Nairomi, Africa
Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, and Kara Kent drove through the deserts of Nairomi, Africa in search of an international story involving terrorism, money laundering, and CIA cover ups. Jimmy was driving, Lois was in the passenger seat working furiously on a crossword puzzle, and Kara sat in the backseat bored.
"Jimmy, I think you're lost. There's no such place as Nairomi, Africa. Africa isn't even a country, it's a continent," Kara said skeptically.
"And I should trust an alien to know Earth geography?" Jimmy shot back.
"It's probably Narobi, you just spelt it wrong," Kara accused.
"Lois?" Jimmy wondered.
"What?" Lois asked distracted.
"When you printed our tickets were you sure you got our destination right?" Jimmy asked becoming skeptical himself.
"Yeah, Nairomi, spelled N,A,R,O,M,I," Lois said disinterested.
"I think you forgot an 'I' in there. Are you sure the M wasn't a B?" Jimmy asked.
Lois simply shrugged. "We're here. Let's make the best of it."
Kara rolled her eyes and the three got out of the SUV at the gates of an African town. Immediately, militants with AK-47 rifles approached and placed hoods over their heads. "Like this is going to do anything," Kara mocked.
The three were led and pushed towards an open square. The three were then brought to their knees except Kara who remained standing despite the militant's efforts. "Alright," Kara said going to her knees.
They then took their hoods off. Lois was placed right in front of an unknown African general. Taking out her notebook, she went right to work. "So...general, are you a terrorist?" she asked bluntly.
"Excellent question, really?" Jimmy mocked.
"You want to do my job?" she shot back.
"Yes!" Jimmy replied.
"Well, you can't. I'm a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and have awards in...," Lois rambled on.
"They didn't tell me the interview was with a lady," the general interrupted.
"I'm not a lady," Lois began.
"Really?" the general asked surprised.
Lois sighed and Jimmy started laughing. "Let me finish...I'm a journalist."
"What I am...is a man with nothing, except for a love for my people," the general began.
"Who's paying for these security contractors?" Lois asked.
"Who pays for the drones that pass over our heads at night?" the general asked rhetorically.
One of the security contractors took Jimmy's camera and opened it exposing the film. "My safari...," Jimmy groaned.
The security contractor continued dissecting the camera until he found an unusual device. "CIA," he said simply.
"They're tracking us!" the general said alarmed. The security contractors forced Jimmy to the ground. "I should have known that deal was too good to be true," Jimmy said dryly referring to his new camera.
The general took out his pistol and aimed at Jimmy. "It's okay, Lois," Jimmy said nonchalantly. The general fired but nothing happened to Jimmy other than him flinching with anticipation.
Kara was there immediately with a bullet in her hand. "Faster than a speeding bullet," she smirked.
"Who are you?" the general asked fearfully.
"Haven't you guessed? I'm Supergirl," Kara smiled. Moments later, everyone was on the ground knocked out and disarmed.
"CIA, Jimmy, really?" Lois asked disappointed.
"How was I supposed to know?" Jimmy said innocently.
"My whole interview was ruined," Lois said unhappily.
"We don't know who that guy was or where we are," Jimmy pointed out.
"While I knocked out those guys, I flew around the Earth a few times. I know exactly where we are," Kara said pleased with herself.
"I call shotgun," Jimmy said instantly.
Batman V Supergirl
Downtown Metropolis
Kara sat in an easy chair watching the news in her cramped Metropolis apartment. A Senatorial hearing was taking place and it was about her. A woman was commenting on the devastation that occurred in Metropolis when Zod and crew came down. "Everyone has been so caught up with what Supergirl can do, that we haven't asked what she should do. Let the record show that this committee holds her responsible," the Junior Senator from Kentucky said.
Kara barked out a laugh and continued to drink her soda. "She will never answer to you," the woman said bitterly.
Kara turned the TV off cutting off the rest of the hearing. "That's right. I'm answerable to no one...no one!" she said triumphantly.
"Can you get the mail?" Lois, her roommate asked.
Kara rolled her eyes. "Fine."
Kara came back with a dozen letters and upon entering the front door saw Lois in the tub. "Wow, Lois, the whole hallway could have seen you," Kara said as she quickly closed the door.
"I don't care," Lois said bitterly.
Kara put the mail down and came into the bathroom. "Are we having a post-traumatic stress bathtub scene?"
"I could have died," she said.
Kara shook her head. "Yeah right."
"What if you're not there the next time?" Lois asked.
"Maybe you should stop covering international stories and get a desk job?" Kara suggested.
"I can't do that either. I am a Pulitzer Prize...," Lois said.
"I know. I got it," Kara interrupted.
Kara got in the tub soaking her socks and blue jeans up to the knees. "What are you doing?" Lois asked uncertain.
"It's okay, Lois," Kara said soothingly.
"No, this is not okay," Lois said becoming uncomfortable in the tub.
"Don't fight this," Kara said getting closer to Lois.
"I said no! We're roommates not...," Lois said as she avoided Kara.
Kara shrugged. "Good," she said as she got out of the tub.
"What was that all about?" Lois demanded.
"You still thinking about Africa?" Kara asked.
"No, I'm thinking about how you violated my space," Lois said outraged.
