DISCLAIMER: I do not own, never did, and don't plan to own the cast from Office Space. I know that in the movie Joanna didn't work at Initech, but in this story she does.
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I woke up feeling the same as I always do on Tuesday mornings, and proceeded to act out the mornings normal rituals; I got ready for work, made my coffee, gathered my things, got in the car and drove to the Initech building I worked at, squeezing into my cramped cubicle and doing hours of useless work.
But when I stepped into my cramped cubicle, I realized something wasn't right.
It took me a while to figure it out, but then I spotted it.
My chair was missing.
I placed my things in their proper positions around the tiny office and began to ponder the situation. I came up with 3 possibilities:
1. I could use a different chair, but my chairs the comfiest.
2. I could borrow a colleges chair thats as comfy as mine, but mine has special armrests.
3. I could walk around and quiz my fellow workers on the whereabouts of my chair, and disregard the fact that work must be done and I will probably get a few dirty looks/a lecture from my boss if he catches me.
Being the willful person I am, I chose option three, and started with the cubicle next to mine.
"Oh, hello Linda. You have the reports done already?"
"No, Joanna, I'm looking for my chair. Have you seen it around the building at all?"
"Oh, no, sorry. You can borrow one of mine if you like."
"No thanks, Joanna. See you later."
I walked away and heard her yell, "Don't forget the reports!"
Now to the next cubicle which belonged to my good friend Peter.
"Hey, Peter, have you seen my chair around the place anywhere?" I asked, walking into his cubicle, only to find it empty, an empty chip bag on his desk and a paused game of Tetris on the computer.
I sighed and decided I was getting nowhere. So I soon began just looking around random places; empty cubicles, conference rooms, bathrooms, and just any place I thought it might be.
I soon found myself in the storage basement of the office building, and found Milton, sitting at a desk with papers and garbage on his desk. He was muttering something unheard until I walked in.
"Umm, hey Milton. Have you seen my chair anywhere? I couldn't find it this morning."
"Umm, no. I haven't. B-but Bill came in and, and asked if I, if I had an extra chair this morning." He said.
"Thanks Milton."
I turned to go back up the stairs when he continued, "Wait. I need something back from, back from him too." He got out of his seat and followed me up to the tenth floor, and over three doors to Bill Lumberghs office, and knocked slowly.
It was opened by one of the secretaries and Bill was sitting at a desk across from the door... in my chair!
"Hey Bill. That's my chair, and I kinda need it back. So..."
"Uh, no. I, uh, need it right now for a meeting with the Bob's soon. Why don't you, uh, borrow one from Milton over here, mkay?" Bill nodded his head towards Milton, who was by the corner of Bills desk, eyeing the red Swingline stapler, muttering something about buildings and fire.
"But I need that chair to do work. So, can't you just borrow a chair from someone else?"
"Uh, yah, that would cause a lot of, uh, problems in the building, and your chair is the one I'm sitting in at the moment, so, if you could just leave now, and get back to your business, then everything will work out, mkay?"
I sighed. I knew this battle could not be won and started to walk out the door when Milton spoke.
"Um, ex-excuse me, but I believe you have my stapler."
"Come on Milton." I said and dragged him out.
"But my, my staplers in there and I need it back or I will have to, have to use the new Boston staplers but they bind up to much and what will I do with all those Swingline, all those Swingline staples that I kept and I said, I warned them that if, that if they moved my desk..."
"I..." I sighed. "I need an Asprin."
I walked off back to my cubicle leaving Milton muttering something about straws and fire.
By the end of the day, I still had not gotten my chair back from Bill and had to do the reports for Joanna on the cubicle floor. I packed up the few things I took to work and headed home for the day.
Wednesday morning came rolling around and I went through the normal morning routine, except this time turned on the local news for a change, just to keep up with the world.
A reporter came on the screen.
"Breaking news came in just this morning as a fire broke out at the Initech building on the corner of King Street. Police and authorities have no information on what might have caused the fire, but it is believed that it may have started in a storage room in the basement. Three people have been injured, but no one was seriously hurt. More on this story at ten tonight."
A wide smile spread across my face.
