"Mom!"

"What is it honey?"
"Arimi called me gay!"
"That's because you are gay, Eiji"
"No I'm not! See, Mom? She's being really mean!"

Mrs Kikumaru just tutted as her two youngest children, both as red as their flaming hair, shot each other furious glares. It was quiet about five seconds ago…

Oh yes, then all five of her children decided to wake up simultaneously.

"You are gay! It's really obvious; the whole world can see it!"
"I'm not!"
"Why aren't you?"
"Why am I?!"

"You just are"
"Am not!"
"Gay."
"Not!"
"Gay!" chorused another three voices – the rest of the Kikumaru clan had come downstairs to see if their breakfast was ready, and there was nothing the family loved more than a meal and a show.

"Mom! They're all being mean to me!" Eiji wailed and pouted, planting himself in a chair and folding his arms indignantly, like a disgruntled toddler. Laughing, his brothers and sisters took their own seats while Mrs Kikumaru dished up breakfast. All eyes were on Eiji.

"…gaaaaay"

"Mom! Even Yukiko's started! You're meant to be mature, sis! You're the oldest, you're nineteen!"
"And you're gay" the eldest child said matter-of-factly before eating practically an entire half of a fried egg in one go. "Don't give me that face, Kikumaru Eiji, I'm in University therefore I am more intelligent than you." She smiled, pushing her glasses up a little way, "Besides, you can't deny it. You and Oishi last night?" nods of agreement and eager chatter came from all four of Eiji's siblings.

Eiji paused, half to think of a suitable retort and half to remember what had actually happened last night. Oh yes, he and Oishi had watched a movie together.

"We watched a movie"
"That's total crap and you know it!" Arimi snorted, throwing a bread crust at her darling baby brother, "you didn't watch a movie, you sat there on the couch and snuggled while a movie was twiddling away in the background! Before you even try to deny it, tell me what the movie was about!"

He paused again. There was a cat in it, and the music was really boring, and some guy was singing and dancing and he fell off a bridge, and there was this creepy part where a lady screamed. Yeah, he could remember the scream, he'd had a bit of a scream too because he hadn't seen it coming, and Oishi held him close and whispered it was ok, it was just a movie. Then they had a nice cuddle and Oishi was nice and warm and he'd definitely washed his hair that morning because it was all soft and he smelled of that nice peach shampoo he used and Eiji liked that smell, it was a real Oishi smell and it made Eiji feel happy and safe and-

"Told you he didn't know what the movie was about. Hey, what was it called?"

Sighing in defeat, Eiji gave up. He crammed the last of his breakfast in his mouth and started for school.

---

A combination of heavy rain, roadworks and a strange incident involving the window cleaner and a power drill had closed off almost the entire of Eiji's walking route to school. Since practice would be off due to the rain anyway, the redhead decided he would get the bus – he got it every day it rained, and some days when it wasn't raining. He liked his bus, the bus driver was nice.

Also, it was the same bus that a little first year took to school every day. Eiji would sit next to him and they would talk, it was nice for Eiji to be able to say not all first years were as totally up themselves as ochibi.

"Kachiro-chan?"
"Kikumaru-senpai!" the first year smiled and moved some books off of the seat next to him. Eiji sat, and they chatted about nothing for a while.

Eiji had a thought.

"You are gay! It's really obvious; the whole world can see it!"

Could the whole world see it? Could Kachiro-chan see it? Was it that obvious? Eiji suddenly couldn't keep still and shifted nervously in his seat. Was he practically wearing a huge neon sign saying I AM GAY? There was that random guy in that restaurant who'd been a little too friendly that one time, had he thought Eiji was gay? Could even totally random people he didn't know see he was gay? Was he practically introducing himself with "hi, I'm Kikumaru Eiji and I'm gay"?

"Kikumaru-senpai, you've gone red."

"Kachiro-kun, do you think I'm gay?" Eiji babbled, smooshing his words together so he first thought, for a blissful moment, that Kachiro-chan would have only heard a totally incomprehensible babble and brushed it off as a sneeze. No such luck.

