong"
Because maybe you didn't belong to a group or a click
Maybe they decided to pick you last for quidditch or everything
Maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth
To show and tell but never told
Because how can you hold your ground
If everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it You have to believe that they were wrong. They have to be wrong. why else would we still be here? When I graduated I was so happy I told every single one of my friends what happened during those 7 years. I told them we are graduating members from the class of
fuck off we made it
not the faded echoes of voices crying out
names will never hurt me
of course
they did
but our lives will only ever always
continue to be
a balancing act
that has less to do with pain
and more to do with beauty.
