A/N: Ah my first ever Shugo Chara fic! Please go easy on me, thank you! Either way, not sure how long it took me to type this but it took me till 7 am, amazing isn't it? Warning slightly OOC-ish Rima! Either way happy holidays and review kudasai(please)!
Confession
This was the worst, the absolute worst. It was dark, and gloomy, and yet for some reason this sensation felt nice. She shook her head furiously, it wasn't supposed to be nice, and it was supposed to be terrible.
Nagihiko looked at Rima, blinking as the blonde shook her tiny head over and over again, Kusukusu just giggled as usual.
"Rima-san?"
Rima stopped shaking her head the moment she heard Nagihiko call her name, she wanted to get this feeling out of her chest. This guy standing next to her was supposed to be her enemy. But why was Nagihiko, Rima's enemy? This fact is unknown to Nagihiko, as Rima is very shy when it comes to voicing her concerns and opinions. The reason she holds a grudge towards the boy was simply because he was the twin brother of Nadeshiko, Amu's best friend.
Rima did indeed consider herself Amu's best friend, Amu has confirmed this. But she never did consider the possibility of Amu having two best friends. The idea never even crossed Rima's mind, only questions remained as to what Nadeshiko was like, and how close she was to Amu.
One of Rima's bad qualities was her competitiveness, Nagihiko without saying a word to Rima since the first time they met could sense this.
But the last thing Nagihiko wanted to do was other then make Rima hate him more was to tell her that he was really Nadeshiko. That Nadeshiko never "really" existed, that he had no twin sister, that she was just something required of him. Nagehiko could never tell Amu, not after how close they were when he was a girl. He could never tell Rima, not because it would seem like she "won" but because of another secret he himself wasn't sure he would say. That is, other than wanting to just become friends with Rima, he wanted something more than just friendship; the fact was he liked Rima.
If he has the courage to tell her he was Nadeshiko, how would Rima feel? Would she hate him more? Would she be disgusted? It was amazing to him, that Kukai didn't mind when Tadase told him Nadeshiko was really him. But how would Yaya or Amu react? How would they react when they found out their friend Nadeshiko was really a guy and that Nadeshiko didn't exist. How would Amu, feel? Even though Amu, seemed to be friends with him, that would never replace the bond that she and Nadeshiko had. Thinking back on this, it made him wonder, that if Amu was upset by this wouldn't he hurt Rima too? Wouldn't he be hurting not only his best friend but the girl he liked as well?
Suddenly snapping back to reality after a snowflake hit Nagehiko's nose. "Ah, cold." He whispered, Rima glanced at him for a brief moment then looked away.
"I guess it's going to snow." Nagihiko stated for conversation's sake.
"Yeah" Rima said, looking down at the ground, Kusukusu looked at Rima slightly concerned then at Nagihiko.
In hopes that when he was feeling was right, Nagihiko spoke, "You look like you want to say something?"
Rima looked at him, for some reason, she looked as though she was on the verge of tears, Nagihiko was surprised by this. She turned away so he couldn't see her face.
"What's Nadeshiko like?"
Nagihiko's heart rate began to rise, this was the question he feared most from Rima, the one thing he wished she would never, never, never bring up.
"W-why, do you ask?" He stuttered,
"You're her brother aren't you?" Rima said facing Nagihiko with a more determined look in her eyes that caused him to blush slightly.
"I…" He paused; he wasn't sure what to say, what was there to say really? Nadeshiko was him; they shared the same interests, ideas, and skills. What was there to say other then talk about himself. But Rima knows what Nagihiko was like, wouldn't that mean he was talking about himself while he's supposed to talk about Nadeshiko. He had to lie, it was his only option, as much as he didn't want to, he had no choice.
"I…don't remember." He whispered as a sweat drop rolled down his chin as he looked away from Rima with a hurt glance towards the ground.
"How can you not know, she's your sister."
"I haven't seen her in a long time…when I got back to Japan, she had left for Europe." He stated.
"You haven't seen her since." Rima asked, her eyes and expression softening.
"Yeah…"
After Nagihiko whispered his reply Rima looked away, she felt bad for asking Nagihiko a question like that. As much as she didn't like him because of his relation to Nadeshiko, the fact that she hurt him still remains. For some reason her heart seemed to ache a bit more.
"S-sorry…" Rima whispered looking away.
The two of them had stopped walking for sometime since Rima had brought up the topic, the snow began to fall softly. It slowly got tangled in Rima's golden locks, the ice crystals also found their way into Nagehiko's silky hair. Even so they continued to stand there, avoiding eye contact. Kusukusu by then had decided to hide in the bag Rima brought with her to the party.
After an eternity of silence, Nagihiko stepped closer to Rima, his shadow from the lamp post they stood under fell over the short girl like a veil. He put his hand on her shoulder then said to her without thinking, "Don't be sorry, I'm the one who should apologize." Rima stared at Nagihiko, she didn't move, and neither did he.
"Why?"
This snapped Nagihiko out of his regretful muse, realizing the mistake he had just made.
