A/N: I know I'm starting a lot of new stories lately. It's a good thing. I know that I had a story already about Jacob's fate after Eclipse, but I like to make plenty different scenerios.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

The Protective or the Protector?

Chapter 1 - Protective

Bella's POV

I found it very hard to sleep that night. I lay there in Edward's cold, strong arms, my eyes closed. Physically, I appeared to be sound asleep, but my mind was working non-stop. I found myself reflecting on the past, on the decision I'd made. I promised myself that it was for real this time, absolute and final. So why was I still thinking about it? Edward was all I wanted. I wanted to join his wonderful family, and be with him for the rest of eternity. We had worked so hard to get where we were. I was going to marry him in a week. Everything was said and done. Maybe it was just cold feet. Everyone gets them. I tried not to think about it, but I found it hard to do. I felt absolutely selfish, and guilty. How could I be changing my mind now? I couldn't be! I promised Edward that I was one hundred percent sure of my decision. That there was nothing to consider. But I found myself constantly trying to convince myself that more than Edward.

I was glad that Edward couldn't read my mind. I don't know what he would have thought of me if he knew what I was thinking.

I thought about Jacob. My former best friend, who held the other half of my broken heart. I convinced myself that I was over him. If that was so, why was I thinking about him? I had already said goodbye. It was done, over with. No, it never would be. He would always be a permanent mark on my life. It was impossible to think otherwise. I knew that I loved him. But I shouldn't. No. I told myself. You love Edward too. But did I really love him more? That was the question. I had said it many times before, but did I really mean it.

Edward Cullen was absolutely perfect. He was inhumanly beautiful, talented in almost everything, and had the sneaky ability to dazzle me. He dazzled everyone, though he never thought so. Was I any different than anyone else who gawked at Edward Cullen? Or was I really in love? Edward could easily make any girl fall in love with him, was I any different? The only thing that made me sure I wasn't only fooling myself was the fact I only had to trust, Edward loved me too. Well, I still wasn't sure if I was only fooling myself. Edward was..too perfect. I had to ask myself if he was actually real at times. How could it possibly work out for us? No matter how in love with him I was, I could never possibly measure up to him. He made me feel ashamed of myself at many times. The way he constantly forgave me, showed constant mercy and compassion, and was totally flawless. Did I really want to feel like that all the time?

That was only one of the cons to being with Edward. There was also the fact that I never really felt like myself around him. I felt myself constantly trying to dazzle him. Though that was virtually impossible. Should I really bother hurting myself anymore by really trying?

Edward was also really over-protective at times. He would never really let me meake a free decision for myself without having a discussion about it. He always had to know where I was or what I was doing. It really irritated me at times. Would I be able to stand the suffocation forever? It was only a matter of time before I would slip.

Last but not least, if I stayed with Edward I would give up…everything. Charlie Renee, and…..Jacob. And my humanity for that matter. Was it really worth it? Edward was really apposed to the idea of me becoming a vampire. There it was again. The suffocation. There is a fine line between being protective or a protector. Edward was always protective, but Jake was more my protector. But which one did I want more? No. Which one did I need more?

A/N: I am doing another chapter after this one. This time she thinks about Jake. And afterwards, she makes her decision. Which one do you think she'll choose?

REVIEWERS GET COOKIES AND BROWNIES!