Being away from them was hard, but being close to them was almost as difficult.
Being outside the strange space that was offered by that odd room back home was refreshing, invigorating, rewarding even.
Yet, the crisp autumn air could only do so much to stifle the feelings of dread and uncertainty that would surely return when she stepped back onto the trail back to the Velvet space in between.
The young woman walked alone, her golden hair catching a faint touch of sunlight in the mist every now and again. If anyone were around, they may even catch the eerie golden glow that burned from her eyes, almost juxtaposed upon her very pristine and flawless beauty.
It was late October and the air this morning was very chilled, not that she would ever mind. She had walked down a trail through a local park in these early hours of the day as the sun began to make its ascent. The trees and their brilliant colors, the birds serenading her from their branches, the light fog that taunted her vision, all things that seemed so-alien. In the darkness of home, sometimes she felt trapped. She was certain humans out here had a name for such a thing—she was almost certain it was cabin fever, or a feeling of anxiety and intense energy from being inside a place for too long.
In any case, being away from everyone gave her a brief moment to simply catch her breath and gather her thoughts.
There was no one around, just as she preferred it. After all, she didn't really like to interact with anyone outside of her small circle. Meeting someone new was a very fascinating experience for her, but she didn't need any more distractions from her work, her job at her Master's side. It was somewhat lonely however—she didn't understand her contradicting feelings. She instead tried to ignore them and focus on the thick fog around her, enveloping the trees and the path before her.
She was the eldest of three siblings.
Her youngest sibling, a rather serious and somewhat prideful boy—man. He had always been so certain in himself, so sure that he knew everything, so sure that everything was under his control. It rather annoyed her; it didn't take long for him to become aware that this wasn't going to be the case very often. It wasn't that he was dimwitted, it wasn't that he was weak, it was just that he took himself far too seriously. When she would confront him on his pride, he would only give her silence. From the invisible throne he sat on however, she could see a little boy who was scared of losing that which he held dear to him. In some ways this made her smile, this made her happy—how cute. However, on a more serious note, he had a lot of internal turmoil that he needed to sift through if he was ever going to find any sort of comfort in his position among them, his family.
All the faux knowledge he claimed to know, all the amazing abilities he claimed to have, all things that were facades for him to secure himself as an important and powerful figure amongst us. All just cries for attention and admiration—silly child. Yet, she loved him for it; he was a stubborn boy, but despite all his facades and delusions, he did seem to deeply care for them.
On the note of internal turmoil though, none of them really contended with their younger sister.
The middle child, and by for the most confused of the three. While the youngest used strength and knowledge to cover his melancholy, this one used a vicious curiosity that was nothing short of obnoxious.
She couldn't blame her though, in fact she seemed to simply be experiencing this cabin fever that her older sister so frequently ran from. Yet, when offered to take with, the younger sister always turned her eldest down. She didn't understand her, why would she stay in such a gloomy and stuffy place? In the end though, it seemed more and more apparent that she was just depressed, and not just mildly, but deeply, deeply sad.
As her older sister, she felt helpless. She didn't know how to aid her younger sister who so needed any help she could get. While the youngest ran off to areas beyond and across the Naught, she ran to the human world and on mornings like this one, tried to gain a better perspective on herself and what she tried to stand for. But every time, every time, she would find herself thinking about her sister, and the sadness that loomed over her head.
In the blue darkness she would whisper, "Elizabeth. . .what's wrong?"
Every time she was questioned, her younger sister would always give her a fake smile and shake her head that everything was okay—it was a blatant lie, an obvious one at that.
She wasn't okay, the youngest wasn't as well; and most shamefully, their oldest sister wasn't either. How could she call herself the eldest when even she felt confusion and uncertainty? Was it her fault? Was it her choice?
"Of course not," she told herself. Or so she liked to think.
They were all going through the same thing. Even their infinitely wise Master seemed to be under a sullen hex every now and again. This was their fate it seemed.
A long time ago, her Master had explained to her that as beings of The Velvet, they were doomed to undergo the melancholy and uncertainty of an existence that on the surface, had no meaning or merit. But he continued to explain that they did mean something, they did have a purpose, but it was something only they could find. She begged and begged and begged for him to tell her, to at least hint for her what it could be—she was younger and didn't quite know what else to do. Every time he simply shook his head and gave her a soft smile, his eyes giving her an almost saddened look. It wasn't something he could tell them, it truly was something only they could find.
