The curtains blocked the stage from view. When a diminutive, redheaded young woman stepped through the curtains the stage was still hidden. The green-eyed carrot top was only four feet tall, but her hair was arranged in a wild ponytail to add at least four inches more height. She was dressed in a somber Victorian dress complete with cameo brooch at her throat. She held a fan that she unfolded in front of her mouth to peer evilly at her audience. After a dramatic pause, she folded her fan with a snap and smiled a predatory grin.
"Ladies and gentlemen," her voice seemed strangely loud after the deafening silence. "The story that follows may scare you. It may even terrify you. We ask that pregnant women, those with heart problems and others with weak constitutions please excuse yourselves at this time. No one will think less of you, and we ask that the ladies in the audience please refrain from screaming during the narrative."
"What about the men?" came a call from the audience.
"What?" the redhead blinked in confusion.
"What about the men in the audience, Washu?" asked a tall Japanese man with broad shoulders, eyeglasses, and a pencil-thin mustache. "Are they allowed to scream if it gets too scary?"
"Geeze, Nobuyuki, grow a pair!" Washu snapped irritably. "Sheesh! Ya ought'a be ashamed!" She closed her eyes, cleared her throat, and unfolded her fan in front of her chest. Then she drew the fan before her mouth again and hissed evilly. "And now, on with the show…heh-heh-heh…"
Galaxy 1001D presents:
Washustein; or the Modern Mad Scientist
Starring Washu Hakubi as Doctor Washu Fitzgerald von Washustein
Tenchi Muyo and all related characters are © AIC/Pioneer/Genon/Funimation. This story is written solely for entertainment and is not intended to make a profit in any way.
Based on "Frankenstein; or, the Modern Prometheus" created by Mary Shelly
And "Tenchi Muyo" created by Masaki Kajishima
Chapter One: The Loquacious Castaway
It was a dark and stormy night. Actually, not really. There wasn't any wind. It was foggy though, and cold. Mindnumblingly cold. So cold that the private parts of the seamen aboard the S.S. Pioneer shrunk to the size of peanuts and hid themselves within the anterior base of the abdomen for warmth. It was so cold that one could pour boiling water out of a coffeepot and witness chunks of ice hitting the ground. It was so cold that snowmen were tempted to start a fire to keep warm.
The Pioneer was surrounded by ice. Almost completely surrounded by ice that closed on the ship from all sides. In addition the thick fog obscured the stark and white scenery, denying the crew a view of the horizon.
Captain Norbert "Nobuyuki" Walton was starting to believe that attempting to be the first man to reach the North Pole was not the smartest thing in the world to do. He felt himself madder than King George the Third who had been too crazy to rule Great Britain, allowing his son George the Fourth to become regent in his place. He felt himself madder than Madman McAllister, first place winner of last year's 'Mr. Madman' competition. What had he been thinking? He had let the idea of fame and fortune and a place in the history books blind him to the cold hard truth that the North Pole is surrounded by cold hard ice.
The worst part had to be the fact that this far away from civilization there wasn't a woman around for hundreds of miles. Instead miserable and scruffy sailors surrounded him. There wasn't even a cabin boy that was feminine enough to let him pretend there was a woman on board. The Pioneer's cabin boy was nicknamed 'Hairy Jack', and the most effeminate person aboard was known as 'Stinky Bill.' Pretty soon Nobuyuki wasn't even interested in the more biblical activities a man could pursue with a woman. Just hearing a woman's voice or smelling her perfume would be enough to get through another week.
"Hey! Hey you!" a nasal yet feminine voice called out. Nobuyuki and his surprised men saw a tiny figure on a dogsled gesturing at them. "Hey! Let me up!" she cried. "The ice is cracking! My dog team and I are going to freeze to death and drown if you don't let us up!"
"Uh, bring the lady and her dog team on board," Nobuyuki hesitantly ordered. There was no way that figure on the ice could really be a woman, but then there was no way anybody could be out here, for if his calculations were correct they were hundreds of miles from land.
When she came on board, her actual form was hard to see. Her body was concealed in layers of furs and warm clothing that made her actual shape a mystery. She asked for a room to change in and the captain graciously offered her his cabin. He did this for two reasons. First, he had the best cabin on the ship and his chivalrous nature would never give a woman a substandard room. Secondly, he knew where the peephole that would allow him to spy on her was hidden.
As Nobuyuki put his eye against the knothole in the wood he was rewarded to see his passenger remove her wet clothing. That is at first. As she removed layer after layer of clothing her rotund form got smaller and slimmer. Pretty soon, the captain began to worry if there would be anything but a gangly two-foot tall skeleton under all those furs. Thankfully, the woman stopped shrinking at about four feet. Her luxurious hair was a beautiful shade of red, and the girl's unlined face was quite young and comely. Her slender body was underdeveloped and boyish, but her radiant pink skin and brilliant green eyes made her very attractive. After spending over a month aboard a ship filled with hairy and smelly sailors, the little lovely in his cabin was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
When he worked up his courage he knocked on the door and asked if he could come in.
"Come in," came the nasal answer. "I'm decent."
When the Nobuyuki entered the room, the redhead was dressed in clothing more appropriate for a man than a woman, but given the rough and tumble environment of life aboard a ship he really couldn't blame her. Her long red hair was in wild curls but most of it was bound back in a luxurious ponytail that cascaded down her back like a crimson waterfall.
