Lincoln started off his day with a nice good ol-jolly shit!

"OOOH YEAH!!!!!!" Lincoln shouted with glee as he released fourty six pounds of his body weight. It was nice being the first one in the bathroom after all being a nice guy for so damn long you have to have your OWN day to be an absolute asshole.

He stepped out happily.

"All yours ya funky bitch!" Lincoln said to Lori. Lori rolled her eyes.

"Everyone watch it! Its Lincolns no fucks friday!" Lori shouted to the rest of the fam.

"Fan-fucking-tastic idea Lori! Shout it out to them! There is no fuckin way that they heard me!" Lincoln yelled sarcastically.

"Sup Leni yah dumb sack a shit! Sup Luna you sad untalented herpes infested cunt! Sup Luan your jokes still sound like they fall outta your ass! Aye sup Lynn yah fuckin transexual whore on the side of the street in the ghetto! Lucy? Dammit! I was hopin you woulda just killed yourself already! Welp better luck next time. Sup Lola yah prissy bratty no good selfish little shit! Hey Lana yah filthy lil fuck! Hows it feel to be so vile that you'll never get laid? Sup Lisa try learning to socialize yah future school shooter. Aw Lily you can use my dick as a binkie if you dont shut the fuck up." Lincoln stated as he skipped passed the line marily.

"Lincoln! You clogged the fucking toilet!" Lori yelled.

"No shit sherlock!" Lincoln yelled giddily as he skipped down the stairs.

The Loud parents couldnt help but hear his words.

"Lincoln Loud!!!!" Lynn Sr. shouted "I will not tolerate that sort of language in the sanctity of my own home!"

"Oh shit dad!" Lincoln patted down his pockets and pants with a worried expression. "Im so sorry dad! Please i lost it!" Lincoln yelled pleadingly.

Lynn Sr. suddenly seemed sympathetic as well as confused." Its ok son, what did you lose?"

Lincoln looked up and smirked. "The fuck i give." He began laughing his ass off as his dad became furious.

"Oh you little fuckin shit!" Lynn Sr. reached over to try and grab Lincoln.

Lincoln moved quickly and jumped up unzipped his pants and played leap frog over his dad's head. Lincoln's sweaty, nasty, matted, hairy, and droopy balls against his dads face. The smell instantly hitting his father's nostrils and making him pass out.

Lincoln turned and grabbed his crotch and thrusted the air.

"Thats right bitch!" Lincoln shouted happily at his newfound victory.

He turned to his mother as his sisters began coming downstairs.

"Hey bitch were is our breakfast? or is your job as a dental assistant SOOOO tiring that you have to make your eleven year old son almost miss school over your lazy ass? Huh you here me you loose cunt?! Make me somee fuckin breakfast!!!!!" Lincoln shouted.

"Y-Yes sir!" his mother shouted frightened.

"Like totes great! Moms making us breakfast?" Leni asked.

gasp* "Oh my Leni! did you figure that out on your own? Damn you dumb useless fuckin bitch." Lincoln stated. "Well guess what moms only making my breakfast so all of you can get the fuck out!" Lincoln finished angrily.

All of his sisters began getting angry.

"we are gonna fuckin kill you." They said in unison.

His mother hovered over him and poured boiling hot popping oil on Lincolns head. He let out a loud screech. His hair instantly began to burn along with the skin off his face. His sisters charged and began wailing on Lincoln. They all began fucking his ass up.

In the end his cock and balls were removed and he became Bruce Jenner.

The end.