"Wh-what? I-what?!" a huge, awkward invisible brick wall of awkward awkwardness built itself between the two boys, Kachiro stared at Eiji, while the older boy looked out of the window. Silence.

Long, awkward silence.

"…I kinda assumed so. Aren't you?" it was Eiji's turn to stare at Kachiro, who looked up at him with terrified but honest eyes under his fringe. "you know, what with you and Oishi-senpai…"

Eiji wanted him to continue, but the bus pulled to a stop and Kachiro got off. Eiji hastily grabbed his things and ran the rest of the way to school to keep himself from getting wet, not that he could feel the rain anymore.

Oishi is the reason people think I'm gay?

---

Fujiko

A simple paper aeroplane, with only a single word scribbled inside, but Fuji knew Eiji well enough to know that by his spidery handwriting and lack of smiley faces on said plane that he needed a response. Fast.

Yeah?

Help.

Help how?

Am I gay?

Fuji stopped. He had to anyway, the teacher looked at him. Luckily his sudden thoughtfulness made the teacher think he was pondering the answer to the question on the board, not what was quite possibly the most important thing he had ever been asked and probably the most important question anyone would ever pose to him, except perhaps for "will you marry me?" from Tezuka in his daydreams.

Eiji was facing up to the fact he was gay? Fuji had to be careful; after months of totally avoiding the subject Eiji was suddenly asking him the one question that he had been desperate to ask Eiji. He needed to encourage his friend and make him feel confident, otherwise his matchmaking wouldn't work, and Tezuka only agreed to tolerate the things he did because he promised it would make Oishi – a good friend of Tezuka's – much happier and would strengthen the two as a doubles pair.

He needed tact.

I thought so, aren't you?

That's what Kachiro-chan said!

You asked him?

Fujiko

Yeah?

Help.

Help HOW?

Why

Why?

Do you think I'm gay

1. I'm gay so I have an excellent gaydar. 2. Oishi

What about Oishi

Just you and him, like how you were at practice on Saturday. That was kinda gay, just a little bit.

Practice on Saturday…? Oh! Eiji remembered that, he had hurt his ankle early on in the session, so he spent pretty much the whole of practice sitting in Oishi's lap, the pair of them smiling and snuggling and holding hands.

Was that gay? It was just something they did, wasn't it?

That's just something we do

It's something lovers do, just saying.

Eiji sighed, and with a neat and gentle throw sent the little plane whizzing into the wastepaper bin.

---

There had to be something in the library that could help him. Something, anything. As he flipped through Doctor Whackjob's Journal of Insanity and Extreme Mental Disorders, Eiji realised that this being the extent of the school library's psychology resources, a kids' book, that he was ever so slightly screwed.

"An unusual choice of reading material, this will make good data." Eiji looked up.

"Inui-kun?"
"1.373993273236 percent chance I would ever encounter you in the library, my data is against me lately." As Eiji's brain was invaded by a conga line of random numbers and long words he didn't care about, a little spark suddenly flashed in the back of his mind.

"Inui-kun, where can I find information about gayness?"

"…definitely not in this library. You could ask the relationships advisor later, we have health class last thing today. Why do you ask?"
"Do you think I'm gay?"

Inui went quiet to think, and Eiji could practically see little flashes of smart behind his glasses.

"99.7639274829925 percent chance of that being just so, so yes, I assumed so. Does my data lie again?" Gah, numbers. Eiji hated numbers. He was going to grow up and rule the world and ban numbers. He opened his mouth to speak, but the data master interrupted him. "and you're going to ask why, which is a simple equation."
"not more numbers" the shorter teen groaned, "your numbers give me headaches"

"Kikumaru plus Oishi," Inui pushed up his glasses, "subtract awareness of the world around them, multiplied by number of milliseconds spent apart plus number of longing glances shot at one another since last meeting, all divided by the number of people in the immediate vicinity - over one hundred, equals pure and unadulterated gay. See you in health class."