Kara smiled smugly. "Problem solved," she said walking out of the bathroom.
"You're mopping that up," Lois said referring to the puddles Kara left behind.
Gotham Outskirts
Bruce Wayne casually exited the elevator and walked into the bat cave in an expensive suit. No one would have ever believed this same person had just freed some Asian prostitutes, apprehended the criminal responsible, and then branded said criminal with a hot bat-shaped poker. Bruce went past the old robin costume that had graffiti all over it and a bullet hole in its chest. He gave it a sad reflective look.
"Still working? You're slow in your old age, Alfred," Bruce commented as he walked by.
"Fuck you, too, Master Wayne," Alfred replied not looking up from his work.
Bruce walked over to his bat computer while Alfred finished on a new armored mask. "Last night was productive?" Alfred asked.
"Nope, low level. No experience points," Bruce said disappointed.
Alfred slapped down a newspaper showing a branded criminal being taken away by police. Bruce smirked at the picture. "New rules?" Alfred asked.
"Nothing's changed, we've always been criminals," Bruce replied.
"Ah, but everything has changed, Master Wayne. You took off that man's shirt and branded him. Is there anything else you want to tell me?" Alfred asked knowingly.
"No," Bruce shook his head.
There was an awkward silence between the two men. "I'm not GAY, Alfred," Bruce said suddenly. "How many women do I have to fuck to convince you?"
"You know what they say, Master Wayne, it only takes one to end a perfect record," Alfred replied.
Bruce glared at Alfred and concentrated on his youtube videos. The video showed a battle between Zod and Supergirl but the two of them were going so fast that the video could barely track their movements. "If I fucked an 'alien' female then Alfred would have nothing to say," Bruce thought to himself.
"You know what you have to do," Alfred said.
"I have to kill her," Bruce said resolved. "I mean...I have to fuck her first and then kill her," Bruce corrected himself. "The rules have changed, Alfred. I am going to start killing people like how I was in the 90s."
Alfred merely smiled. "Very good, Sir."
Downtown, Metropolis
Kara was cooking eggs for breakfast while only wearing a bra as she usually did. "Another man accused of child molestation was branded by the Batman. He is the second man to wear this brand. Many criminal experts believe that anyone branded this way will be the subject to attacks and death in prison," the newscaster reported.
The newscaster then went over to an elderly Commissioner Gordon for a statement. "What has caused the Batman to change tactics so drastically, Commissioner?"
"I wouldn't say it's a change in tactics," Commissioner Gordon disagreed. "Before, he would place that hot branding iron up their ass. Now, he's branding them on the chest to make it more visible is all."
"Is this acceptable in Gotham?" the newscaster asked.
"No comment," Gordon replied.
"Nice," Kara smiled.
Lex Corp. Metropolis
Two US Senators ventured into Lex Luther's office building and found their way to an indoor basketball court. They approached a bald-headed man in an expensive suit, a man with a muscular physique and confident expression, and who wore a number of rings on his big hands.
"Mr. Lex Luther?" Senator June Finch presumed.
"Ah! No, that would be me," the real Lex Luther corrected. He was a scrawny young man with wild dirty blond hair wearing casual clothes. "He's one of my body guards," he smiled awkwardly.
"Of course," Senator Finch said embarrassed.
"Sorry for the appearance, Senator. I did not realize you were here," Lex said shaking both their hands. "How you doing?"
"Really great," Senator Finch said condescendingly.
Lex smiled and there was an awkward silence between all three of them. "Want to see my rock?"
Lex led the two Senators to his laboratory which featured a glowing green rock in a case. "What does this have to do with national security?" Senator Finch asked.
"National security? Oh no, planetary security," Lex corrected. "This rock was found courtesy the world engine in the Indian Ocean. What we have found is that it can cause cellular degradation in Kryptonians," Lex explained.
"It can kill Supergirl," the male Senator realized.
"Right, we could turn this little rock into a bullet and bye-bye Supergirl," Lex grinned.
"Why would we do that?" Senator Finch asked.
"Supergirl could destroy this world if she wanted to. She could force the government to do whatever she desired including marching in parades with pretty flowers," Lex began. "I am not saying we should use it but if the time comes when we have it, well, we have it."
"Now, this is just a sample. We have found a much larger sample, but we require an import license to bring it to the United States so that it can be weaponized," Lex said.
"You want to weaponize this?" Senator Finch asked incredulous.
"Of course not, Ma'am. The Department of Defense will take the mineral and their people will hold it. We merely wish to be consultants," Lex said reasonably.
"What do you want from us?" the male Senator asked.
"We need a little funding to begin experiments on the mineral. That's where you two come in. We also want access to the Kryptonian ship and the body," Lex said.
"I don't know...," the male Senator said undecided.
"We will donate a lot of money to your next campaign, Senator," Lex said bluntly.
"Done!" the male Senator said pleased and shook Lex's hand.
"What? How can you do that?" Senator Finch asked outraged.
"I am in the majority. I would like to keep it that way. If Supergirl tries to conquer the world, who do you think they're going to blame? Yeah, fuck that. I'm covering my ass. Lex, you can have whatever you want," the male Senator said.
"One silver bullet coming up," Lex said happily.