"Why do you need to apologize?" Rima asked repeating her question.
"I…"
Nagihiko couldn't bring himself to say it, he couldn't bring himself to tell the truth. The truth about him, the truth about Nadeshiko, the truth about everything he is, and everything that he was.
"It's nothing…"
Rima looked at Nagihiko, whom refused to meet her gaze. She glared at him, raising her voice slightly she replied, "you look like you have something to say." She shot back at him. Nagihiko felt that one, she was using his own words against him, he sighed. Was there any point in running away anymore? He screwed up, and he knew he would have to fess up eventually. He was going to hurt someone, he just wanted to lie to himself that he could get away with this lie. In the end that lie was just going to hurt him the most.
"Rima-san, there are two things I need to tell you…so do you mind if we get there late?" Nagihiko asked, Rima nodded in agreement.
Nagihiko sighed, this was it, there was no turning back now.
"Rima-san…one of things I want you to know… I know that this will change our relationship but then the second thing I need to tell you, means that what I'm about to tell you means I have nothing to lose…anyways I…wanted you to know…that…I…" Nagihiko paused, he could feel his heartbeat speed up, he felt that it would burst out of his chest, and that is was loud enough for Rima to hear.
Rima couldn't explain it either but for some reason she felt excited, maybe because Nagihiko was going to tell her something but she felt excited for some strange reason, she didn't know why. Lately she's been feeling like this, whenever she saw Nagihiko, her heart would race a bit.
"I…I like you, Rima-san…"
Rima blinked, she could feel her cheeks get warmer as she blushed a brilliant red, Nagihiko was also a bright red. Kusukusu could be heard giggling from within the bag, that Rima was about to drop from shock. Her heart rate suddenly quickened, she couldn't explain it, she was used to love confessions. She was used to this, she felt in-different to every boy who has ever told her this, yet why did she feel nervous? Why did she feel this way? But more importantly, why did she feel happy?
"I…"
"Don't say anything Rima-san…please." Nagihiko said quickly before Rima could finish her sentence. "I need to tell you the second thing."
"Second thing?" Rima questioned slightly dazed.
"Yes."
"Go…on." Rima whispered.
"I want to know one thing before I continue, I know it's obvious but, how do you feel about Nadeshiko?"
"Why?"
"I need to know…please, Rima-san. Please tell me." Nagihiko pleaded.
"I…don't like her."
"Why?"
"Because…because…" Rima stopped, she didn't realize that she was crying, that small tears had rolled down her cheeks along with snowflakes hitting her face.
"Rima-san…"
"Because…because…she's Amu's…Amu's…best fr-friend too…" Rima said as more tears began to fall down. Nagahiko didn't say anything else, he looked at Rima and moved his hand slowly to wipe the tears from her eyes. Rima flinched but she let him do this.
"It's ok, I understand." He soothed, pulling Rima into a hug. Rima didn't resist, she dropped her bag and let Nagihiko embrace her. Kusukusu looked on from the edge of the bag blushing slightly as Rima was being held by Nagihiko. Her blush deepened when she saw Rima hug back.
"I…was…"
"Don't talk anymore." Said Nagihiko. Rima nodded as she cried into his jacket. Nagihiko sighed as he ran his hand through Rima's wet curly hair in order to comfort the girl.
After a bit Rima finally calmed down and stopped crying, she let go of Nagihiko and he did the same. She blushed realizing she was holding on to him, and that he saw her cry.
"I…want you to continue with…what you were saying." She said in order to forget her embarrassment.
Nagihiko forgot about the confession until Rima reminded him, he was hoping that she would forget but she didn't however.
"Right…um to tell you the truth Rima-san, I know this will sound weird and maybe kind of gross…but…Nadeshiko…is…" Once again Nagihiko paused bracing himself. Rima looked at him, her full attention on the boy.
"Nadeshiko…is really…me. I'm- I'm Nadeshiko."
Rima stared at Nagihiko, "what did you say?"
"I'm Nadeshiko…Nadeshiko and me are the same person."
"Your Nadeshiko?"
"Yes."
Rima fell silent, the person in front of her, was Nadeshiko. The person she hated was in front of her all this time. The person she was competing against, was here. The person who made her feel a terrible pain in her heart. She didn't know why she felt this way, this feeling of betrayal. She didn't know why she was happy about Nagihiko's confession, she didn't know why she felt hurt by his statement. She shouldn't have cared about this, she never liked him in the first place.
"I… never liked you…in the first place." She said to herself quietly, unfortunately Nagihiko heard her.
"I know." He replied.
"I never liked you, then why…" Nagihiko looked at her slightly surprised.
"Then why…why does my chest hurt? Why…did I feel happy when you said you liked me? Why? Aren't I supposed to hate you?"
"I don't know…"
"Why?"
"I don't know Rima-san."
