She wants it to hurt.

That heavy feeling in your chest. The shortness of breath. She misses it. Does she miss him?

Just the other night she had a dream about him. She had her face in his lap. His cock at the back of her throat. There were tears in the corners of her eyes as she looked up at him. Looked into his glassy eyes filled with lust and appreciation.

She woke up from that dream confused. Wasn't she supposed to hate him? Yes he still turned her on, yes she missed those nights riding his cock as they both strangled out their cries of orgasm together. But he was bad. So...very, very bad.

But he was also her everything. Godric they were everything. And now she was nothing without him.

Move on. Time to move on.

Keep your head up and your smile bright.

Act like they can't touch you.

But it gets to you doesn't it? How he's married and supposedly happy? How you long to find that connection again?

You've had your one-night stands and your quickies in the bathroom stall at some rundown bar. You've had a man bring out the adventurous side of you, who fucked you wild, loud, and messy. But that wasn't enough was it?

Still empty. Still have that weight on your chest.

Who knew love could uplift and weigh you down at the same time? Who knew it's absence could be so cold that it burns but leaves you numb?

Who knew that despite all the betrayal and lies, you could still want it? That you could want it to hurt so bad?