I throw my hood back un-tucking my long blonde hair from underneath my baggy clothes to on top of my poncho and let it fall over my face. I like to think of myself as a cautious person maybe a bit too eager to please always doing what's expected of me, bit of a doormat really, not that there's anything wrong with that.
I look up from the address I scribbled on a scrap of paper seeing a cat on the roof above the building staring at me I smile it held my gaze for a beat and then slinked out of sight. I walk up to the door of the eccentric, ramshackle home that stood out amongst all the other neat, well-kept houses. I ring the bell and stand back on the lawn where the grass has grown high there was a climbing cat statue over on the shingles underneath the sign by the door: "Feline Rescue Society."
A woman opens the door on a chain she's about seventy maybe a former academic looks intelligent but she was quite intimidating. "Yes?"
"Hi, Edna Powers?" off her nod I continue "I'm Spencer Carlin, I called about adopting a cat?"
"Oh yes, do come inside." She undoes the chain and opens the door for me.
I take off my poncho and she gives me a pen to fill out a questionnaire on a clipboard, numerous cats were roaming the premises, there was feline artwork and curios, scratching posts, furry toys it was cat paradise. Made me feel guilty I was taking one away from here.
Edna was putting out dry cat food in numerous bowls. "Um, some of these questions are kind of personal. Do you really need to know how many, um, partners I've had in the past year?"
She turned to me and smiled "Don't worry I'm not interested in your love life. But I do want to know what sort of home environment you're offering, your degree of commitment..."
I force a laugh "Guess I wouldn't need the cat if..." I trail off filling in the zero fills and pass the clipboard back to Edna. The woman puts down the cat food, slips on the reading glasses she wears on a chain around her neck.
"The application is mostly a formality. I have a sense about people."
"Well, I've always liked animals." She didn't say anything so I continued "Cats specifically. I mean, I love them, worship them, even."
She seemed satisfied and returned to reading my answers a cat coming my way catches my attention, slim, elegant, dark-spotted gray and black fur peering curiously at me, I dangle my hand invitingly he rubs his face against my hand I smile and was petting at him when he grabbed my hand hard in his claws. I stifle a yelp and yank my hand back.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing handsome cat you have there. I've never seen one like him." The cat jumps into my lap, settling in. Edna looked surprised and almost suspicious as she eyed the cat.
"Her. That's Midnight, an Egyptian Mau. Normally she doesn't trust people" She reaches a hand toward the cat when she does her fur stands up, she hisses and swipes at Edna. My eyes widen, now I'm slightly scared of the creature sitting in my lap with her sharp claws and her pointy teeth. "See? Even I can't get near her, very strange." She glances back at the application "You left out your parents' address."
"Well... they're both dead."
She smiled sadly "No hereditary illnesses, I hope."
"Actually it was a private plane crash. I was eleven. Actually, the last thing they gave me was a kitten I called him Fatso."
She sucked in a breath at his insulting name. "He was very round, not from overfeeding or anything, just really, he didn't mind. Anyway, he was with me a long time, till early this year when he didn't come at the sound of the can-opener, which kind of freaked me out I found him just, curled up there in his little bed..." I explained myself getting a bit emotional.
Edna reached across and squeezed my hand, with genuine sympathy as Midnight snuggled into my lap, purring as I stroked her head lightly.
"It's very hard dear. I know you must be in so much pain." Midnight digs her long nails into my thigh, kneading, I wince and try to dislodge cat's claws from my leg as Midnight 'playfully' attacked my hand.
I gasp "Mm-hmm."
"Funny how cats get under our skin, they do exactly as they please they don't care what anyone thinks about them, they're the ultimate predators. So self-contained, so independent, so wild, sometimes I wonder, why do they even put up with us?"
I laughed "The free food?"
"Well, congratulations. It seems you've been chosen." She says putting the papers aside.
"So you think you might have a kitten for me?" i smiled excited
"A kitten? No, that wouldn't be appropriate. Midnight has chosen you."
I turn back at the cat in my lap rolling on her back baring her fangs at me, I gotta admit I'm little unnerved at this.
"It's a great honour Maus are a very rare breed descended from the sacred cats of ancient Egypt. They were believed to have magical gifts." Midnight wrapped herself around my arm kicking and biting.
"I'm not sure she likes me"
"Nonsense, she perceives something very special in you. Cats see things we don't, our secret selves our souls."
"Mm. Do you have any plasters?"
-x-
I arrive home not believing I'd actually let that crazy old lady sell me her meanest cat, I tuned when I heard a crash Midnight had jumped onto my picture table by the couch and was attacking a picture of Fatso, swiping it onto the floor.
I pick up the photo and place it back on the table heading back into my bedroom to change into a T-shirt and shorts I go and grab some ice cream then plonk myself on the couch to watch TV eating the chocolate ice cream directly from a pint carton not caring if it smears around my mouth.
