Hey I decided to make a new funny story, because I got an actual insperation. Anywhoo iit won't be that long, five chapters at the most, but I know it will be funny, funnier than any other story I have written for sure. I heop you enjoy the first chapter.
Famous Family Flops
Chapter 1
Addictions, Violence, and Interspecies Sex
The cameras were turned on, as the crew were running around making last second confirmations, but the show went live. The audience was getting restless, but were also excited for the up coming entertainment they were about to receive.
She sat in a room concealed away from everyone else. Even her friends, friends she guessed, they were the reason why she was here. Well not all of them really, one of them had originally made the call.
But all in all they each got on her nerves in a different way. One moment they got along, another they would be at each other's throats. So she guessed they need help.
She then thought hard about the subject. Her forehead wrinkled as she did, not much made her think this hard. The major question was why had they all agreed to come here? Hell, why had she agreed to come here, she doubted it would help their dysfunctional family a tiny bit. All it would do it embarrass them all, and being a celebrity of some sort, that was something she did not need.
Her train of thought was interrupted by a crewmember that barged into her room, with out even a knock. Normally she would have given him a beating he would've never forgotten, but now was not the time for that. After all she spent a good forty minutes in make up, and they spent extra time attaching her microphone due to her wings.
"You're going to be on soon...What's your name again?" the fat man with the clipboard asked as he checked his notes, "I mean are you 'Diana', or 'Shier....Shay....Sheyra?'"
"It's Shayera," she said angrily digging her nails into the arms of the winged-back chair, which she found ironic.
"Oh okay, just remember that your mike has to be on you all the time, if it falls off just tell me and I'll personally put it back on you," he said with a wink.
Shayera cringed at the thought of that guy putting the microphone pack back on her butt, "You know I have a boyfriend, right?"
"Sure lady, everyone has a boyfriend when they come here," he replied back as he shut the door.
Shay walked over and looked into the mirror, this was not going to go well.
The lights came up and the host took his place in front of the screaming audience. The man behind the camera held up fingers showing the remaining time. Three, two, one..
"Hello I'm Jerry Springer, and boy have we got a treat for you today on our show. Everyone knows of the infamous 'Justice League', how they're always do-gooders thwarting villains plans, saving children from burning buildings, preventing natural disasters. But what we don't hear about is what goes on, up in space in their tower, when they're not on duty. So what goes on up there? Addictions? Violence? Maybe interspecies sex? All in all the 'Justice League' may be superheroes, but they are, well most of them are human. And everyone knows humans are not perfect. So our next hour is devoted to the Justice League and their problems." The audience whooped with cheers and applause.
"Now lets meet our first guest," Jerry said turning towards the seven chairs set up at the front of the room, "This is Clark, now Clark says his friends don't treat him with the respect they used to."
"That's right Jerry," Clark said looking desperate, "All they do is yell now. We used to work as such a team. But now they all want to do their own thing all the time."
"What do they do exactly that's getting on your nerves enough to call us?" the talk show host asked interested.
"Well there's J'onn and Wally with their unhealthy addiction," the audience gasped, "and of course the couples of the League." The audience 'Oued' in response.
"Couples, I thought there would be no time for work place romance, especially with serious a serious job."
"I thought they would be more mature as well but it didn't happen. The worse part is that the entire League has to deal with the relationships. From the parts where they can't keep their hands off each other, to the parts where their fighting none stop."
"I never knew it was that bad, couldn't you do anything about it?" the talk show host asked.
"Well when you live in a satellite in Earth's orbit there isn't much you can do. I just wish we could be a team like we were before everything happened."
"And if they don't change, are you going to leave?"
"No," Superman replied.
"Then what motivation do they have to change?" Springer asked in response.
"Why would I leave the team I started?"
"You know what lets bring out J'onn, here he is," Springer called and the spotlight went to the door. It stayed there for about five minutes, but J'onn didn't walk down. The cameras moved back to the chairs and J'onn shot up from the floor and materialized in front of the chair.
The audience went wild. Girls were going crazy and one held up a sign that said 'I want your baby J'onn'.
"Hello J'onn," Jerry greeted the scantily clad green Martian.
"Hello Mr. Springer," J'onn monotonely replied back.
"Now J'onn Clark here tells me you have an addiction problem."
"Then you have been misinformed, Mr. Springer. I have no problem of that sort," J'onn replied back, still no emotion in his voice.
"Oh really?" Clark asked as he reached over to the bag, which had accompanied him to the set. He pulled out a bag of Oreos.
"GIMME!" J'onn screamed as his orange eyes got bright and wide. Clark had to push him back. "I SAID 'GIMME!'" J'onn screamed and phased right through Superman and grabbed the Oreos.
He sat back in the chair and when the cameraman came to close he went berserk, "THESE ARE MINE! MINE! ME, ME, ME!" and jumped on the cameraman.
"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!" the audience was cheering J'onn on.
More bodyguards came over to control him. When he broke down and started crying something inaudible about his Oreos.
Clark just sat calmly in his chair rolling his eyes. And Jerry was walking around the sobbing alien who was being helped back to his seat with his bag of Oreos.
"Well we're only ten minutes into our show and it's already been the most interesting one we've had. Sat tuned after this commercial when we talk to J'onn about his problems and bring out the next member."
Well there you have it. Jerry Springer meet the Justice League. I hope I did I good job, because I've only seen the Jerry Springer show three times. Anyway I hope you continue to read, because believe me there will be fights. (and perhaps a suggestion to Diana from the audience- a tee hee) Anyway, I don't know which JL member to bring out next, so if you review and tell me I'll make them next. Expect the next chapter in 2 days.
