Notes: This was written for a friend of mine. You know who you are! I tried to keep Sasuke as in character as possible so if I failed I apologise.
Song: Self Inflicted by Smile Empty Soul.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto characters. If I did, the show would be very different.
Warnings: Cutting, blood, slight NaruSasu, angst,
Self Inflicted
Sasuke shuddered in relief as his razorblade caressed his skin. He pushed the shiny weapon into his scarred arm, biting his lip. Holding his breath, he watch the blood rise to the opening of his wound and trickle out leaving a path of red.
You see these cuts and bruises
Isn't this all so amusing
I feel the emptiness of just another day in hell
Sasuke exhaled. He stroked his arms slowly shivering slightly at the unevenness of his marred skin. It looked beautiful to him. Strange, how something that could be so grotesque to someone else was such a beautiful expression of pain to Sasuke. He couldn't live without it.
My life is so confusing
Do this to myself I'm losing
I guess I'm only proving what every one can see but me
Sasuke smiled, cutting another horizontal line parallel to the first one. He always cut ten on each arm. Ten was always a good number, unless he felt particularly bad, then it was more. Twenty, maybe thirty, fifty, one hundred. Never less than ten. He cut again. Three.
And I wont let myself be happy
I cut myself just to feel the pain
Blood was beginning to seep into the carpet. Sasuke hadn't thought this through, it was going to be a nightmare to clean and a lot to explain to Naruto. Four. Naruto was so good to him. He never judged, he never once asked Sasuke to stop hurting himself. Naruto was very understanding, indeed, Sasuke had never seen Naruto act so mature. Naruto was the only one who understood. It was either this or death.
And I wont give up anything for you
I'm going down and no one can save me
Five. Sasuke winced. That one was deeper than intended, the scar will be raised and purple. Sasuke couldn't help but feel a little pleased at this. The raised purple scars were his favourite. He could still feel the pain. Not the physical pain, that was good. The pain in his heart, it wasn't numb enough yet. Six.
I am cold my legs are shaking
There's no hope right now I'm begging
Just one sign to show me someone out there really cares
Deeper. They need to be deeper. Sasuke's arm was shaking. It's so good. He needed more. Seven. That one was even deeper, the blood took a few seconds to surface.
My clothes are soaked up crying
There's no doubt I know I'm dying
I did this to myself and that's the part I cant believe
Eight. There was a dark patch of red on the carpet. Sasuke sighed. Nine. Biting his lip again, he took a couple of seconds to once again admire the state of his arms. What a beautiful mess.
These cuts and bruises are all self inflicted
Ten. The deepest cut so far. That one was going to be difficult to stop bleeding. Sasuke closed his eyes, feeling the drops of red steadily run down his arm and drip to the floor. Now the other arm…
And I wont let myself be happy
I cut myself just to feel the pain
And I wont give up anything for you
I'm going down and no one can save me
I'm going down and no one can save me
