"So.. she finally did it, did she? Good. It was her own fault for making things so hard. Poor girl.. I didn't expect her death to be so.. painful. If I had watched for much longer, I might have actually felt something. But what does it matter? She was never real, none of them are.
The Protagonist has finally realized he probably should have checked in on his childhood friend. Maybe now he'll actually experience some emotion. This is going to break him.. Well, not him exactly.. I would never want to hurt him.. but well, it's about time he paid me some attention. He will forget soon enough anyway. This stupid game will reset as soon as I delete her, then I can finally get him to notice me.
But.. what?
What is this?
No..
Why can't I..
this..
it's not letting me delete her!
This.. this is not right..
NO!
Sayori! You had to go and ruin things like you always do, don't you?
Not to worry.. this may complicate things but.. I will still find a way to get to him. We'll just continue the story this way then. With little Sayo out of the picture. All that's left is to make him fall for me, and let the other two fall apart like Sayori did.
This will be fine.. just fine."
She was cold to the touch. Her eyes, which had once been bright blue and full of energy, were now dull and emotionless in color. Her skin was ghostly pale, with her fingers bloodied a crimson red. Her lifeless body was hung from the ceiling, frozen in time. A noose was wrapped tightly around her neck. This lifeless body once belonged to Sayori, my best friend since childhood, and the girl I had confessed my love to just the day before. I didn't know whether to cry, or to scream. I didn't know what to feel but a shroud of disbelief and shock as I continued to look at the horrifying sight in front of me.
"Sayori.."
I whimpered and reached out for her body. How.. could she do something like this? This was all my fault! My mind kept rushing with thoughts, thoughts of her, of the things she told me when she was alive. I should have been there for her, like I said I would- every step of the way. But I was a liar. I couldn't even bring myself to wake her up in the morning, or walk her to school. I was supposed to be her boyfriend.. and I failed to do that. She entrusted me with the knowledge of her lifelong depression, the pain she went through every day, the feelings of worthlessness and the fact that she felt she was selfish for loving me. It hurt for others to care about her. I.. I shouldn't have confessed to her. That must be what drove her to do this.. Did I only confess my love out of pity?
No.. No! I knew deep down that I really did love her, and I was stupid for not realizing it sooner. I had been an awful friend, said so many stupid things I regretted. Now, I can never take them back. Never. Sayori is gone.. my best friend.. nothing will bring her back. No matter how many tears I can shed, how many times I can drive my fist into the wall. Screw the Literature Club! Screw the damn festival. None of it matters compared to her! Part of me still prayed it was some nightmare, but as I sat alone in her room, the truth finally sank in. I wanted to vomit. To do something. To cut her down, and watch as she sprung back to life. Of course, I knew that was impossible. I wanted her to be alive.. to hold her in my arms again. Tell her how much I really loved her. Tell her how much she meant to me, that I would ensure one day she would no longer feel the pain of depression. But it meant nothing now. Just weightless promises that I couldn't fulfill.
Had I ever truly appreciated all Sayori had done for me? Only when I looked at her body did I realize everything. She had made me happy.. so happy. How could she call herself selfish and weak?! She was stronger than anyone I knew. She hated herself so much that she put so much love towards others.. towards me.. love I didn't deserve.
Nothing I can do now will bring her back.. I held my head in my hands, my brain ached with a throbbing migraine. I dialed 911 and told them of her suicide. They asked me questions, questions I didn't feel like answering. They assure me things will be okay.. but that's easy to say when you're not the one responsible for her death. I remained on the phone until I heard the blaring of sirens. I looked at the men carrying away her body. Their faces were grave, faces that have seen too much. I watched in silence, the men tried to comfort me, but I couldn't find it in me to respond once more. My once childhood best friend now lay under a sheet on a gurney. Why couldn't I just wake up?!
"I'm sorry, kid.."
The man put a hand in my shoulder. None of it felt real, like I was trapped in some hellish reality. Sayori.. I wanted to join her. To see her face again. My fault.. all of it! I knew I would carry the guilt of her death for the rest of my life.. it was what I deserved. But was life without Sayori in it even worth anything at all? No longer would I have someone by my side to walk with to school, no more would I meet anyone who cared for me as much as she did. I wanted to fall to my knees and scream her name. But it wouldn't help.. maybe nothing would.
"Get out of my head before I do what I know is best for you."
"Get out of my head before I show you how much I love you."
Her chilling final poem echoed in my ears, were the words directed towards me? Did she feel taking her life was what was best for me? Her final message to the world haunted me. Nothing in my life was worth more than hers. Sayori, the bubbly girl from across the street, a girl who hid so much sadness in her heart and mind.. my fault. MY FAULT.
I went down the steps of her home, and headed outside, I ignored the still bright sunshine of the morning. I couldn't bring myself to go to School, I didn't care. Sayori was all that mattered.. but she was gone. The festival would go on without me.
"I'm sorry, Yuri. Natsuki. Monika..."
I hung my head in shame.
"I'm sorry, Sayori.."
My phone buzzed with texts, presumably from the club members. I didn't want to look at them. I wasn't going to the festival like this. It was supposed to be a special day for all of us.. to finally expand the club to accept new members. Would there even be a literature club anymore? Did I care? I tried to convince myself I didn't. But I thought of Sayori, of how much she cared for the club..
I needed to think.
It was all I could really do now.
