Ashes Are Burning

She remembered the fire. No one really knew who started it but once unbreakable marble bodies clashed and extremities started flying across the field, the roaring flames were as good a place as any to deposit them into.

She remembered the smoke reaching for the sky; heavens he would have said. The vile stench had permeated their clothes as the unnaturally coloured smoke had painted over the blue weighing heavily upon them.

She remembered making sure her family was safe and faring well on their fronts in the battle. Two of the guards had harmed Emmett and were now facing the wrath of his wife. Whoever spoke of mother lioness protecting her cubs or of a woman scorned had never met Rosalie Hale McCarty. She was in a category of her own. Esme came close to that as any creature can while trying to ensure her husband's sanctity. Carlisle loathed fighting and Esme was doing her absolute best to spare him from that. Not that he let her. Bella held the gifted members of the guard at bay while Edward made sure not a finger was laid on her person. The wolves were acting as an organic unit keeping the perimeter clear of any passers-by. But not once had she thought of looking to see, if he would need help.

She remembered thinking her knight in shining skin was just an overprotective fool who would not dare to let anything to happen to himself, because if something were to happen to him, he wouldn't be able to keep her safe. That is why when her brother shouted she thought something had happened to Bella.

She remembered sifting through futures to find the right words to say, the right way to calm and contain Edward.

She remembered looking for futures that weren't there.

She remembered standing still and hearing her sister, her blissfully married best friend coming to her and saying: "Now you know how I feared."

She remembered him picking her up and whispering: "Come away with me. Let's take a trip, just the two of us."

She remembered saying no. Playfully.

She remembered her brother wrapping his arm around her shoulders and saying: "I know what you are going through. I lived in that dark place for hours. I sank under the weight of my dead heart. But I survived."

She remembered thinking it wasn't the same.

She remembered him asking and once again succumbing to her will.

She remembered the bell above the door. Clinking.

She remembered his scent.

She remembered the end of the battle.

She remembered the wailing and the tearless sobs which were her own.

She remembered her family comforting her, holding her and feeding her while she lashed out to everyone around her. The accusations just flew off her tongue: "None of you loved him. You pretended to regard him as your brother or a distant cousin because of me and he knew it. He knew it. He didn't need your love, pity or acceptance. All he needed was for you to love me and be the family I never had because it made me happy. All he wanted was me and I failed to give him what he wanted the most. I failed him!"

She remembered seeing the three trashing figures turning into ashes behind the flames until the stench reeked of his death and sacrifice.

She remembered thinking this was the end.

She remembered them lying on the bed together when he asked the second most important question of their existence: "What would you do?"

"What would I do?" She giggled throwing herself back to the pillows and kicking the air with her bare feet. He leaned in to look at her.

"Yes, what would you do? If you were in Edward's position when he thought Bella was dead; if I were dead, a pile of ashes, what would you do?"

"Luckily I won't have to face that decision. Our futures are the one and the same. When you perish, I perish. One can't live without the other."

"Alice, this isn't the time to be melodramatic. Just answer the question, please. If I perished and you survived, what would you do?" This time she couldn't dismiss his serious tone. The smile fell from her lips and the blackness took her eyes as she imagined him gone.

"I would do what Edward did; beg the others to end my miserable, meaningless existence. Why? What would you do?"

Instead of telling her he showed her.

In the span of few seconds Alice experienced the lowest of lows and the deepest sadness words cannot describe before gradually feeling flickers of longing and yearning and love. There was no room for remorse. Her emotions ascended from the abyss and the sadness gained a sweet flavour. She wasn't the same afterwards and the memory of that emotional rollercoaster was still fresh in her mind, but she felt better and oddly complete.

He would grieve for her. He would mourn and wallow in self-pity but he would also hold on and eventually he would move on with his life; such as it would be without her.

"I'm not pompous enough to think ending my existence would somehow make you happy. It wouldn't make you feel better, or any of the others", he had said.

She remembered scoffing and thinking that he was a fool for believing that.

But she hadn't understood then. She had been blinded by her own unwavering faith in her visions and the trust everyone else had laid upon her. She hadn't really listened close enough to realise that he was telling her what he wanted for her; what he wanted her to do should her sight fail her and should he fall.

He had forgiven her just like he always did; Edward had told her that much.

So when she remembered his love washing over her, filling her, cradling her for the last time, she made a promise to herself. She promised to stop living in the future, to slow down and enjoy the present, just as he had begged her to do for years. Her memory of him would be her crutch until she learned to walk again, to live again, to love...

Alice picked herself up, got back on her feet and walked away from the burning ashes.