The Anderson Family
"Kurt!" beamed Blaine as he headed into the Hummel-Hudson household as normal.
"Yes, hun?" asked Kurt from the kitchen, Blaine beamed and headed in.
"Guess what… you remember this summer when you came to my family reunion," smiled Blaine.
"You mean…. Where my name varied from Karlie all the way to Stephan?" asked Kurt with a small smile.
"Ohm yeah…"
"The same place where you dad introduced me as your 'friend?' Is this also the same place as your brother Cooper was?" asked Kurt.
"Yes, but as I was saying… well we're having a family get together this weekend and they really want you to come," smiled Blaine hopefully, Kurt blinked.
"No," said Kurt as he went back to making dinner.
"But why?" asked Blaine.
"I have no need to be called by the wrong name, stared at, inappropriately touched by a series of your family members, or have your grandmother address me as 'young lady' or 'the lesbian'… no thank you Blaine," said Kurt finally, Blaine looked ready to start arguing a defense.
"Hey guys, what's up?" asked Finn coming in and grabbing a drink from the fridge.
"Finn could come," beamed Blaine, "You'd feel less awkward and they'd love to meet someone from your family."
"No," said Kurt, "Blaine, everytime I go near one of your family gatherings your brother gropes me."
"He's a hugger."
"He grabbed my ass."
"He's playful."
"He calls me Sweet Cheeks,"
"Affectionate nickname, he likes you."
"He kissed me."
"He was saying goodbye," sighed Blaine.
"With his tongue?" asked Kurt, with a groan.
"…. What the hell did I walk in on?" asked Finn, he'd stopped opening his soda in confusion.
"Blaine wants us to come to his family reunion," groaned Kurt, "We're not."
"Kurt, you're my boyfriend and they've grown accustomed to hearing about you all the time, if you don't come they're going to assume we broke up… please," pouted Blaine, Finn looked at Kurt with a shrug.
"I'll go," said Finn, trying to sound reassuring to Kurt.
"Finn… no offence Blaine… but you don't know what you're getting into… I still don't," mumbled Kurt.
"Is this about my cousin Gene? I know he asked you about babies and stuff…" Blaine was cut off.
"You mean your cousin Gina, now Gene… who asked if I ever thought about watching her… sorry his… imaginary children?" asked Kurt.
"Their names are Cody and Colleen," glared Blaine.
"Fine… I'll go… but if anything happens to Finn…" muttered Kurt.
.=.=.
Kurt drove home from the Anderson house in silence as Finn stared off wide eyed out the window. Kurt looked at his brother and bit his lip, this had been too much for him to handle. They'd arrived, been greated by Blaine's drunk mom, who had decided it was appropriate to hit on Finn…. Which led to Kurt being macked on by Cooper and his ass grabbed by a random older lady. During which Finn had somehow wound up tied up by the nine year old twins Heather and Hellena…. Which had all happened the first ten minutes… the rest was a blur of unease to Kurt.
"Finn…" said Kurt softly.
"… yes," whispered Finn.
"Are you okay?" asked Kurt.
"I was beaten up, tied up, groped, proposed too, hit on, violated, and serenaded in the span of, "Finn looked at his watch, "Fifteen minutes….. sure… I'm fine."
"If it makes you feel better… Blaine's grandmother thinks I'm a lesbian name Charlie who's after Blaine's money. His brother clearly has some deep rooted homosexual tendancies… I mean he's grabbed my ass more than Blaine ever has," said Kurt with a shrug.
"…..Kurt…"
"Yes Finn?" asked Kurt.
"If you marry Blaine…" Finn began, Kurt blanched.
"Not going to happen," said Kurt quickly.
"But if you do…. We'd be part of their family…" said Finn with a slight disturbed look.
"No…. I love Blaine, but unless I can somehow eliminate his family… it will never get that far," said Kurt with a slight eye twitch, it went silent again.
"…. Colleen and Cory were nice," nodded Finn, Kurt smiled.
"They always are," said Kurt.
THE END
2 am talks with Shime is dangerous.
