Code Lyoko: Obsolete
Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Character(s): Aelita S., William D.
Summary: We all have to move on. Lyoko's gone now, everything's over and done with. The game has finally been won, now we just have to deal with the consequences. One-shot, post-series.
AN: Hey, so this little fic was born form the question "What if William remembered what he did under XANA?", "how Aelita copes with everything after Lyoko" and "the slight shift in team dynamics". There are mentions of UlrichxYumi and OddxSamantha. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Not mine.
The house is quit. The growing pile of dust covering the mess on the floor and the paint peeling off the walls the only evidence of the ghosts that once lived here. The mess doesn't bother me anymore, or the damage done to the interior of the house, I've gotten so used to it that I couldn't imagine it any other way.
The piano sits in the corner, silent as always. I can only hear the echo of the song that used to be played on it. I don't dare sit in that seat nor touch the keys. There are no notes to guide my fingers, only a memory I wished to forget.
...
I avoid the old house after my affairs with Lyoko are finished. It didn't seem right going there. The place had an alluring air of mystery that chilled most to the bone, like playing out parts in a horror movie and just waiting for the monster to jump out. For me, it felt like walking through a dream when I was already awake, the nostalgia bleeding into an empty void.
This place had once been my last remaining connection to my family, but now it stood, deserted as it once was, before my return – like a gravestone, marking the last remnants of the life that used to be, once, before virtual worlds and corrupt computer viruses ever came into the picture.
...
A few weeks later, something finally leads me to the path through the forest. I stop in front of the gates to gaze at the old house. It looks normal enough from the outside, its' secrets masked by a mundane façade. The grass had grown considerably since the last time I had walked through the garden. I pushed the door open; it was unlocked, as it always is. I cross the hallway and go into the living room, but no song rings in my ears and there is no ghost playing the piano – just an empty room in an abandoned house.
...
The suitcase fills the space within the locker almost perfectly. If one did not look into the bag to find the broken disks of my father's life's work, one would think I had never opened it.
Shutting down the super-computer was closure, this is goodbye.
...
I don't know why I haven't noticed before, but my friends keep sending me concerned looks often these days. I hadn't noticed right up until Jérémie came over and put a hand on my shoulder, asking "You okay?" I blinked, bemused and shook my head. Jérémie sighed "You know you can tell me anything, Aelita."
And that's when I began to notice. How Yumi and Ulrich always made sure to be near me, while still keeping enough distance to not be out of the ordinary – as if waiting for some attack or danger that had became obsolete the moment XANA was vaporized. We were all a little obsolete, I guess, like computers with outdated programs, made for solving problems that they'd already taken care of. Odd calls me to join in one of his "adventures" often, from running in the forest to riding skateboards in the streets. He'd signed up for gymnastics after XANA was defeated, the agility he'd had in Lyoko had somehow managed to preserve itself in the real world. He'd called me to watch more than once. It reminded us both of a time that was now long gone, the only difference was that Odd could move on. Familiarity helped him cope, while it just hurt me further.
William was the most subtle of them all, not that I was surprised. He'd distanced himself from everyone, even us – or was it us especially? But the wary, somewhat uncertain glances told me that he was still intone with the team dynamics enough to know something was off. William wasn't dumb, but he had become cautious, had become guarded. Out of all of us, he had changed the most, but whether it was for better or worse remained to be seen.
On some days it seemed as though he'd shut everyone out, and I knew we were the only ones capable of pulling him out of whatever reverie he'd fallen into. He was the one who continued to drift, somewhere between this world and Lyoko, while not quite belonging to either.
We needed one another, just like in Lyoko, or maybe because of Lyoko, because we bound ourselves so tightly to each other that letting go simply didn't come into the question. We'd gotten too used to protecting our teammates, from leaning back to back and fighting side-by-side that we simply didn't realize that we didn't need to anymore. William was the loose thread in the tapestry.
...
As things change, so do people and I guess that's what happened to us. The circumstances dictated our behavior, but once they changed, we didn't – at least, not completely.
...
It was Tuesday morning and we were all having breakfast when Yumi decided to point out the obvious "Okay, what's up with you two?" Two. Not three, because we all knew William often had rough nights. "You look like you haven't slept in weeks." It was true. Odd and Ulrich both had deep, purple bruises under tired, sleep-deprived eyes.
William looked away. Odd faked obliviousness with a trademark, cheeky grin – it didn't work. Ulrich just stared at his plate, refusing to say anything. Finally, Odd sighed "We've been helping William..." he said hesitantly, side-glancing at the boy in question.
"With?" Yumi prompted, a concerned frown crossing her face.
