A/N: Bellatrix has suffered a lot of heart-ache in her life, none greater than this. sad!RodBella. AU. Warning: Child death.

Submission for:

Hogwarts Fair 2014 Challenge/Competition: Tower of Terror Bungee Jump - Write about someone getting cold feet about becoming a parent.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments): Ancient Runes Assignment #6 - Write about a Death Eater. Prompt: sadness

Greek Mythology Mega Prompt Challenge: Muses - Write a tragic story.

Favorite Character Challenge: Bellatrix Lestrange

The Haunted House: Fire

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.


Bellatrix never really thought about her future when she was young. It was never something to worry about. She would marry a wealthy pureblood and produce an heir and continue her life as a pureblood wife and mother. She never had much interest in children or being a wife, but she knew her duty. Duty came before desire.

She had been married to Rodolphus Lestrange, a man whose family traced back a few generations though not as many as her own. They had a wonderful, small affair consisting of just their families. There was no need for luxury or fanfare. This was a business deal, not a show of love.

But Bellatrix hadn't realized how much that would change. She didn't plan to slowly fall in love for her husband. She did not plan to wake up with a smile in the morning in someone's warm embrace. She did not plan to look forward to his arrival home every night so they could dine together.

But she also didn't plan to get pregnant. Bellatrix was beside herself when she first saw the signs. She had been always been told she was a horrid person. She was brash and bold. She was abrasive and cruel. She was hard to be around, though Rodolphus would jokingly called her his ray of sunshine. She was ruthless and bloodthirsty. She couldn't do this. She couldn't be a mother. She had no care or compassion for a small child. She was going to get rid of it. She had to. There was no place for a child in the Dark Lord's plans.

It was pure coincedence that Rodolphus had come home as the knife was poised over her abdomen. He acted quickly, not even knowing the depth of the situation but aiming to avoid it. The knife clattered to the floor as she fell into his chest in tears. She couldn't find the words to explain everything that had happened to her. But eventually she did. She poured out all her feelings and worries, all her insecurities and doubts. And as she expected from the man she loved, he washed them all away. He promised to be at her side through it all.

Though the Dark Lord did look at her oddly with her protruding belly, the pregnancy did not change her efficiency. The pregnancy was actually good for her. It made her fuse shorter and her defense higher. She was out for blood and eager to rip anyone's head off if given the slightest chance. It would always make the Dark Lord grin when she went at someone and her husband couldn't have looked prouder.

...oOo...

It was during her eighth month when disaster struck. There was to be a raid through a muggle town, strictly routine and one she had done many times before.

"Bella, I think you should stay home tonight," Rodolphus said as he donned his mask.

Bella spun on him, her temper already flaring. "What are you talking about? There's no way I'm staying home."

"I just think in your condition," Rodolphus began but was quickly interrupted by his wife's finger in his face.

"My condition hasn't affected me before and it won't now," she said as she picked up her own mask.

He reached out and placed a soft hand on hers. "I just worry. It's getting very soon and anything could happen," he said softly.

She was about to shout again but she saw the look in his eyes. She sighed and said, "I know, Roddy, but don't worry. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself."

Rodolphus nodded, knowing that would be the best he would get from her. Bellatrix was a definitely a firecracker. He leaned down and gave her a soft kiss, "Please be careful."

...oOo...

There was fire everywhere around her and she could feel the fire building within her as well. She laughed madly at all the destruction around her. The muggle homes were falling apart as the flames consumed the wooden walls. The lawns and trees were set ablaze. Those that were still alive were running about and screaming in terror. Zap! One less headless chicken running about.

Bellatrix stepped forward, searching throughout the rubble for one they may have missed, one they could not leave forgotten.

Then she saw him. A little boy cowering behind an overturned chair. His eyes were large and his face dirty and scorched. He shivered under her intense stare, frozen in place with his hands over his mouth. She approached him slowly, taking in is other features. He had light brown eyes, currently watery, and black curly hair which would have looked adorable when clean. He looked like what her own baby could look like, which caused Bellatrix to stop as well.

"Bella!" a shout was heard before there was a creaking and splintering sound, and then darkness.

...oOo...

Bellatrix woke up with a groan, her body heavy against the soft sheets and pillows. She was in her bedroom back at home it seemed. Her body felt fuzzy and her skin slightly tingly, but other than that she felt fine.

She rolled her head to the side to look into her husband's face, suddenly feeling his hand in hers. She wanted to smile. They got back from the raid, everything was fine. She was alive, he was alive, they weren't caught.

But his face was grave and full of sadness. All the life had been sapped from him and he had never looked older than he had right now. She searched his face for a sign or a cause to his distress but could find none. She opened her mouth but he shook his head to stop her, a few of his tears slipping out of the corner of his eyes. He rubbed his thumb over her hand and said softly, "He's gone."

It took her a few seconds to understand what he meant. He's gone? Who's gone?

But then she stopped and she listened, she felt, and only her lone heartbeat echoed through her body. Her gaze fell down to the sheets over her body and she could see two little peaks where her feet were at the end of the bed. There was no longer her belly blocking her view.

Tears came to her own eyes and Bellatrix cried silently against her husband's chest. He's gone.