Hey everyone! This is my first phanfiction, so please feel free to leave constructive criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Dan's Point of View

I jolt awake from my peaceful slumber. I feel uneasy, and I feel as if the walls are closing in faster than I can catch my breath. I can't breathe. I'm hyperventilating, I need to get out of here.

I stumble through the dark, regretting that I didn't bother to turn my lamp on. What time is it? I make my way to the hallway, tripping over my own two feet and landing on my knees, silent tears streaming down my face. What is going on? Why do I feel like this?

I'm a 27 year old man, I shouldn't cry. No tears. Yet I can't stop the salty drops water-falling down my face. It's all just too much, I don't know what to do. What if I lose Phil?

I hear a switch come on in the room next to me. I seem to have fallen directly outside of Phil's office, where he was up late filming a video. I don't want him to see me like this, but I really need him right now.

"Dan?" I hear to my left, before Phil slowly opens the door. It creaks open, but I keep my head down. I don't want him to see my puffy eyes or my flushed cheeks, I don't want him to think I am weak.

"Dan what are you doing on the floor? Is everything alright?" He says, kneeling down to my level as I sniffle. "Hey, look at me." Phil puts his hand gently under my chin, raising my head to meet his eyes.

I still get lost in his eyes after all these years. I remember looking into them when he told me he loved me years ago, I remember how the blue-ish green in his eyes sparkled when he smiled. I love how his eyes crinkle up when he laughs. I love that no matter what you're talking about, his gaze always manages to stare deep below the surface and make your stomach do flips. I love his eyes, and his lips, and him. I love Phil Lester.

"Dan?" He snaps in front of my face. I must have zoned out. "Are you okay? You're breathing really fast. What's happened?" He wipes a tear from my pink cheeks, and I tell him about my nightmare.

"We were in the kitchen talking like we always do, but this time it just, I don't know, it didn't feel right. You told me we needed to talk, and you said you cheated on me..." I choked out a sob and covered my mouth, partially from the thought of that happening, but more so from the embarrassment of telling Phil about my dream. He must be thinking so low of me right now.

"Dan, you know I would never do that to you, ever. I'm sorry about your dream, but I can assure you that you are the love of my life. That will never change. One day we're going to get married, you know. We'll get out of this tiny little flat and have a backyard and get a dog or something." I chuckled at that last part, my breathing slowing down.

How does he manage to calm me down this easily? He has that impact on me, when he enters a room he makes me feel instantly calmer, yet I still get nervous around him. He makes me feel butterflies, yet he makes me feel perfectly at home. It's like everything he does makes me feel everything I've felt for him since the beginning all over again.

"Phil?" I ask, my voice sounding sad and pathetic. I'm getting tired, the adrenaline of the dream might have woken me up, but I still wish I were asleep.

"Yes, my bear?" He replies. That's my favorite name he calls me. Babe is pretty generic, and anything else makes me feel a little awkward sometimes, but bear is cute.

"Can we have a chat? It's important."

"Of course Dan. But can we move up off the floor? Not that I don't want to have deep conversations on the hallway floor at three in the morning with you, but I want you to relax, so maybe we can lay down in our room?"

"Yeah, let's go."

Phil stood up first and gave me his hand, helping me to my feet. We walked hand in hand back to our bed. Phil lays down in the middle of the bed and pats next to him, guiding me to lay next to him. I sit down and pull the covers over me. Phil takes his shirt off and pulls my head to his chest.

He knows I like to hear his heart beat. He knows I like to feel the warmth of his bare skin. He knows I want to match my breathing to his, he knows I like to feel his chest rise and fall. He knows that this brings me comfort, and he didn't even think twice about taking this position.

I didn't even have to ask. I love him

He starts to run his fingers through my curly hair and I start to trace random patterns on his chest with my fingertips. "What would you like to talk about love?" He gently presses his lips to the top of my head, leaves them their for a few seconds, pulls away and brushes some hair out of my face.

"I just need to rant. I've been pretty anxious lately, and I don't know why. Maybe it's all the work I've been drowning in. Uploading everyday for Christmas is so much fun, but editing all the footage is exhausting. If I have to watch myself act like I'm not totally in love with you for another minute I'm going to explode." I sigh after I say this, I continue to outline the shape of a star on his chest. Up, down, over, cross, down, repeat. It's soothing.

"I understand how you feel," he pauses, trying to formulate his response. "But on the bright side, we get to spend so much time together filming for the next month! If we need to make videos everyday, we need to film a lot, which means being together for so many hours. And you know there's nothing I love more than being able to watch you be yourself." I tilt my head up to look at him. I wish I could communicate how much he means to me, but he's so much better with words than I am.

"Phil?'

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"Please Dan, I would do anything for you. Thank you for communicating with me, I know we can get through this anxiety you're feeling. We'll do it together, bear." He lays another kiss on top of my head, one on my forehead, one on my nose, and then finally meets his lips to mine.

When we kiss it feels as if I'm at home. I reach my hands up to his neck, turning over to straddle him. He runs his hands through my hair and smiles into the kiss.

He bites my lip playfully, and giggles when I peck him on the nose. I give him a quick kiss on his lips, again, again, and again, attacking him with pecks and pull him into a sitting position. We both laugh.

When we quiet down Phil asks "How far are you wanting to go tonight?", looking from my eyes to my hair to my nose to my lips, and then biting my neck.

"Can you just hold me tonight? We can shower each other with kisses and stuff, I'm just not in the mood." I bite my lip awkwardly, hoping that I haven't upset him or lead him on.

"That's totally okay, Dan. It sounds perfect. Come here," He pulls my head back to his chest, and he whispers to me, as he does every night, "remember that I love you. Remember that you are worth so much. Remember that you are my one and only, never doubt it. I love you, bear."

A smile spreads across my face and I whisper back to him, as I do every night, "Goodnight my Phil, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. See you in my dreams."

We fall asleep in each others arms a few moments later. I'm glad I get to share these moments with him, he makes me feel special. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.