Avoidance.
It's something she tends to do when she can't handle a situation.
This time, the trigger is Patrick.
He kissed her. She loved it. Wanted to do it again.
And then he told her and she couldn't believe where she was, what she was doing.
Who she was with.
Her world crashed, burned like the fire happening before her.
The words fumble out of her mouth and he stands there looking confused, angry, indifferent. He doesn't get what's wrong but she can't stand being there long enough to tell him.
So she goes. Leaves him on the roof where they kissed to watch the fire that brought them there.
Walks around the school, passing out supplies to the families. Takes her mind off the roof, the boy, the kiss. His touches, her words.
She's done it all, gone back twice to make sure. Everything is passed out. Nothing left to do but wait.
She sits on the stairs, away from the roof top entrance. Away from him.
The old lady comes when it's announced everyone can go home. She tries not to cry in frustration. She can't handle this anymore.
The lady let's all the comments slide, points out what he's left. Disappears into the crowd.
At first she so happy, at least they're safe. Then she's thankful, he went and got them. Angry because he broke into her room. Confused because she thinks she's just another hook up.
What does he want? She can't play this game forever.
-.-.-.-.-
School is called off the day after the evacuation. At least someone understands the students were up until way past midnight and realized half wouldn't show up anyway.
Her dad's called in; the hospital needs all hands on deck. Not all the homes were saved and not all the expecting, frantic mothers were only seven months pregnant.
He'll be gone all day.
Her sister opens the door after their dad has already left. She wants a ride to drop off the clothes she burrowed. For once, she doesn't mock or complain just agrees and gets in the car.
Her sister is curious, "what happened between you and Patrick?"
She slams on her brakes at the stop sign, a little harder then needed.
Bianca is jerked forward, "ow! You didn't have to do that!"
"I had to come to a complete stop. It's the law." She doesn't have her usually spunk as she says it, her usual sarcasm. It goes unnoticed.
Her sister grumbles about something but the original subject is dropped.
-.-.-.-.-.-
As it turns out, Chastity wanted her sister to stay so like the loyal puppy her sister is, she does.
For once, she gets the house to herself.
She sprawls on the couch. Watches a movie where the woman is repressed but in the end stands up for herself. Cries when the main character does. Waits as the main character waits.
When the credits roll, she's surprised to hear the door bell ring. She gets up and wonders over to it. Through the glass she can see Patrick standing, looking right at her.
She stops. Shakes her head at him. Turns and walks away.
He shouts something through the door but she can't hear it. It's too muffled and she's too far away.
She goes up to her room. Waits for him to leave. Half expects him to appear at her window so she shuts the curtains. Just in case. Decides if he does come to the window, he'll be right there. Too close. She turns to Bianca's empty, doorless room. Good enough.
She just lays there on her sister's bed, an arm thrown across her eyes. Waiting.
Jumps when he says something.
"Can we talk?"
She sits up, looks at him. He's leaning against the doorframe, staring down at her with those smoldering eyes.
She looks away.
"Breaking and entering. Again. Are you making a habit of this?"
Her voice is crisp, hard.
He pushes off the frame, walks closer. Sits on the bed. Their backs face each other since she can't and he won't force her.
They don't say anything for a long time.
Until she gets fed up with his silence and stands. Walks around to face him.
"Why are you here?" He just looks up at her with something unreadable in his eyes.
Before she knows it, he's kissing her again. Hard.
She's so tempted to fall into it. To just give up but last night flashes in her mind and she remembers.
When she regains her senses she pushes him off. Slaps him across the face.
"I'm not one of your whores. I'm not just going to hook up with you and be done until the next time you want some."
"I didn't say you were!" His cheek is turning a nice shade of red. Matching his rising anger.
"You meant it though." Her hand is prickling but it was worth it. "Last night you were just looking for a hook up. So sorry you got me instead."
"That's not what this is about!"
"Oh, so sneaking into my room last night was just to talk? Ha. Like I'm that naïve. You just want me as a booty call. I'm not a slut you can play with. I have my dignity, you know."
"That's not it, I-" She cuts him off.
"Shut up! Remember, I have a brain and I know how to use it." She takes a deep breath. Calms herself. "Just get out before I call the cops."
