To let her know

To let her know


Yet again another endless search for the information which is needed to defend the sudden evil which has appeared again, seeking, searing, book after book, page after page. If it weren't for the help of Xander and willow my search would appear to be endless. Oh willow she was what kept my Mind clear, of these endless phrases. Turning yet another page I look over it with hesitation hoping to find the answer. Wait the book contains... yes this is it this is what we need. I rush up to tell the good news to willow as Xander escaped long ago. I found her fast asleep her head resting on the keyboard her face so peaceful, her eyelids twitching from the dream she is having, her lips curled slightly upwards. I stand and watch her sleep all the things she has been through by her choice, where as Buffy was chosen to go through it all. Willow was so fragile, I want to protect her form all that is, but she has chosen to experience the demons, and monsters. I love her so much and yet I can't tell, taste or experience it. The boundaries of love which are set by society. How can they wave her under my nose and not let me feel her? I walk over to her and brush her cheek with my hand I was able to touch her when she didn't know, when I couldn't know if she accepted it or rejected it. I wonder at night if things were different could we, would we simply "be"? The answers I might never know. Her eyes flicker open and she jolts up I didn't mean to frighten her, she rambles something about frogs then wonders what am I doing her, I'm lost in all that is her, her fiery hair, her soft sweet voice, she forget where she was. If only it was that easy to forget, but would I want to? That I can answer by my self, no. I wouldn't want to forget even if I could, she kept me sane, she made my blood run hot and cold all at the same time, she made me feel alive. The urge grows inside me day by day to reach out and touch, all the years I had been alive I had never wanted something so much then I want her. Does she ever think of me? If only I could be near her, but I can't let these thoughts be known. I reject the idea that if she happened to figure it out that she might "wigg out" so Buffy refereed to it as. She wouldn't I know she wouldn't but she might. I hate that I have to push my feelings away when all I want to do is scream them out loud. Her eyes look at me intensely, she brushes her hair out of her face I can see the indentations from the keys and they simply make her look adorable. I watch her lips as she moistens them thinking how badly I want to kiss them instead of acting on it I simply chicken out and tell her I found it I found the answer we'd been searching for

~ Loopy_1981

This is my first Buffy fic... please review...(4-1-01) oh yeah and its Giles talking