Before Odd or Ulrich could say anything, William shook his head. "Nightmares." he uttered flatly and got up.
...
So, William has nightmares. It's not such a big shock, I suppose. I expected as much. My memories often visited me in my dreams, snapshots and a piano's melody somewhere in the background. Lately, they were of XANA and my father, and I was fortunate enough to get any sleep on those nights.
But William? William had been part of it, had been XANA's puppet and done his dirty work. Part of me had been angry with William, for fighting for X.A.N.A, for allowing himself to be possessed, for making all those things XANA did possible. But exhaustion breaks apart anger, and I know he already blames himself as it is. He is scared. XANA terrifies him. And I cann't blame him, after all, I am as lost and as guilty as I am scared.
...
William trashes and turns in his bed. He whimpers and murmurs, and sometimes, on the most horrible nights, he screams.
That's how Odd found him one night. He had gone out on a date with Samantha, they went to a party or something. He was sneaking around the hallway on the boy's level, he explained, then he heard whimpering coming from one of the rooms. Strangely enough, it was William's. Curious, he reached out for the handle and let himself in.
What he found had him wondering if the punch he had earlier at the party was spiked.
He amazed me by the detail he put in the story.
William laid on his stomach, thin sheets ruffled and tossed to the floor. One hand dangled off the edge of the bed as he mumbled into his pillow.
Odd had been about to step out of the room when William's mumbles became whimpers, louder and more desperate that they were before. "I just stood there, totally confused..." Odd sighs miserably "And then he started screaming."
He told me how William woke almost the entire floor that night, and was genuinely surprised that he didn't wake any of the girls on the upper floor too.
"I didn't know what to do, I just... I started shaking his shoulder, but that just made it worse. Then Jim came."
Jim, as I can imagine, wasn't too pleased to be woken up in the middle of the night by a student because some brat was having a nightmare. But, as Odd told me, when he saw the state William was in, all grumpiness had vanished.
William, in the time it took the unnamed boy to get Jim, had thrashed and screamed when someone touched him. He went from screaming to whimpering and mumbling pleas that anyone who had taken the time to listen to would be dumb founded by. But Odd wasn't anybody. He knew exactly what William was talking about.
"Will he ever be free?" asks Odd, his voice holding a note of false mirth. Dark humor didn't suit him.
...
In the end, Ulrich got the girl, though it was arguable that he always had her. William had somehow become a brief-love-interest-turned-older-brother, how - only Yumi knew. But I guest 'older brother' suits him, in a way.
Ulrich and Odd variegate from younger to older brothers, and then back to younger. They proffer it that way.
William doesn't pick fights anymore, they remind him too much of the time he fought under XANA and exactly who he fought. He was afraid of hurting people yet again. Physically, as well as emotionally.
Odd never did tell me what exactly William had mumbled on that first night, but he told me, vaguely, that after Jim's hand smacked William's shoulder, that the boy had been a mess. Shaking with sobs and teary eyed, awkwardly, Odd had tried to comfort the older teen. Jim couldn't, he didn't understand so he couldn't help, so he backed off and ordered the other boys back to their rooms. "Good ol' Jimbo." Odd had said with a slight smile.
After the two were given their privacy, Odd had put a tentative hand on William's shoulder, remembering just how the other boy had reacted the last time he did so.
William, startled, look up at him. Tears cascaded gently over his pale cheeks while he still sniveled from time to time. His eyes were glazed over. He was in a daze. "O-Odd?" he called out, uncertain.
"He", Odd swallows uneasily "He looked so miserable, so lost..." Odd shakes his head to clear him mind of the distressing images. "What he said..." he looks down, eyes distant and sad.
I felt curious despite myself "Oh?" I intone, a bit awkward "What did he say?" I ask cautiously.
Odd smiles that mirthless, detached, fake smile that really doesn't suite him "You're alive." I look at him, confused for a second, until the realization hits me "How are the others?"
...
You don't know what you got, the saying goes, until it's gone. And now that even these fleeting memories began to fade, I knew exactly what that meant. The music still plays on, somewhere, far off in the distance, growing ever harder to hear.
I don't want to forget my lullaby, I don't want to let go. As a result, I buy a music book. The notes are easy enough to read, and easy enough to play once you figure out which finger goes on which key. It reminds me somewhat of computer codes and a digital keyboard as my fingers type in commands and information, programs and tests.
The melody is broken, my fingers pause every so often before I press down on the according key. There are some blanks I can't remember how to fill, but I write down what I can, humming to myself every once and a while to check if the notes still embody the melody they're supposed to.