That was one of the reasons why her and the youngest strayed away; the Velvet was inescapable and they couldn't stand being in there for so long—at least she couldn't. While the youngest did portray the excellent working man, he was visibly torn with being trapped in that bizarre purgatory versus being out and under the cosmos like he so loved to be.
Being out here gave her an opportunity to think and ponder what her true meaning , her true purpose really was. Here, in a simple park, she could think to herself and not be reminded of her rather dark and strange existence in between universes.
Her younger sister however, she seemed to be almost too frightened to move.
It was rather paradoxical really; her intense curiosity and affinity for the arcane arts were stunning—but she was too uncertain, too afraid to go out and see it for herself again.
After all, she had been out amongst the human world a few times before apparently, one day though she abruptly stopped though; she said, "I no longer have business out there."
She could see it, her Master could see it, their brother could see it—yet they all said nothing. They couldn't say anything, but they all could plainly see the crushing sorrow on her face when she softly murmured that to them under the most broken smile they had ever seen. It was then, that there was no longer the curiosity that they all shared, there was no longer the energetic and obnoxious girl they had come to know, there was only an empty shell that had apparently left something out there amongst the humans. Had she found her purpose? No, this was something that clearly hurt her.
I'm fine.
Now, the girl who had been so eager to leave the Velvet Room, more eager than her eldest and youngest siblings, who had gone out and seen sights that her youngest and oldest siblings could only imagine, was too sullen to take a small step outside.
What had she seen? What had she experienced?
She had clearly lost something dear to her. Alas, her siblings had no way of knowing what it was. It was times like this the eldest began to feel anger. Why had the universe been so cruel to them? Why had they been kept in the shadows and left to mentally starve beyond the fringes of existence? What had they done?
She felt her master knew the answers but wouldn't share them—she began to grit her teeth. Why was this happening to them?
She hated seeing her loved ones suffer, even her master 's quiet hurt as pins and needles.
She wasn't much of a help; she never knew how to comfort them. When the youngest sibling was in pain or angry for some reason, she would softly hum to him while he would stare into the darkness. She didn't understand it, but he always said it helped to calm him down. Her younger sister however, she held it all in and acted as if everything was fine. This made her eldest very upset, but it reminded her of herself. It's probably where she learned it from. As the eldest, she did her best to be responsible and as good of a role model as she could be for her siblings; whenever she was frustrated her troubled, she did her best to make sure that they could not see it. If they did, they might fret—and they didn't need that.
Now, they're older, and she is too. Looking back to those memories—she wasn't sure how recent or distant they were, after all they've been alive for centuries, or maybe only a few years? She didn't know, she just didn't know anymore, none of them did. Time was so cruel to them.
She wanted to make them happy, she wanted to make them pleased with themselves, but how could she if she couldn't even help herself?
The feeling of failure was always at the edge of her heart.
This is why she was always so silent, why she tried to be as enigmatic as she could be—even with strangers. Because, a part of her wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing anymore, there was so much doubt and uncertainty in her that she simply held her tongue and only spoke when spoken too. It was miserable, it is miserable, but what else is there to do? What else can she do? In the end, by her Master's side she'd find herself quietly remembering things she wasn't sure happened.
It was almost time to go back.
She wanted to help them, and she wanted to be the older sister that could help them and they would look up to. Yet, sometimes she truly felt powerless.
The fog was only getting thicker, it was apparent that the surrealism of the reality was bringing forth the Velvet space once more, she was going home.
As she slipped into that all too familiar environment, she thought of her loved ones and the memories she believed they shared. She wasn't sure they were real, she wasn't sure if she was real. In the end though, they held each other together. No matter the sorrow or disappointment, no matter the trials or problems, they were to be there for each other. It may be difficult to find their purpose, it may be hard for her—their eldest—to finally come to terms with herself and finally reach a calm, but for themselves, for their Master, for the cosmos, they had a plan to follow through with.
If anything that could be their purpose, that could help guide them in the right direction to a solace.
She knew that's what her sister and brother wanted, solace. They could have it, she could have it too, her Master as well, they just needed to keep going. The universe couldn't be so cruel to them forever, eventually it will open up new paths to them—and when it does, they will bravely step ahead to face a bright new future.
She smiled to herself as she felt that strange space fit around her.
They were family, they only had each other, and together they would await destiny as only they could.
