Prologue
Someday.
Just someday.
Those were the words I repeated to myself every single night. Every single thought after that just added reasons to why I didn't belong. Sure I loved my family but that life didn't feel like living, it was just existing. I felt guilty. That didn't stop my thoughts from going in that direction though. Here I was. Wishing to be go away, to travel, even if it meant loosing loved ones. It felt wrong to think this since somewhere far away HE had lost everything, everyone he had ever cared about. Even with hundreds of guilty thoughts, my decision had never changed course. I kept telling myself that if the opportunity arose, I'd go without remorse.
This was something that was hard to give a second thought to. Something that seemed almost magical, moments like these my life just chose to pass without so much as a second glance. My life just seemed keen on avoiding such things that gave too much hope like stuff that had to do with HIM. Yet I still kept whispering stolen words at the shining stars that contrasted brightly against the dark blue hue of the night sky. "Not yet.", "Just you wait." and "Someday, I'll find you." were the common phrases that were repeated over the years. These simple phrases and just the thought that he might be hearing me were what kept me believing in him, in what he stood for, in what he could and would do.
The glow of the moon fell across my face almost seeming to encourage me not to loose hope. That was the last thing I was worried about. I knew that it didn't matter how old I got because the hope that was originally there would always be there and with good reason too.
My mom always told everyone who would listen that it was just a lousy obsession that would soon pass but she couldn't have ever been more wrong.
The day I left was the only proof needed. The day she took me to HIM.