"I'm not supposed to like you, I'm not supposed to like you…your Nadeshiko…I'm supposed to hate her, because she's Amu's best friend. I thought…that I was her best friend…so then why does it hurt? Why?" Rima said loudly while tears flowed like rivers down her cheeks. Nagahiko did nothing but watch this time, he looked at her sadly.
"I…if you want…I'll stop being friends with Amu-chan."
Rima looked up at Nagihiko, he smiled sadly.
"If it will make you happy. I'll disappear, me and Nadeshiko will disappear."
"Disappear?"
"Yes, disappear."
"You can't do that."
"Why?" Questioned Nagehiko, looking slightly emotionless at Rima.
"Because… because Amu will be sad. She'll be sad if you're not there, if Nadeshiko isn't there."
"But she still has you."
Rima said nothing, this is what she wanted wasn't it? To be Amu's best friend, her one and only best friend. She wanted to be closest to Amu, she wanted to win. And she "won" she was the victor and she was declared Amu's best friend. Even though this is what she wanted, it still hurt, it hurt to see Nagihiko say this, it hurt to make him say those words.
That's when she realized it. Rima, was jealous of Nagihiko, no she was jealous of them both. They both met Amu before her, that would mean they were closer to her didn't it? She understood this was why she hated them, this is why she could never be friends with neither of them. This is what prevented everything, this is why she never understood that she too; she too liked Nagihiko.
"…don't disappear." She said though it was barely audible. Nagihiko looked at her, he smirked noticing this.
"You have something to say don't you?" His tone of voice sounding slightly cocky.
Rima blinked away the tears and she turned to him her eyes once again flashing with determination.
"Don't disappear!" She yelled,
"What?" Nagihiko said sounding surprised as he un-covered his ears.
"Don't disappear! Don't leave! Don't ever go away! Don't ever leave Amu alone again! Don't ever leave me alone!" She yelled.
"But I-" Rima quickly cut Nagihiko off,
"I was wrong."
"You didn't do nothing wrong." Nagihiko countered,
"I was jealous, of Nadeshiko, jealous of …both of you. I wanted… I wanted to be Amu's best friend, I wanted to be the person who was closest to her." Rima said quietly.
"I know that. But friendship cannot be measured." Rima looked at Nagihiko,
"I'm sure Amu-chan wanted both you and Nadeshiko as her best friends. I know Amu-chan loves you both." Nagihiko said with a smile, Rima didn't say anything. She looked at the ground, it was true that Amu loved them both but she was too blind to see it.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"
"It's ok."
"It's not ok! I was wrong! I was angry at you for nothing! I…" Rima paused then said something once again not audible.
"It's ok, Rima-san…it's ok…" Nagihiko said again pulling her into an embrace again. Rima didn't react like the first time. She wanted this, she wanted Nagihiko to say it was ok, even though she was wrong. Even though everything was a misunderstanding, even though it was all her fault. She just wanted him to say that, to forgive her, to say it was ok to make a mistake. This is what she truly wanted…
"Rima-san, I forgive you. And Nadeshiko does too."
"But your Nadeshiko."
"Even though were the same person, I feel like that were really not just the same person but also two different people. We both experienced different things, we both met different people. You made me realize that Nadeshiko is really here. That she really exists and will always be apart of me. And that we'll both love you and Amu-chan forever."
"Forever?"
"Yes, so please forgive us for lying?" Nagihiko asked Rima, as he lifted up her face so he they could meet each other's eyes.
"I will if you forgive me." She said smiling softly.
"Of course." Nagihiko said, as Rima put her arms around Nagihiko.
Both Nagihiko and Rima stayed that way as the snow continued to fall from the sky. They wanted to keep each other warm, after all the terrible thoughts and feelings they felt, right now they just wanted to feel nothing other than this bliss.
As though on cue, Rima's cellphone began to ring, Rima and Nagihiko looked at each other and laughed. Calming herself down, Rima picked up her cellphone while Nagihiko still held her by the waist.
"Hello?"
"Rima? Where are you? It's already 8."
"Amu, um we're coming."
"We're?"
"Bye." Rima said quickly closing the cellphone, automatically hanging up.
"Was that Amu-chan?" Asked Nagihiko, Rima nodded.
"Guess we better hurry." Nagihiko said laughing slightly as he picked up Rima's bag and handed it to her. Rima nodded in agreement.
"Do you mind if we run?"
"I want to take our time."
"But isn't Amu-chan and everyone else, waiting?"
Rima smiled, and slipped her hand into Nagihiko's. Nagihiko blushed at this sudden gesture, "Ri-rima-san…"
"I like you too." Rima whispered. Nagihiko's blushed deepened, as did Rima's.
"Rima-san…"
"I'm sorry I never noticed earlier." Nagihiko shook his head with a smile on his face.
"It's ok." He simply said, as he and Rima walked hand in hand towards their best friend's house. Where she and all their friends awaited so they could celebrate Christmas together.
A/N: Ah this was well worth staying up will 7 in the morning to write. I had fun with this, hope everyone else enjoyed it too! If I made any spelling/grammar mistakes please let me know. Thank you! Review kudasai (please)!