The old piano does as my fingers instruct it to. Old age doesn't deter it from playing, even if its' pianist has changed. My hands are not my father's, they're smaller, that of a young girl as opposed to the calloused ones of the ghost I had taken the place of. But the piano plays as it always had, out of tune as it might be.
...
If someone asked me now 'What are you doing awake in the middle of the night?' or 'Why are you even awake?' I'd tell them that I have no idea.
Giving up on any further attempt on getting some shut-eye, I sigh and sit up. My bare feet touch the floor and I search for my slippers in the dim moonlight streaming through the window. Once I put them on, I go to the door and make my way down the hall. I've already checked for any signs of Jim, but he doesn't seem to be around. Good ol' Jimbo won't even notice I'm gone.
I push the doors that lead to the stairs open slowly, making sure I make as little sound possible.
Jérémie's usually up at this hour, working late nights on cracking codes or working on new inventions had messed up his internal clock. I don't know where he finds the time for sleep, usually someone had to force him away from the computer or annoy him until he gives in. Odd and Ulrich have taken a liking to that job.
I descend the flight of stairs quietly, keeping an eye out for Jim. What I find at the base of the stairs has me wondering if I am dreaming. I quickly shake the thought away, and just stand there for a while, staring at the back of his jacket. There is only one other person that could be wandering the campus at this time of night, and it certainly wasn't Jérémie.
"You want...?" William asks vaguely, not even bothering to turn around and see who he is speaking to. I half-smile, descending the last few steps before seating myself next to him, both to annoy and console him "To sit." I say simply.
He snorts, but doesn't say anything.
I stare at him for a moment, scrutinizing him in the darkness of the staircase. I notice he's in his street cloths – worn-out jacket, dark jeans and leather boots – just his style. His expression is deceptively blank "Penny for your thoughts?"
William smirks "Don't waste your money." Typical, sardonic William. Why can't he ever make this easy?
I frown, thinking of what might be the right thing to say, but nothing comes to mind. William decidedly keeps staring straight ahead, at some point in the distance only he can see, lost in thought. My eyes wander to the door to the boy's level of the dormitory. It's slightly ajar, allowing me to see the slight sliver of light under Jérémie's door.
William sighs "Jeremie's waiting, isn't he?" He wants to be alone, I realize. He isn't hostile about it, or snappy – his tone is flat and defeated. When it becomes obvious that I'm not going anywhere, he turns slightly, so that we're facing each other. He looks subdued. There are dark bruises under his tired eyes; his skin is paler than usual.
After a moment he looks away, closing his eyes "Leave me alone." he whispers miserably, there's no usual bark behind his words. William combs his fingers through his tousled hair.
I bite my lip. Odd told me William hadn't been sleeping well these past few days, but I never imagined it would be this bad. I've never seen him this depressed before.
Odd always managed to cheer him up with some shenanigans, and even Ulrich made an effort to join in, but neither was good for any emotional talk. Yumi could sympathize, to an extent, but she wasn't around enough to be his confidant. William needed a shoulder to cry on when he woke up from his nightmares, one we couldn't provide him with. Strangely enough, it was Jérémie who managed to calm William after his nighttime terrors. I guess, since Jérémie never stepped foot in Lyoko, it reassured William that he was really free, that there was no XANA lurking behind every corner.
"Leave me alone." William's voice is still quiet "Please."
I don't get up, nor do I make any move to leave him alone. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I can do. William is still looking away from me.
"You know", I swallow uneasily "You know I forgive you, right?"
William snorts half-heartedly "Like it was my fault."
That hit home. Here I am, trying to help him, to understand and he's giving me the cold shoulder. "Oh? And whose is it?"
William seems taken aback "I – XANA's," he stuttered "It's all his fault." he seems to deflate even more after that "All his fault." He repeats. There's a pause "I wish I never stepped foot in Lyoko." He admits and before I know what's happening he's already heading down the stairs and towards the exit.
"William? William!" I hiss, running after him. He doesn't stop. When I catch him by the sleeve of his jacket were already out the door.
"What?" he snaps, wrenching his arm from my grasp.
"I-I-" I stammer, taken aback by the sudden anger in his voice. My cheeks flush "Stop running!" I burst suddenly, and it's a good thing I didn't wake anyone up.
He glares at me "Oh? And what exactly am I running from?"
"From everything!" I shout "XANA's gone, why can't you just accept that and move on?!"
That, apparently, hit a nerve "And how am I supposed to do that, huh?" he snapped "How am I supposed to escape my nightmares? My memories?! Should I just ignore everything I did?!" William's voice is raw with emotion "I remember, Aelita! Everything I did-!" he breaks off and runs his fingers through his hair in frustration "I was like his lap-dog! I did everything at his beck and call..."
