Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but Kosame and Kaira are mine. Take them and DIE!
Friends! Countrymen! Readers! Lend me your eyes! Today I bring to a spectacular spectacle seperate from all others. The debut of Real Shinobi, a Naruto-fic about Real Shinobi. No retarded teenage love confessions, or stupid phrases like "acknowledge me," and"precious person," and "prove my existence." Just blood, sweat, and tears.
Now, without further ado, I bring to you...
The Hokage Smokes
It's amazing what one can discern from observation. You could find out nearly everything about a person from observing them, just by reading posture and tenseness, speech patterns, speed or preciseness of movement… it was like fitting a puzzle together; taking small, insignificant things and joining them into one whole to make a person.
Sarutobi was good at that, putting puzzles, or people rather, together. In some instances he allowed his feelings to overshadow his mind, but for the most part, he was an excellent observer.
And one day, just like every other day, Naruto came to his office, an insult on his lips. "Urutora jiji!"
However, today there had been an influx of paperwork, and such, an abundance of paper clips. Without wasting time to think, Sandaime thumped a paperclip at Naruto, smacking him soundly in the middle of his forehead.
"Ahh!" Naruto yelled, falling on his ass. "Hey! What's the big idea?!" he questioned, incensed, rubbing his abused cranium.
"Now is not a good time, Naruto. I'm very busy."
"Busy, shmizy." The boy grumbled. "I'll come back later."
Almost two hours passed, and the Hokage was still slaving away. He could designate someone else to the paperwork, but he was so old… there wasn't much else he felt like doing, really. He either smoked, read Hentai, or… smoked. His wife had died years ago, his son was one of the Fire Lord's twelve guards, and his daughter understood his duties as Hokage and didn't demand much of his time. He had done so much paperwork over the years it was almost sec-
His door banged open. "Urutora jiji!"
A paper clip was flying at the young Uzumaki's head before he had finished speaking, but the boy managed to slide to the side just as the paper clip whizzed by his head, leaving a small cut along his temple.
Naruto raised his hand to his head, staring at the fingers as they came away with a thin line of blood along the tips. "You… you… you cut me!"
"Aww shut up," the Hokage growled, moving to check on the boy. He was only mildly worried about the cut, as it so shallow, but as he leaned down to look at his head, the cut had already healed.
He drew back, his face pensive. Disregarding the healing, the boy shouldn't have been able to avoid the paper clip as much as he did. He knew from experience; the Nidaime used to do the same thing to him, and it had taken him two and a half weeks till he had been able to avoid the "flying-paperclips-of-death."
"How did you move fast enough to avoid the paperclip?" He asked, stroking his beard.
"I dunno," Naruto replied, shrugging. "I just… moved."
"Describe it."
"What?"
"When you moved. When you realized a paper clip was flying towards your head. Describe it."
"Ummm… I said Ura-" and here the Hokage frowned at the boy, another paperclip appearing magically wedged between his thumb and middle finger, "-ahem, those words, and then I saw the paper clip coming towards me, and then I moved." He shrugged. "I don't exactly know what your asking me," he paused, eyeing the paperclip still in Sarutobi's hand, "Sandaime-sama."
Said Hokage grinned at the respect shown by Naruto. "Boy, we might just make a Shinobi out of you yet!" But first… I need to test my theory.
How the Hokage could come up with a theory based of such little information was a mystery, but he did indeed, put his theory to the test.
There was only so much a child could take, he reasoned, puffing his pipe. Over and over again, he had told them that the boy was nothing more than that- a boy, no more, no less. Did a scroll with a kunai sealed into it become a kunai when the sealing was done? No, they answered. It was scroll with a kunai sealed in it. Is Naruto the Kyuubi? Yes, they screamed. He was an abonimation who deserved no more than death.
Sarutobi could only do so much for the boy; as Hokage, he had a slew of other responsibilities that demanded far more time and effort. Just a year ago, Kumo nin had attempted to kidnap the Hyuuga heiress; it was only just the past week that Konoha and Kumo settled on a fickle "peace" treaty. They had demanded Hyuuga Hiashi… he sent them a battalion of ANBU instead. Needless to say, the display of power from the fabled "God of Shinobi" quieted all whispers of war… now there were just mumbles.
Noticing that his thought's were wandering, and the substance in his pipe was more potent than the last bunch, he signaled for the ANBU at the doorway to let Naruto in.
The door creaked open slowly, revealing a disheveled young lad, his age indeterminate, though it was apparent he was very young. Spiked blond hair hung in chunks about his head, and his bright blue eyes didn't look so bright. The marks on his cheeks, three horizontal lines, had grown thicker over the pass few weeks. His clothes, or lack thereof, consisted of a tattered pair of pants, that could've once been orange, and a slip of cloth over his torso that used to be shirt.
