Disclaimer – I still don't own the Titans.

So with Starfire's birthday rapidly approaching, the Titans make haste in preparing the celebration. With any luck, this party will go better than Raven's.

"Dude, if I know Star as well as I think I know, then she would definitely want milk-free ice-cream!" argued Beast Boy. Cyborg didn't even want to comment.

"Robin, how is the cake going?" asked Raven from across the room.

"Oh, fine. Hey, does anyone know where the mustard it?" asked Robin.

"I think Star ate the last-" Cyborg stopped talking realising the irrelevance of this question, "Robin… why do you need... … umm… forget I asked."

Cyborg was wrapping the gift for Starfire. The birthday girl herself was not in this room – for obvious reasons – she was still asleep. She wasn't accustomed to waking up at five in the morning.

Beast Boy was hanging a red dripping banner up on the wall. It eerily resembled blood oozing into words. "Hey guys, what do you think about the banner I made?"

"I think that 'Starfire' isn't spelt through a 'X'-

(uncomfortable silence)

-or an '8'" answered Raven.

"Oh man!" Beast Boy furiously painted more red paint over the letters and then commenced with rewriting it in black making it look even more sinister.

Raven was making the 'crown of meat'. She discovered it during her own birthday party and now will never forget it… It haunts her nightmares and disrupts her day… every waking moment. All of that raw meat. The blood was on her hands. She looked at them and it reminded her of Starfire. Awww.

"There. I'm done." Said Beast Boy triumphantly. Sure enough, it was spelt without any 'Xs' or '8s' but the words represented something more like 'BLOODY MURDER' than 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY'.

It was getting to the time when Beast Boy normally woke everyone up to force feed them tofu, they better wake Star now.

Beast Boy peeked through a small crack in the door of Star's room. It was too dark to see anything. He opened it wider and saw Starfire. Hovering above her bed. Sleeping. And glowing green. Her shirt hung loosely under her, all she was wearing was the shirt and underwear. And her eyes, they were open but motionless and dreary. Like a hypnotic beam hit them. She was slowly going up and down, up and down. Beast Boy was hypnotised.

It was pretty easy to hypnotise Beast Boy, Raven did it all the time. In odd moments he would break from the power and find himself in the dumpster at the back of an old takeaway, flapping his arms like a chicken while singing 'My Bonnie lies over the ocean' surrounded by tourists. The next day, he would find articles with incriminating photos of himself in it in the newspaper.

It wasn't until Raven came in to see Beast Boy drooling on Starfire's carpet and she dragged him out and slapped him back to his senses that he remembered what was going on.

"Raven, Starfire's flying!" exclaimed Beast Boy.

"Wow, you noticed," replied Raven in her sarcastic voice.

"No, I'm serious, she was hovering above her bed!" he stuttered.

"How unusual. Most people who can fly normally can't do it over their beds. Anyway, what were you doing drooling at her. You really have to get more respect for women. She wasn't even dressed yet!" she shouted at Beast Boy.

"She hypnotised me-"

"-In her sleep?"

"She had her eyes open and she-"

"-Hypnotised you." Finished Raven.

"Thank you, finally you understand me!" cried Beast Boy. Raven sighed and walked to her room which was right next to Starfire's. Then there was a groan. "So you don't believe be?" asked Beast Boy. There was a yawn. "Oh, now I'm boring you?" asked Beast Boy. There was a sound like two footsteps, and then some more footsteps. "Oh don't you walk away from me!" shouted Beast Boy getting aggressive. "I'm walking away from you!" he shouted. There was the sound of a door whooshing open. "Oh look who's crawling back-"

He turned to see Starfire, fully dressed and standing outside the door. "Is it time for your today's chosen meat-substituted breakfast serving?" she asked casually.

"Um… sure?"

Starfire started to make her way downstairs and Beast Boy went to knock on Raven's door. No answer. "Raven come on…" No answer. The green bean decided to abandon the corridor and raced after Starfire. When she was nearly at the bottom of the stair, Beast Boy loudly and unusually shouted, "OK, LET'S GO HAVE BREAKFAST NOW!" He hears some rummaging from behind the door.

Starfire walked into the dark room and as she switched on the light she heard, "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY STARFIRE!" as they shouted this, Star's hair was sent flying backwards and she stayed wide-eyed stiff as a board. When they finished shouting in unison, she collapsed backwards still stiff as a board.

She got up and stared at them with a quizzical expression. "Is it currently the anniversary of my birth?" she asked.

There was an awkward moment. "Umm… isn't it?" asked Robin finally breaking the silence.

"I do not know… I am still unsure of your world's country's standard clock time." She answered.

"What about your world? How old are you there?" asked Cyborg.

"I am four and forty-ninth of my planet's years old. And judging by my biological body clock, I have not surpassed my date of birth lately and should not for another couple of your earth years. But of course, being away from my planet for so long, I may have miscalculated." She stated.

"Wait… you're four and a half years old? How long's your life expectancy?" asked Raven everyone looked at her, "just out of curiosity?" Beast Boy just noticed that she was here and that she beat him downstairs. He gave her a quizzical look and was about to say something but was interrupted by Starfire.

"My people tend to live for 76 years for females, 72 and a half for males and 67.134159 years for clefemales."

"76? That's like 6.4 years younger than earth's female… wait, what? Clefemales?"asked Robin.

"I was speaking of Tamaranian years, not earth years. My people's life expectancy in earth years must be … um… 270.82405345211581291759465478842.

I'm not joking, I do math! If this is her 16th birthday, then that's right!

And as for clefemales, well let us just say that you do not want to know, unless… do you by any chance prefer the company of men?"

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I hope you liked my the first of my chappyrama! I'll write more as soon as I get some good reviews and some sleep, seriously, it's 9:48 pm here. I'm off to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail in my bedroom. Seeya later, Yellow Cheese.