…Inui's equations made Eiji a sad ball of nya.

---

"Miss! Can you wait a minute? I have to ask a questioooon!"

The health class teacher paused and smiled at the squeaking, leggy teenager trying to untangle himself from his chair. She did like Kikumaru Eiji, he was always funny even if he wasn't meant to be and always asked the strangest of questions in her lessons. Granted, they could be very useful and doubtless the rest of the class were all thinking the exact same thing, but Kikumaru was the only one brave or naïve enough to ask why that went there and why that thing was that shape and who the hell came up with that?! So, as he bounded up to the front of the classroom, she smiled again.

"Yes, Kikumaru-kun?"
"Miss…do you think I'm gay?"
Well, that was a doozy. And exactly the topic of the day's lesson, had she worried him? She hadn't wanted to do that.

"Why? Did today's lesson worry you at all? Discovering yourself is something that takes time, Kikumaru-kun; you shouldn't jump to a decision right away just because I brought it up"

"no no no no no no no, I was thinking about it already, everyone says I'm gay and I don't know why they say I'm gay." He rushed, swiftly turning an interesting shade of red. "Most people mention Oishi."

"Oh yes…" Kikumaru sat between Fuji Syuusuke and Oishi Syuichiro in her lessons; they were a table of four, in a line, in the middle of the room. The table went; Oishi, Kikumaru, Fuji, Tezuka.

Tezuka practically wasn't there, he took his notes, he paid attention, he kept a straight face, and he answered questions bluntly when asked. But he seemed to be in a different place entirely. Unlike Fuji. Fuji was another of her secret favourites, he was just so bad. He was a perfectly good student who asked serious questions and made excellent notes, but it was something about the cheeky glint in his eye when he walked into the room, the way he'd been looking forward to the 'gay' unit all year, the simultaneous total and absolute horror and hysterical giggles he had with Kikumaru when the class had discussed the female reproductive system in detail, he was an absolute joy to teach. They were a right pair, in the middle of the classroom.

Oishi was barely there, too, though he did ask the odd question or request that she repeated things, it was as though there were two people on that table, not four, though Fuji's extensive and almost shocking knowledge, paired with Kikumaru's unbounded curiosity, always made for interesting lessons.

Inui sat nearer the back, just behind Tezuka. He never asked questions and constantly took notes, while Kawamura, just behind Oishi, would sometimes speak up, but only once a lesson. It took him the entire week to recover from his embarrassment.

She loved her job.

"Miss? Miss, you went quiet."

"Oh, I'm sorry, yes, about Oishi-kun…he's very quiet in my lessons, I think he embarrassed because you're right next to him."
Eiji looked shocked "but we talk about it all the time! He's always got a straight face when we talk"

"Maybe in those situations he's had more time to compose himself, in these lessons he doesn't say a word or even look at you, but the rest of the class talk about you a lot…"

Miss, we're learning about gay?

Get the Golden Pair to give a demonstration!

Just listen to them talking! Remember that time when the whole grade had to do that literature and drama project? They had to read that love poem!

Yeah! And Oishi had to say how he wanted to 'hold Eiji precious', you know what that's poet talk for!

He sounded like he meant it!

Hey miss, miss, look in the dictionary, there's a picture of the Golden Pair next to 'gay'!

I've seen them kiss

I bet they've done it

It?

You know, that it

'Holding him precious' it

Bet? Everyone KNOWS

"…quite a lot"

"They say all that?!" in the blink of an eye, a tomato replaced her favourite student in front of her desk, bless him.

"It's what I've heard, but I wouldn't worry about it, it's only gossip and you know the truth, whatever it may be. Don't rush yourself to discover what will come naturally to you when the time is right. Don't worry?"

He was very worried.

---

"Yes, Kikumaru-senpai, you're gay"

That was about as sensitive an answer as Eiji could have expected from Ryoma, but at the same time, he still choked on his milkshake.