"Naruto, come, sit." He said, once is was apparent the child would not move on his own.
Naruto glided towards him, slipping into one of the chairs in front of his desk.
"Well?" He paused. "Talk boy." he said gruffly, frowning. "Did something happen?" he asked, this question directed at the ANBU standing near the door.
"No Hokage-sama," was the instant reply.
"Then why-"He was cut off by laughter. Sarutobi smiled himself, watching Naruto laugh.
"I was just joking around, jiji. Trying to see if I could be like Stiff-san over there."
The Hokage chuckled at the barb, taking a long, slow puff from his pipe. "So tell me about your training." He said, leaning back in his chair.
Naruto drew in a deep breath. "It was hard at first… it was so dark and scary. But then I made my first kill, and my eyes got better, and my hearing got better, and then I could really smell and it turned into this whole other world! I climbed into the trees and watched wolves hunt… they hunt in packs ya' know."
"Yes, Naruto, I know. The ANBU was designed after the hunting methods of wolves." This was a lie, but the correlation between animal and shinobi would help the boy understand.
"Anyway, I watched them for days and days and days, even weeks, trying to learn how to walk like them and hunt like them, but since there was only one of me, I couldn't really use their umm… methods to the full… the full… extent!"
"And who did you hear that phrase from Naruto-kun?"
"Stiff-san number three." He said seriously.
The Hokage laughed long and hard, more from his pipe than anything, and gestured for Naruto to continue with his story.
"Anyway, after a while, the wolves… accepted me. I ran with them for four whole weeks jiji! Four! And now… I want ramen. Forest food is good, but nothing can touch ramen… so can I go now? I'll tell you more later, but I'm sure one of the Stiff-san's will re… re…. reiterate what I said… or something stupid like that."
"Very well, Naruto, but I want you back here within the hour."
The boy was out the door before he finished speaking, and he was amazed at how silently he moved.
"Ahem, "Stiff-san"? Would you like to reiterate, as Naruto so eloquently put it?"
"Hai, Hokage-sama. Uzumaki-san adapted to the wilderness within a week… it was almost like he was supposed to be there."
"Oh?" Sarutobi questioned, scratching his beard.
"Hai. He had the jitters for a few hours, but he happened upon a rabbit in the night… I don't know how he managed to kill it, but he did, and the next day… it seemed as if eating that rabbit awakened his wild nature, so to speak. Over the course of the three months he successfully emulated the silent running of the wolves. His hearing, smelling, and night vision progressed far pass normal human standards."
"Like the Inuzaka?" the Hokage interrupted.
"Hai. Very similar, if not slightly more advanced. Wolves are, after all, more savage creatures than nin-dogs."
"That they are, Stiff-san, that they are," he said distractedly, lost in his thoughts. He ignored Tenzou's slight ire at still being referred to as Stiff-san. "What else?"
"We could mask our presence from the wolves, but after a while… he noticed us. At night, and in the early morning, we would see him watching us. Kosame and Kasia turned it into a game. For an entire day they would play "tag" with him. They restricted their speed, of course, and Naruto never won, but he came far too close for a seven year old."
"What else did you notice?"
"He loves you very much, Hokage-sama. And he's ready."
"For what?"
"Kage Bunshin."
The Hokage frowned at Tenzou. His request was so… odd. Most jounin knew the jutsu, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to see what Naruto could do with the technique, but, "Why would we, oh, excuse me, why should you teach a seven-year old Kage Bunshin?"
"Because he is his son… because he has more chakra than us both… because he could become something great."
"Great, you say? With this one technique?"
"Uzumaki-san attained something in that forest… a sense of peace, something intagible, something that I cannot explain. His will of fire is strong, Hokage-sama." He paused, pleading in earnest. "We needn't teach him anything else, and kami knows he will need the extra help, with all the shinobi families having children his age. Just this one technique, Hokage-sama. Just this one… he can take it to levels we have never before seen."
"Okay, Tenzou." He waved his hand, not really caring either way. At the end of the day, it'd only do to make Naruto safer… what more could he ask? "Teach him the Kage-Bunshin. Enlist him back into the academy when you do, he's missed a lot. Now leave, I've got another bowl left."
"Ahem...Just one more thing, Hokage-sama."
"What?" he asked, irritated, sliding his pipe into his mouth.
"I don't know the Kage Bunshin, sir."
Sarutobi gaped at Tenzou, pipe dangling precariously off his bottom lip. I'm surrounded by idiots…
