And to all a Good Night
TDK Joker, most everything else BTAS feel. Yeah yeah, It's Christmas okay? I can't help if the holidays inspire me! Anyways. Hope you like it, this is my first attempt at writing something cute and fluffy.
Part I: The Plot is revealed
A young mother in the biggest mall in Gotham was tired and frazzled. Her toddler kept crying to get out of the stroller, she still hadn't done her Christmas shopping with Christmas only three days away, and she had burned her hand on her curling iron that morning. The toddler, a girl about two and a half, with feathery blond hair and green eyes red from crying started fussing again because of the lack of movement. The mother put a hand to her forehead and gave in, lifting the girl out of the stroller. After setting her on the ground with her teddy, she turned back to the clothes rack, glad that the wails had stopped.
The little girl got to her feet and wandered off on her short legs through the forest of clothes racks, stands, and shoppers. Holding her teddy, she wandered out of the women's department and into the shoe section where the sales associates smiled at her and looked around for her mother, but when they looked back, she was gone. Off she went into the perfume section of the store, intrigued by the mirrors and sweet smells.
Back in the women's department, the young mother looked around for her child, who was nowhere to be seen. "Where have you gone off to now?" she asked, exasperated.
The van pulled up by a side entrance and thugs in clown masks piled out, along with a woman in a red and black-checkered outfit and jester hat. Her face was painted white, and she wore a black hourglass mask with a dash of red lipstick.
Her voice had a slight twang to it, like you would find at a preppy all girls' school. "You boy's get the cash, I'm going shopping!" She grabbed pistol from the van and danced into the mall, a big smile on her face. She did a cartwheel into the purse section, where most people were too shocked and cowed to stop her from taking what she wanted. This was Gotham; when stores got robbed, you put your head down and stayed out of the way to avoid being shot. Heroism only got you killed here. After settling on a big black purse, she tumbled into the shoe section. She grabbed four pairs of shoes: black boots that came up to her knees, sparkly sandals, tan wedges, and red stilettos, and stuffed them in her purse. Then, following her nose, she moved to the perfume and jewelry section.
This was, of course, Harley Quinn, the Joker's hench girl. Her outfit was actually a harlequin costume, and she was nimble and quick from years as a gymnast.
Harley helped herself to a pearl necklace and diamond watch before trying out all different kinds of perfume. Gee, I wonder what Mistah J will want for Christmas. She loved the man, but did he have to be so hard to shop for? She was considering everything from playing cards, a new green vest, and a Rolex watch to new weapons and a Santa hat. Then she had a most brilliant idea. That's it!!! She went and got it, sticking it in her purse. What else did she need? She had the urge to run her hand through her blond hair and remembered just in time she was in uniform. She settled for patting her hat and shaking the two points that she stuck her pigtails in. She glanced at her reflection in a mirror, running a hand over her hips and thinking. What did one call the two things that hung down from her cap? Actually, they looked like ears. She shook them again. Oh well.
"Mama?' a small voice asked her. Harley glanced down to see the cutest cherub of a baby she had ever seen.
"Awww. Hi sweetie!" She bent down. The little girl was carrying a teddy bear. "What's your name?"
The girl stuck her thumb in her mouth and didn't answer.
Harley tried again. "Where's your mommy honey?"
"Mama?" The little girl asked again, looking around confusedly, tears welling up in her eyes. Harley could see the tear tracks that had previously been there. Had she been left? What sort of a person would leave a poor defenseless baby in the middle of the mall all by herself?
She made her decision. "C'mon baby, you're coming home with me. I'll be your mommy." She scooped the child up in her arms after putting her pistol in the new purse. "Everything's gonna be a-okay." The little girl buried her face in Harley's neck, tired from her ordeal. Harley planted her on her hip, grabbed the bottle of perfume, and hightailed it out to the van. A cop accosted her, trying to arrest her, but she pulled out a vial of laughing gas, screwed it onto the pistol, and fired it at him. He was laughing up a storm when she left.
Back at the van, she handed her bags to one of the clowns and climbed into the passenger seat. The driver asked her, "Where'd you pick up the kid?"
"In the mall."
"Huh. Didn't know you could get kids there. What's the boss gonna say about it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Is he gonna be okay wit the kid?"
Harley hugged the tiny girl protectively. She actually hadn't thought about how the Joker would take it. "Why shouldn't he be okay with it? I'm the one that's taking care of her."
"Okay," he shrugged, and put the van in gear.
Best case scenario: he'd think it a marvelous joke. Worse case scenario: …she didn't want to think about worse case scenario. It made her head hurt. She occupied the time riding back to the hideout whispering to the girl, who was playing with her teddy, and thinking of names to call her.
Press the magic button and make my day! :)