"Echizen! Don't be so rude to your senpai!"
"I'm rude to you, Momo-senpai"
"Yeah well, that's different, we both treat each other like crap, but you know what Oishi-senpai would do if he heard you being mean to Eiji-senpai"

"What, give him a big gay cuddle and a big sappy gay kiss in the middle of the tennis courts?"
"No! Well, yes, but don't say that when Eiji-senpai's here!"

Tactless kouhai…at least they were honest, though Eiji would have preferred for them to be a little quieter considering they were in the middle of the burger bar where everyone could hear them. It was the only way he could persuade the pair to give him a straight answer; bribery.

"Why do you think I'm gay then?" Eiji took another sip of his milkshake and tried to compose himself.

"Mrmph, mrhrh mrrhhmrmphrmm"

"Yeah, I agree with Momo-senpai"
"I can't speak Burger!" wailed Eiji "say that again!"

Momo swallowed "I said, Oishi-senpai, enough said." Hmph, figures, everyone said Oishi. What was it with Oishi? They weren't that bad, were they?

"Yes, Kikumaru-senpai, you are"
"Hey!"
"You kiss and hold hands and whisper and talk about gay things and do gay things and are gay. That's why everyone thinks you're gay."

Eiji went home.

---

Grandmaland was the quietest part of the Kikumaru household, in her old age, Eiji's grandma became less active and preferred to sit in her chair and knit or listen to music. Eiji loved his grandma, so as he sat beside her on the floor in her room, he started to think.

"Eiji dear," she said, smiling at her grandson from her chair, "when do you think you'll be having Oishi-san over again? He's a lovely boy, isn't he?"
"Yeah…Grandma, can I ask you a…hypothetical question?"

"Of course, dear"

"…would you still…if I was…hmm…say I was…inclined…to…well…if I was…inclined to….in an intimate way….to boys….would you…still like me?" he looked at the floor and hugged his knees, silently praying. Grandma had knitting needles.

A tender smile spread across the woman's face, a twinkle in her eye. "Oh Eiji…" she placed a hand gently on his shoulder "you're my grandson, I'll always love you"
Eiji looked up at her, biting his lip anxiously. "Really, Grandma?"
"Really really, why did you ask?" she ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Oishi…"
"Aa, Oishi-san has told me about the rumours" Eiji was about to squeal, but his grandma shushed him "he's worried too, Eiji, he's worried for you…"

"Poor Oishi…"
"You shouldn't worry about anything, Eiji, not at all. The people you love will always love you no matter what, something so little and trivial shouldn't matter to you."

It mattered.

It mattered more than anything in the whole wide world.

And Eiji was going to set everything right by going straight to the root of the problem!

---

…he hadn't really intended on snuggling up in the root of the problem's lap, but that's just kinda how they ended up. The redhead had made his way determinedly to Oishi's house to talk about their problem like adults; instead, they had ended up sitting on Oishi's bed being their usual selves.

Eiji shivered a little as Oishi lightly stroked his cheek with the back of his hand. Was this what people talked about? Simple acts of tenderness that dotted across their daily routines; was this wrong? Oishi's hand moved to play gently with Eiji's hair. This? Their total comfort with each other, this? He needed closure and he needed it now.

On second thoughts, maybe he could have closure later, he wanted Oishi now. He had that power over him, the ability to make anything, everything else no longer a priority. Eiji wanted his doubles partner all the time, and he really, really wanted him now. The simplest of actions and slightest of touches sent Eiji into a whirl.

He.

Needed.

Oishi.

"Oishi." He sat up straight and looked his best friend right in the eye, half frowning, half biting his lip nervously. Swallowing his pride, he said clearly, "do you think I'm gay?"

Like everyone else before him, Oishi went quiet to think of an answer. Was he going to push Eiji away? Yell at him? He'd only asked an 'if' question, but Oishi was smart and knew how to put two and two together. Eiji asking if he thought he was gay in the middle of one of their little snuggle sessions was just asking for trouble. He tightened his hold on Oishi, but stayed looking in his eyes, firmly.

He suddenly found his lips sealed, he relaxed, and kissed back softly.

"I hope so."