Ah, Glee, you finally managed to make me a writer. After "On My Way" I just had to get this out. Felt like this was exactly the kind of story you wanted us to write during the hiatus.
So I've just signed up to . I don't have a beta-reader and I'm not even a native speaker, so please help me fix any mistakes.
And Fox/Ryan Murphy/anyone else who actually holds any rights to Glee: If you read this, please be kind. I'm not trying to steal your property or make any money of your characters. Just trying to get out of my head what you put in there.
They're all looking at me like I'm being crazy. Like I should just get over it and get married without her in attendance. How can they even expect that? Now that I've finally convinced her that I mean it, that Finn is the one for me and will be forever and ever. Now that she has finally agreed to grace my big day with her presence. It wouldn't even be fair to go ahead without her now, don't they see that?
But it's not really even about that. Even before, the only thing that could make me doubt my decision was the thought that she might not be there for the event. I cannot imagine looking back on my wedding day and having no memory of her face when I say "I do", her voice wishing me all the best, her joining our wedding dance with Puck or Mr. Shu or just anybody, as long as I get to exchange our special kind of supportive glances with her over Finn's shoulder.
I don't think I can do it without her, but now it's suddenly "now or never", and I'm on the brink of a panic attack. And she still hasn't responded to my texts. "Do you think something might have happened to her?" Everyone is looking at me even more weirdly. "Rachel, Quinn may just not really want to watch the two of us get married." Is Finn really trying to sound reasonable? He doesn't get it at all. Quinn and I, we have become actual friends, we share a kind of understanding that, honestly, I don't even have with him. She would never just bail on me like this. She wouldn't.
"But we're losing our slot. Rachel, you gotta decide now." I know, I know. But I can't. Everyone's looking at me expectantly. Finn: urging. Kurt: confused. Santana: OK, she's always sarcastic. Mercedes: She obviously doesn't understand. I have been going on and on about how Finn and I are meant for each other, how I'm ready to start the rest of our lives together. This is the fairytale wedding I have been dreaming of ever since I can remember. And now I'm suddenly going to forsake my chance just because Quinn is not here? Quinn, my torturer since freshman year, the woman who has always tried to keep me from my man. I suppose it does sound crazy. But that doesn't stop me from feeling absolutely torn right now.
I cannot decide this. Not right now. I need more time. Just until she answers. She'll be here, I know it. Maybe not. Not in time. "Rachel!" Finn is tugging on my arm. And suddenly I'm in the hallway, with everyone crowding behind me. Finn is still leading me. And I'm looking at my phone every second. Every half second. Why doesn't she answer? This can't be happening. It's all wrong.
Then we're at the Justice of the Peace's office. I don't want to go in there. I won't. Oh god, I think I'm starting to cry. But Finn has already opened the door.
We have rehearsed the ceremony, so it seems I am able to keep up without being consciously aware of my surroundings. I still peep down at my phone every chance that I get, though. Still, when it suddenly does go off, it's a shock. I'm on my knees immediately to retrieve the dropped device. "Quinn! Where are you? Why didn't you answer? Please hurry! Quinn! Oh my god, we had to start without you, I'm so sorry – " And there they are again, the tears in my eyes. I'm shaking, even my voice sounds all squeaky.
But the voice on the other end isn't Quinn's. It's a male voice, sounding forcedly calm. "Miss, calm down, Miss. You really need to calm down before I can tell you this." My mind goes blank at that. "Rachel? What is it? Rachel, you're white as a sheet." Finn is kneeling next to me, holding the hand that isn't clutching the phone. "I'm calm now", I whisper into the phone, betraying my true feelings with a trembling exhalation.