He finally stops, hugging himself and looking absolutely miserable yet again. He stares at the floor, I can't see his face clearly, but once the clouds pass and the shadows lift, I see that William's shoulders are shaking slightly.
"Do you know how many times I tried to kill you?" he asks "Or Yumi? Or Odd, Ulrich or Jérémie? Or Sissi?! Sissi, who has nothing to do with this besides being at the wrong place at the wrong time!" William collapses on the top stair, cradling his head in his hands. "I was controlled by a monster, Aelita." he whispers, not looking up "What if-" he swallows "What if I'm the monster? What if... I'm like that even when doesn't need to control me?" William lets out a strangled cry, but silences himself quickly.
I can only stare.
William just sits there, head in his hands and his knees supporting his elbows. I think he's forgotten I'm even here, or maybe he thinks I've finally left him to wallow in his misery. It would be so easy to walk away now. I don't know how to comfort him. I'm too afraid that, by reaching out, I might be pushing him away as well.
I take a tentative step towards him, he doesn't seem to notice, I doubt he realizes I'm still here. I sit down next to him, biting my lip. William still doesn't react. "William?" I call out quietly. There's no answer, he doesn't seem to even have heard me.
"Leave my alone." William whispers suddenly. I'm not sure if he's talking to me or something in his head. During the time William spent under XANA, he though he was just a computer program of some sorts. Ironic that I had thought that even after coming to the real world. We aren't so different, I guess. I dimly wonder that if I had went out of the tower would I have ended up similar to William. Probably not.
My memories came to me in my dreams, but even though some were terrifying there were still those that gave me hope about discovering my identity and finding my father. William's are shrouded in XANA's darkness, no means of escape and no memory of his life in the real world. He still doesn't remember everything. There are blanks in his memory, even before Lyoko. I guess that's a side effect of being possessed.
I remember how Ulrich made some off-handed joke about William's casanova antics he did before Lyoko, and William just stared at him "What are you talking about? I never did that." We all laughed, thinking it was a joke - it wasn't.
Strange, how someone can change so much in two years. From the jerk before Lyoko, to XANA's corrupt puppet, to... I'm not sure how to define this new, depressed William. This William, who has too many memory blanks and static in his head, who wakes up screaming in the middle of the night because he remembers almost killing a classmate or friend because XANA commanded him to do so.
My hand finally touches his shoulder, and he flinched and jerks away from the unexpected touch. His eyes are wide as he looks at me "W-what are you still doing here?"
He's lost, maybe more lost then I was when Jérémie first materialized me.
The haughty show-off, always with something to prove. William's a loner, always has been. I think we're the first true friends he's ever had, just like they are mine. But they resent him, and he knows that. He knows when Yumi decidedly ignores him, even though he still chases after her. He knows when Odd's pranks turn from playful to spiteful, but he also knows Odd treats everything like a joke. Odd thinks that pranks and jokes won't affect anything, that they can mend relationships with a laugh. William knows whenever Ulrich gives him a particularly nasty glare, warning that if he tries anything he would kick his butt. I think Ulrich resents bringing him back just as much as sending him into Lyoko. Jérémie doesn't do anything, even if he is the one who worked the hardest to get him back. He doesn't joke, or jab, but he doesn't stop the others from doing so either.
William's done too much for us to trust him, that's what Yumi says. I can't find the real William under all the masks. Most of the school thinks he's a freak, the teacher's think he's got some mental affliction, the Lyoko Warriors treat his like an enemy more often that not and he doesn't even seem to care anymore.
...
The piano sings whenever I enter the house, and my legs often take me on strolls through the forest. It's a good thing it's so far away from everything, or else someone might have thought it suspicious and come in to investigate – and I dread being found here. But there's no one to hear the music but me, and no one to stare at me as I sit alone at an old piano in a forgotten home. The loneliness is both unnerving and overwhelming, but once the silence is broken the oppressing air seems to simmer and the feeling of unease is pushed to the back of my mind.
The paper and the notes I wrote on it are now laid in front of me as I press the keys on the piano, like numbers into a computer, a password to allow me access to new files, numbers and words now becoming notes and the music they produce.
The piano sings, and it keeps the memories safe within that song - filled with the soft click-click of Jeremy's console, Yumi's and Ulrich's blushing faces, Odd's laughter and William's once-cocky grins - even as the instrument begins to lose its' voice, the music plays on.
AN: Was William OOC? I'd really like to hear what you guys think. Please review!
