Chapter 1
The idea of thanking Damon was not something I consciously thought about. We weren't friends…we weren't anything. We were just two people forced into a partnership because of circumstance and our love for a certain brunette beauty. Though I didn't necessarily hate him anymore I also didn't care about him and I believed the thought to be mutual until the day that Jeremy told him about my death. I stood behind Jeremy and watched as Damon's face crumbled and the awful truth was realized. I watched as he went through all five stages of grief. After that watching Damon handle my death became a fascination of mine. I was sure that it all stemmed from him wanting to shield Elena from pain but I noticed that he brought my grimoire to my funeral, that he came up with a plan to bring me back, that he destroyed a crate when he had to choose between Elena and I, that he snapped his brother's neck repeatedly, that he asked for Tessa's help, and that he begged Amara to live until I was on the other side. I saw it all and though it has now been over a month since I was brought back I still wonder what fueled Damon to do all of this. I haven't spoken of it and I have avoided Damon at all costs. But I can't anymore. I need help. A month with this pain has been unbearable so the idea of an eternity with it makes me want to jump off the nearest bridge. I've always been the strong one so to now admit defeat and especially to Damon will be hard but I know that if anyone can and will find a way to fix it he will. The tricky part is sneaking away to ask him without anyone finding out now that he and Elena are no longer together. I'm sure it will be seen as a traitorous act on my part if it comes out. So I wait until midterms, when I know that Caroline and Elena will be so swamped they won't notice if I disappear for a day or two and I make the journey to the Salvatore house to ask the devil for a favor. God have mercy on my soul.
*The devil can sometimes do a very gentlemanly thing. –Robert Louis Stevenson*