"Hello there M'lady," the captain greeted. "Welcome aboard the Pioneer. I'm Norbert Walton, the captain of this little ship, but after my last trip to Japan, everybody calls me 'Nobuyuki.' Who do I have the pleasure of addressing?"
"My name is Doctor Washu von Washustein," the girl replied. "Thanks for saving my skin, Cap'n. I owe you one."
"Any time," the captain laughed. "To be honest, I was going crazy out here hundreds of miles from the closest woman. Let's face it: having such a young and beautiful woman like you around here is a breath of fresh air."
"Well aren't you the charmer," Washu winked. "Do you say such nice things to all the girls, or just the ones that you spy on through the peephole?"
Nobuyuki blushed a deep red. "Er uh…"
"It's all right," Washu laughed at his embarrassment. "I've heard all about you sailors. I knew the risks when I came on board. So what are you doing out here anyway?"
Well…" Nobuyuki drew himself to his full height and grasped the lapels of his jacket proudly. "My crew and I hope to be the first ones to…"
"That's real interesting," Washu interrupted. "Who does a girl have to kill to get a drop of gin around here?"
"Oh," the captain blushed again. "Of course, you need something for circulation." He crouched by a chest and pulled out a brass key. "Just a minute, let me get you something."
"Thank you kind sir," Washu said in a high-pitched overly feminine voice. "I've always depended on the kindness of strangers…"
The captain smiled as he pulled out a bottle of vodka. This spirited woman had quite a sense of humor and was incredibly lively for one who had been traveling in this frozen wasteland. It was easy to fall in love with her.
"Here you go," he said as he poured some into a glass tumbler. "Let me find something to water it down with…"
His voice trailed off as she downed the alcoholic beverage in one great gulp. "Whew, that hits the spot," the little redhead said. "More please."
"Okay," he said warily. "Just don't accuse me of trying to get you drunk. So what's a pretty thing like you doing all the way out here anyway?"
Washu sighed and her boundless energy left her. "I suppose that you deserve to know Captain, but I doubt you'll believe me. You'll just say that I'm mad like all the others."
"Who cares?" he shrugged. "Some people think I'm crazy too. Let's hear it."
"I gotta warn you, it's a long story," she warned him as she collapsed into a chair.
"So what?" he shrugged as he pulled up a second chair and sat down. "Until the ice melts, we aren't going anywhere. I've got plenty of time. It will give us something to do in the meantime." His eyebrows waggled suggestively. "Unless there's something else you want to do in here, but I thought we should get to know each other first!"
"Why captain!" she cackled as she slapped his arm. "You're terrible! I ought to wash your mouth out with soap for saying that!"
"Yeah you should," he chuckled. "So, you were going to tell me what you were doing up here. It must be quite a story."
"I doubt Lemuel Gulliver had a story as bizarre as the one I'm about to tell," Washu said as her face sobered. "Honestly, you won't believe a word of it."
"Like you'll be the first person aboard a ship to tell tall tales," Nobuyuki smiled with gentle sarcasm. "It doesn't matter if I believe it or not, I want to hear it. Anything to hear that beautiful voice of yours…"
"Huh?" Washu blinked. "You think that my voice is beautiful?"
"Are you kidding?" he smiled. "Compared to the guys on this ship, you've got the face and voice of an angel."
"All right," the redhead blushed, "but you gotta let me tell my story without judging me. I don't know what would be worse, for you to believe me or for you not to believe me."
"Come on, little Washu, tell me!" Nobuyuki jumped up and down in his chair like an impatient little boy.
"All right, keep your shirt on," the petite woman scolded. "I come from Geneva, Switzerland. I was born to a wealthy family and attended the finest schools. It was obvious from the beginning that I was destined to become an incredible genius."
"Really?" Nobuyuki prodded. "So what did you do? Teach yourself to read at age two?"
"Well, most parents don't have a little girl who has finished reading Isaac Newton's Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica by age four," Washu admitted. "That really marks a child as 'different'."
"I guess so," the captain nodded.
"And by age six I was making corrections," she added. "Still want to hear my story?"
"Are you kidding?" the captain laughed, "I wouldn't miss this for all of the tea in China!"
"Okay don't say that I didn't warn you," she sighed. "When I was eight, I attended Goldstadt Medical College at the University in Ingolstadt in Bavaria as a student. By the time I was twelve I had doctorates in both medicine and chemistry. They offered me a professorship and I accepted."
"A professorship?" Nobuyuki gasped in disbelief. "To a woman? To a twelve-year-old girl?"
"Hey, you said that you weren't going to judge me until after I was finished," Washu said testily.
"Sorry, please go on," the captain put up a placating hand.
"Okay," Washu grumbled. "Where was I? Oh yes, there I was, a young innocent professor working on discovering the secret of life itself and beating God at his own game when a man walked into my life… One of my students, Tenchi Mancini… It was at that time that my life changed forever…"
"A man?" Nobuyuki asked. "Sounds juicy. Did you two fall in love?"
"Yes, but alas it didn't last," Tears formed in Washu's eyes as she admitted this. She looked away and stared at the wood burning stove that was heating the cabin. "I can still remember the day we broke up like it was yesterday. He broke my little heart but I didn't give up on him… I vowed to prove myself and get him back, no matter what the cost…"
Next: Breaking Up is Hard to Do
