Author's Note: Alright, so I'm putting all my randomosity one shots in one multi-chaptered story! Here are a few points:
I'm going to do my best to stay in the South Park spirit.
I will avoid slash stories. I believe that the boys were never meant to be gay. They are straight. There might be some suggestive slash, but any same sex things among the boys will be kept to a minimum. So get over it!
Variety is key. These stories will range in quality, length, genre POVs and center characters. These could be some of the worst things on the site, they could be some of my best work, they could be really brutal stories where everyone dies, and they could be happy, fluffy, lighthearted stories. I just don't know!
The stories don't necessarily need to be read in order. When I get more out, you can read them however you like, or just skip one altogether. It's all good.
These are sort of a creative vent for me, OK? They are random and allow me some creative freedom. Don't be too harsh!
Disclaimer: Yeah, of course, I own South Park. ME! Not. Me no owny South Park. Got it? Good.
Warning: Stories may not be suitable for "the whole family." Use your discretion.
So now, enjoy...
South Park One Shot Fun for the Whole Family
Story 1: Caught (or Not)
Kyle's eyes followed Cartman as the fat ass paced intently. There was a smug look set on his face, and Kyle wasn't liking this one bit. He wanted to wipe the smirk off the fat bastard's face, but he controlled himself. It wouldn't be prudent to let himself get to worked up.
"So, Kaaaahle," Cartman trilled as he turned to face Kyle. "You thought you could get away with it, didn't you?"
Kyle's eyes narrowed. "Well, yeah, actually."
"Don't be a smartass! You're mine now, got it? This is my jail, and you're in it. So shut your god damn mouth!" Cartman snapped. "Maybe you'll learn your lesson. Some time in my jail might straighten you out."
"You can't keep me here forever," Kyle hissed. "Someone will come and get me out. Stan, or Kenny or even Tweek will notice I'm missing and come for me. But I will get out. I won't stay forever; it's not the way it works."
"You don't decide how it works, Kyle! You get no say in this. You're the captor, and you are mine! You have no rights! You here me, no rights! Nobody is coming for you, you are stuck. Got it?"
Kyle cocked an eyebrow. "Cartman, you're taking this pretty seriously. So what, I'm caught, I'm in your jail. I knew you'd be an ass about it, but you're really into this. Calm down, fat ass, it's just-"
"Kyle, don't interrupt me," Cartman said calmly.
"Actually, I didn't interrupt you, you interrupted me," Kyle pointed out.
"Kyle, don't interrupt me," Cartman repeated, a little firmer this time.
Kyle suspected the fat ass had more to say, but he spoke up before he had the chance. "Figures they'd put you in charge of watching the jail. You can't run to catch anyone, or to head over to our territory and not get caught. They had to do something with you, so they stuck you here. You don't have to really do anything physical, just catch the people rescuing the others from jail."
"Kyle, god DAMN it, I told you NOT TO INTERRUPT ME! SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING JEW MOUTH YOU ASSHOLE!" Cartman screeched. His large frame heaved as he panted angrily, and Kyle shut his mouth.
Cartman smiled as he was greeted by silence. "There, was that so hard, Kaaaahle? I didn't think so. I'm the boss here, and you better behave yourself, or you will be punished."
Kyle simply rolled his eyes in response, and bit back the remark that danced on the tip of his tongue. He hoped someone would get here soon. They would have a good chance of getting past Cartman, he was too distracted by his position of power. Cartman still had that smug look on his face. Kyle couldn't do anything, he was stuck. His pride wasn't liking this one bit.
What did Cartman mean by "punished"? What could he do to him? Of course the fat ass was enjoying this more than he should have been, but punished? That was taking things a little too far. Kyle thought he was bluffing. There was no way they'd let him "punish" people.
Would they?
"Gotcha!"
Kyle and Cartman looked over as someone tagged Kyle on the shoulder. Stan arrived none too soon.
"Ha! I told you someone would come for me!" Kyle cried out triumphantly.
"No. No! You can't leave, I OWN you!" Cartman called out in despair.
"No, Cartman, I'm free now. That's how the game works. You were supposed to be watching for people coming to tag me out. But you just had to take it too far. So now I'm out, and you lose, fat boy!" Kyle turned to Stan. "Let's go."
Stan looked back at Cartman quizzically as he cried out angrily. "What's up with him?"
"He seems to be really into this. He liked having me in captivity," Kyle shrugged.
"OK, so Tweek knows where the flag is, but he didn't get it. He managed to run back in time, but we know where it is now, at least," Stan updated Kyle. "What was jail like with Cartman as the prison guard?"
Kyle shook his head. "Dude, it was totally gay. Cartman should not be allowed to play capture the flag."
Author's Note: Hope that wasn't too bad... Remember, random stories...