"You know what? That's how it's always going to be with you isn't it? One step forward, two steps back. God, I'm never going to be good enough am I? Why can you just let me in?" He's pleading almost. It's something she'd love to see on another day, at another time.
"I hate you." She's so pathetic when she says it. "Go, okay? Just go." Can't even look him in the eye. Just points.
"Kat…"
It's quiet for a while. When she hears the footsteps disappear down the steps she does something she hasn't done for herself in a while.
She cries.
It's so weird. As she collapses on her sisters floor, as she sobs so hard she can't make herself stop.
She can't believe she loves him so much it hurts. Of course this would happen. Of course she'd mess it up.
-.-.-.-.-.-
When Bianca comes in, she freaks. At first she's angry; she sister is in her room without her permission. Then she's worried, her sister isn't moving. She hears the ragged way her sister is breathing, the redness in her face and she knows. She knows what happened. Then she's calling, dialing a number she had to search long and hard for.
"What did you do to my sister?" She doesn't give the person time to say hello and doesn't wanted simple pleasure of polite conversations.
"Who is this?" Patrick asks, incredulously. Though he's already guessing.
Bianca sits down next to her sister, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "I'm Bianca Stratford. Kat's sister."
He doesn't answer for a minute. "Did she put you up to this?"
"Ha. You're so dumb." He can't believe a cheerleader just called him dumb. "Like Kat would even have someone else fight her battles."
She's aware; her sister is on the phone. She doesn't have to wonder who for long until it clicks.
"Bianca, get off the phone." She's angry for reasons she doesn't understand.
Bianca shakes her head, "no I wanna hear it from him, what he did."
He has no idea what's going on but settles in for the show.
"It's none of your business what he did or does for that matter."
"Oh, just like it's none of my business why you're passed out on my floor?" Now he's really listening.
"Bianca!" She makes a reach for the phone.
"Kat!"
"Give me the phone!" She misses again.
"Not until I know!" Into the phone, "So, what happened? Huh?"
"Bianca!" She get's it. Says into the phone. To him, "Sorry for interrupting your evening. I'm sure you have some chick to bang." Hangs up. Tosses the phone on the bed.
Her sister is speechless, mouth touching the floor. "Oh. That makes sense."
She walks out feeling just as bad as she did when he left and she ruined everything.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
She skips dinner that night, her dad still isn't back and she doesn't feel like cooking for herself. Bianca can survive on her own for one night.
She locks herself in her room, playing her mom's records. Humming to almost every song.
There's a knock on her door.
"Bianca, go away I don't want to talk about it."
"You know, I've never been mistaken for a girl before." And it's him.
"Wow, your second break in today. Surprise, surprise."
"Are you at least decent?"
She's wearing almost the same thing he saw her in last night. "No, I'm naked."
He opens the door, smirk in place, "well good. That's what I wanted to hear."
She glares at him. Throws a pillow his way.
"Your sister let me in."
"I'm gonna kill her."
"Now that's sisterly love."
"Says the cannibal." She looks at him before going back to her book, "sorry, I'm not on duty tonight. Try the next house over. I hear that girl is cheap."
He sits on the floor, propped against her bed. Hesitates a moment. "Look, I'm sorry. Last night, it didn't come out right. I didn't mean for it to sound so, so…" He can't find the right word.
She helps, "So degrading? Brazen? It's okay. I get it all the time."
He sighs like an old man, "Kat. Stop."
She turns to look at him, "stop what? Having a mind of my own? And here I thought that's what made me interesting."
He's looking at her with wiry eyes, "Maybe I was wrong, maybe it's that sharp tongue of yours that's interesting." Shakes his head, "can we start over? Maybe do this right this time?"
"Start what over Patrick? We had nothing to begin with."
And he's kissing her again. This time she doesn't fight. This time she's too weak to care.
When they break apart he whispers, "Then let's start something. Here and now. Together."
She searches his eyes, "I'm not a one night stand." He nods against her forehead. "I want a relationship, not just hook ups." He nods again.
"Anything else?"
"I want another kiss."
-.-.-.-.-
A/N: I wrote this a while ago. I don't remember if it's finished or not, or why I didn't upload this sooner.
Oh, well.
Review and tell me what you think :)