Suddenly, Midnight pounces at my spoon I jerk back startled raising the spoon out of reach. Oh no you don't this is mine!" she doesn't back off though jumping repeatedly at the spoon, climbing over me getting a rear paw in the open pint.
"Oh, gross, you just take it." I offer the cat the half-empty pint and she digs in happily, burying her head in the container.
I notice the lights come on in the apartment across the way I hesitate only an instant before sticking the spoon in my mouth and turning off the TV and the lamp by the sofa.
I watch through the window as I see her, the beautiful brunette that lived there I didn't even know her name she crossed past the window I move closer for a better view. This voyeurism was becoming a guilty habit.
She checked her mail unbuttoning her shirt "Welcome home, sweetie. How was work today...?" I mumble to myself. I giggle "Come on, you, off with the shirt." Instead she moved out of view I move in the same direction into my bathroom.
My bedroom window faces her bedroom I watch as she glances casually out the window, I immediately duck out of sight a moment later I rise slowly to peek out again but she has turned off the light.
I amble towards my bathroom and study my face in the mirror. "Lame, lame, lame." I wipe a bit of chocolate from the corner of my mouth and try a seductive pout giving my hair a seductive toss it winds up in my eyes and mouth.
I sigh and snuggle into my bed falling asleep fast.
-x-
I walk through my work building to the upstairs offices where I work it's an assault on the senses there's mirrors everywhere, oversized versions of the beauty products on posters, charts of colour choices, shelves upon shelves of slickly-packaged cosmetics.
The hip music in the background as the make-up artist girls perfectly coiffed and made-up Barbie dolls busily paint the faces of clients women of all ages and backgrounds in high-tech make-up chairs that resemble torture devices.
I cross through pausing to take off my converse and pull on a pair of high heels. Sally, my best friend looks up to greet me dressed in a prim outfit, working on a matronly customer. She notices the small scratch on my cheek that Midnight kindly gave me this morning I'd poorly covered it with makeup.
"Look what the cat dragged in."
"I know, I know, I'm late" I touched my cheek "Midnight thought there was a mouse in my pillow or something"
"This is why I only live with my own species. Do you want to get lunch at Joey's?" I nod and wave as I rush through the main set of doors to the elevator bank.
I reach the rat's maze of office cubicles, peopled with accounting staff just in time flying to the kitchen to get coffee. It's a grim little space, enlivened by my Garfield toy and some New Yorker cartoons.
I'm so bored by the drone of this work I stumble through the day double checking data in print-outs among long lists of figures and series of numbers.
I get up quickly with the printouts spilling a few drops of coffee on my white blouse I grab a tissue and dab at the stain trying desperately not to make it worse.
The end of the day came around soon enough I look in disgust at the massive pretty girl poster on the wall beside the down button as I push it. The doors open and the girl on the poster was in there startling me slightly, I take a half-step forward and hesitate, reluctant to get aboard, frozen in place. The doors start to close, then open again I realise I'm in the way.
"In or out?" pretty girl says as I meekly step into the elevator, pressing the button for the lobby, nervously keeping my eyes fixed to the front. She leans past me to hit "Door close" she sniffs and stifles a sneeze looking me over, and clearly doesn't like what she sees.
"Do you know who I am?" she sneered
"Um of course you're the face of the company, you're Lauren Coarser"
"Are you familiar with our products? You can afford some peroxide, can't you? Do something about that mousy hair she runs a hand distastefully through my hair taking a moment to study me. "Stain on your blouse, run in your pantyhose and that colour's awful on you." She fingers my outfits "Do you own an iron? Show me your hands." I extend my shaking hands and she inspects my trembling fingers she seems saddened clucking her tongue. "A nail-biter huh, you really are the 'before' picture, aren't you? What's your name?"
"S...S...Spencer"
She taps her foot "I haven't got all day"
"No, my name's Spencer. Spencer Carlin. I'm in accounting."
She sighs "I'm afraid that's no excuse. Regardless of your position, you do represent this company. I simply can't allow that to continue."
"Wait. You're not firing me are you?" I started to panic
"I have no choice. All we have to sell is an image and you are not it. I'll have it seen to that you've got to go." The door opens and I stare after her in disbelief.
-x-
I meet up with Sally to tell her my news we sit in a booth over and order our burgers. Sally leans across the table to fixing my make-up I'm sure my mascara's run from crying I'm probably all blotchy and red right now.
"I try, Sally, I really do. I read Vogue, I wear uncomfortable shoes. I've been a female all my life you'd think I'd be better at it by now." I frowned frustrated
"Hey now watch the frown lines or you'll need a lift before you're forty." She laughed
"But Lauren's right I'm not even presentable enough to be an accountant. Maybe the church needs a new bell ringer."
"Look, she was just in a bad mood. Sales are down and her marriage is on the rocks"
I giggled that's what I call Karma "How do you even know that?"
