Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I affiliated with JK Rowling or the Harry Potter fandom. I am writing this story simply for fun, although it would be nice to be able to own Sevvy. :]
A/N: Hello there all.This is a reposting of a story that I wrote a few years ago and never bothered to finish. I am going to try and finish it this time around, and I've already started adding a new chapter. I have a problem with getting bored easily with stories so I'm sorry for anyone reading my other stories, but this is the only one I'm going to be working on until it's finished. I've updated the story a bit so it doesn't really sound like a three year old wrote it and I hope that you'll like it. Your reviews will be what lets me know and keeps me writing. Also, as a side note, this story is not DH compliant. I'm pretty sure I started writing this before DH was even out, so I didn't know anything about what happened in the war. Happy reading.
Prologue
"Now really Miss Granger, I don't think this is the smartest thing for you to do." Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall, exclaimed. "You are too smart to let your schooling go to waste like this."
"Professor, I appreciate what you are trying to do, really I do. But I'm not letting my education go to waste. Nor am I giving up on it. I am simply taking it somewhere else. I can't stay here any longer, Professor," Hermione said as she took a deep breath.
Over the summer the war with Voldemort had been full-fledged. Too much blood was shed, and some of her best friends were killed. Walking around school now, without Harry, Ron or even Neville, killed her inside. She no longer felt the joy that she always had at the thought of waking up for classes, or even for studying. Not because she didn't still feel the same way about school, but because of the memories that were brought to the front of her mind while she walked around the halls of the castle that had been her home since she was eleven. She needed to go somewhere else that didn't remind her of how much she had lost.
"Hermione," Minerva started, tears coming to her eyes, "We were all very much affected by the war, I don't think it fair that you are to leave when everyone needs each other the most."
But Hermione wasn't only leaving because she couldn't stand to be around those who had been fighting alongside her while her friends died, although that was a big part of it. What Hermione couldn't deal with were the looks that everyone gave her. People looked at her in what she assumed were looks of sympathy, empathy even, but to her all they felt like were looks of pity. Pity that she wasn't the same girl she used to be. Pity that she had lost her best friends and was now basically alone in the world. Even Professor Snape had been giving her those looks since the war had ended and the death toll had been announced.
Severus Snape had never been nice to her, never truly cared for her or her feelings – she was nothing but an annoying know-it-all mudblood after all – but ever since the war, he had been throwing sympathetic glances her way. Glances that made her feel small and pathetic. Glances that made her wish that it was she who had been lost in the chaos rather than her friends.
"Maybe I will come back in a few years, when everything has settled down." She honestly doubted it, but her parents had always told her to never say 'never'. She grabbed her small tote bag and without a backwards glance strode out of the office. The office hadn't changed at all since the demise of Albus Dumbledore except to add a picture frame along the wall with his photo in it. He had been out when she'd been in the room talking to the headmistress and she was thankful for that. It would have made it so much harder had he been in there watching them speak.
She had already said goodbye to everyone she wanted to – not that there had been many of them – so she made her way down the staircase quickly, not once looking back at the office for fear of breaking down. She had barely made it into the hallway at the bottom of the stairs when she ran into the one person she hadn't wanted to see.
"Miss Granger," She took a deep breath and sighed. She hadn't wanted to run into him on her way out. She hadn't wanted to run into him because she didn't think she would be able to hold herself together. She had barely managed to hold herself together while she was speaking with Minerva. "You're leaving." It wasn't a question. He was simply stating a fact.
She slowly turned around and made eye-contact, nodding and biting her lip a bit harder than necessary. "Yes." It was the only word she could manage that he wouldn't hear the shaking in her voice.
Hermione had begun to turn around and walk away, possibly forever, but he grabbed her arm, taking her hand and kissing the knuckles. She had never seen him act so chivalrous, and especially not to the girl he had hated for the last seven years of their lives. She choked back a sob and looked away. Why could she control herself in front of the woman who had acted like a grandmother to her all these years, but couldn't control herself around the man who had made it a point to let her know just how much of a pain in the arse she was to him. "It was wonderful getting to know you throughout the years."
She tried, oh how she tried, but in the end she wasn't able to stop herself from wrapping her arms around his neck and letting the tears flow onto his shoulder. She couldn't form any words to say to him, couldn't even form words in her mind to think for that matter. All she wanted was comfort – someone or something to tell her that everything was going to be alright. She wanted someone to tell her that there was nothing anybody could do – that there was nothing else she could do. She wanted, no, she needed, someone to tell her that it wasn't her fault. Even if that someone was the only man who had even managed to make her feel stupid.
"Shh." Professor Snape patted her back awkwardly and tried to calm her. He had never been good at comforting someone. He'd never had any need to comfort someone before now. But the sight of Hermione Granger breaking down caused his heart to clench. "I will miss you." He whispered.
He couldn't think of anything that would actually calm her down. He had no idea how much she was hurting. Nobody did, contrary to what they always told her. Hermione was the one of the strongest people he had ever known, and for her to break down in his arms he knew that what she was feeling was ten times worse than what anybody else was feeling.
The raven haired man was shocked that at those four simple words her racking sobs became quieter. He could tell she was trying to dry her eyes, not wanting anyone to see that she had lost control, that she had for one second been any less than the brick wall she wanted everyone to believe she was.
He leaned back, looking into her face and felt his heart clench again. Her eyes were glossy from the tears and her face was flushed. The mixture made her eyes look large and deep, and he had to get away now before he took advantage of her weakened state. "Good luck" he told her, his voice quiet so that it wouldn't hitch at the onslaught of his own feelings. He lightly kissed her lips and stepped back. His heart ached for the poor girl.
Hermione stiffened in his arms and closed her eyes until he had stepped away from her. She had never had anyone just hold her while she let the dam of her feelings break and let the tears come rushing through. She had never been kissed so gently that even now, minutes after he had stepped away from her, she could still feel butterflies. She hadn't felt that with Viktor – he had been too clumsy – and she certainly hadn't felt that with Ron who was far too much like her brother than like her boyfriend.
She had staggered slightly when he had let her go, but she tried not to let it show. She had shown enough weakness to last her a lifetime. When she'd gotten full strength back in her legs, she looked up at the man before her and smiled. "Thank you, Professor."
She couldn't be sure if she was thanking him for helping her education along for all these years, for being there when she needed a shoulder to cry on, or for the kiss that had so obviously made her weak at the knees despite how short it was. But she knew that either way, she had the strength back again. And that strength was all she needed to walk away.
"Goodbye."