"I have an enquiring mind." She opens a tube of lipstick. "This colour is "Nympho," very hot, I snagged it from the showroom" she started to apply it expertly to my lips as she speaks "She's losing her looks she's dumber than her mini dog buzz is and the company is trading her in for next year's model. All I'm saying is, by now she's probably forgotten about canning you."
"I don't care. No way am I going back there." I sighed
"Shut up, you'll smear... voila, now suck your finger." I put my finger in my mouth pulling it out with a pop to keep the lipstick off my teeth. I study the residue on her finger.
"I can't believe we put this stuff on our mouths. Grease, acid and ground-up fish scales... who knows what they put in our mascara"
Sally burst out laughing "It's no wonder you never made it in sales. Come on let's make a move" we stand and walk out of the restaurant.
We walk past a jewellery display Sally sees a ritzy diamond necklace she presses her face against the window, beaming. "Wow... sorry Spence, I just found a new best friend."
I whistle appreciatively "I'm sick of drooling over things I'll never have." We continue our window shopping on the way home passing a shoe store with amazing boots and high-heels. Past a Western wear shop with belt buckles and whips.
"Oh, you're a ray of sunshine today. Tell you what, let me take you clubbing this weekend"
I shrugged "I'm not sure I'm fit to be seen in public."
"You will be in that dress. I've had my eye on it for weeks." She winked and pointed to something in a window of a trendy boutique to a mannequin garbed in a dramatic sexy outfit, a short bodice, a tiny skirt, plenty of plastic skin showing."
I laughed "Sally, that is not a dress, it's a rumour of a dress. It's barely forensic evidence of a dress. Most of all it's not me."
"But don't you ever wanna be somebody else?"
"I just wish I could be ten years old again it didn't matter what I wore as long as I could climb a tree in it." Sally just pulled a face.
"Your tomboy days are over."
I see my bus pull into the stop "That's my bus, Sal, see you later." I trot towards the bus
Sally called after me "At the weekend Spencer I swear I'm gonna make you have fun if it kills you"
-x-
I'd gone food shopping on my way and now I regretted it as I move to my apartment door, arms loaded with shopping bags. I struggle to unlock the door while keeping them upright, I finally get it open and as soon as the door is open Midnight bolts out into the hall, a black streak moving toward the stairs and darting upward.
"Ah, Midnight you little monster!" I toss my groceries in the door, leaving it ajar so I don't have to lock it back up and run after the cat that's vanished up the stairs when I reach the top of the stairs Midnight makes for an open hall window that leads onto the fire escape I only just spots her heading outside.
"Oh no..." I reach the window just in time to see Midnight make a spectacular leap across the alleyway and land on the balcony opposite
I was annoyed but also impressed in spite of myself. "Hell of a jump"
I clumsily clamber up the rattling fire escape reaching the level Midnight is on moving toward the cat. "You are not worth the trouble" I mumble to myself as I reach out to try and grab her. Suddenly a window bursts open just a foot away and a gun points straight in my face. I let out a cry and jump back
"Freeze!" It's too late I lose my balance and fall off the balcony into an open dumpster below.
I look up from where I lay it was the pretty brunette she darts from the window alarmed great I probably look like a right weirdo now I painfully get upright but slip in the trash just as the pretty brunette appears.
"Oh my god, are you all right?" she clambers onto the dumpster's edge to help me out I grab hold of her hand slipping and sliding almost pulling her in too. "I'm really sorry, I'm a police officer, I heard the noise and just assumed... here, grab my arm." She manages to hoist me to the lip so I'm able to climb to the ground. Standing up I try to shake it off drenched in gooey garbage I just stare at her a bit dazed from the fall. I can't believe I'm face to face with the woman of her dreams and I'm covered in rubbish!
She looked straight back at me "Um, Habla espaƱol?" I blink confused when she tentatively started flashing a few hand signs for the deaf.
I shake my head focusing to wave her off "No, I um see, my cat got out" just then Midnight mews and rubs against my leg I pick her up nodding toward my window. "I live right up there"
"I know." She says quickly
"You do?"
"I mean, I... I've seen you around." She blushed slightly
I smile "Really. Actually, I've seen you too. Around, that is." I nod toward the dumpster "Thanks for helping me out."
"Don't mention it. I can't resist a damsel in distress. I'm Ashley, Ashley Davies"
I smile and cocking my head trying to be flirtatious "I'm Spencer Carlin" I say running a hand through my hair when it hits me I just got out of a dumpster I pull out some sticky tissue paper looking at it with disgust. "Oh God, what - what is that?"
I toss it back in the dumpster finally registering that I'm completely drenched in wet slimy garbage. "I'm sorry, it was nice talking to you, but - I'm completely disgusting." Mortified I hurry back to the entrance to my building.
-x-
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