A/N: December '07: A sequel chapter has now been added to this story for your reading convenience! After much consideration, I believe that I may continue this fiction as an entire story... yep, that's right, there may be more chapters! But if you want more of this particular plot line and story arc, you really need to let me, the author, know! Honestly, if you want more, than I will write more! But I need feedback, first.
This piece of fiction (the first chapter) was written for Albur's "Past Experiences" challenge over at Trillian4210's forum in November of '06, and I decided to continue it. Constructive criticism and reviews are always welcome and very very appreciated! I had a lot of fun with this. Many thanks to my dear friend Igrayne01, who helped me immensely when I got stuck with some plot ideas. I owe this one to you, girl!
-If you haven't read my previous story revolving around Atton and the Exile, her name is prounounced "glee-lee" for reference.
Disclaimer: Atton Rand and all recognizable characters belong to Obsidian Entertainment, but the name "Glili DeGuerre" is all mine. Other than that, I own nothing, but if I did I'd be a very happy girl!
When the Ebon Hawk had touched down upon the bustling planet of Nar Shaddaa, Glili DeGuerre couldn't fathom a more pungent smell. But upon arriving in the refugee sector, she realized that it was indeed much worse…
"Oh, Force…"
As the horrible stench overwhelmed her olfactory senses, Glili resisted the urge to cover her nose with her hand, trying to come off as polite among the displaced war veterans. Atton, however, noticed her gesture of discomfort as he accompanied her through the slums of the Smuggler's Moon.
"You'll get used to it," he said reassuringly, giving a characteristic smirk as he patted her on the back. "It takes time, but you'll get used to it."
"Thanks for the encouragement ," Glili said, with a hint of sarcasm. "I've never been here before, so it's nice to have someone who knows a bit of information about this planet."
"Yeah, well there's really not a lot to tell about this place. Nothing you can't get out of a holovid, anyway. This planet is a criminal's dream come true. Enough said."
Glili nodded, surveying the surroundings of the impoverished sector.
"I'm gonna take a look around and ask if anyone knows about this Jedi master we're looking for," Atton continued. "What's his name again? Zig-Ali Kay…"
"You mean Zez-Kai Ell?" she corrected politely.
"Yeah, him too." Atton winked at her as Glili rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't doubt he's here. I mean, if you want to get lost, this would be the place. Fat chance anyone's gonna find you. Even another Jedi would have trouble sorting through this mess. Uh… no offense or anything."
"None taken," said Glili. "Alright, well good luck. Hopefully our trip here won't be in vain."
With that, Atton and Glili headed in different directions, trying to cover as much ground as possible in their limited timeframe. Twilight had already begun to fall upon the sector and soon the majority of its inhabitants would return to their humble living quarters. She absentmindedly watched Atton as he started conversation with a young woman and to her surprise, a heavily accented voice sounded very close to her ear.
"You should be more wary of the ones you travel with, offworlder."
Glili spun around to face a blue male Twi'lek, a common sight upon the troubled planet. His demeanor was friendly, but something about the way he beckoned her sent a wave of uneasiness through her senses. She would have smiled at him in pure politeness if not for the rude way he had addressed her. Instead, she placed her hands upon her hips in an imposing stance.
"Excuse me?"
"Your human companion," the Twi'lek elaborated. "The male. We have met before."
"Huh. Is that so?" asked Glili. "Are you sure you're not mistaken? I mean, he's a pretty average lookin' guy… it's possible that you could be confusing him with another tall, human male."
The Twi'lek raised a cerulean eyebrow at her.
"Humans are not as common on this planet as you may think, offworlder. And I never forget a face, despite the fact that he has changed much. His name is Atton, is it not?"
Her eyes narrowed at the alien. "Yes… but how-?"
"That was the name I knew him by, many years ago... and I have not seen him since he came to this planet years into the Jedi Civil War," he replied emotionlessly. "He claimed to have been displaced after serving in the war. Judging by the look upon your face, he did not inform you of this?"
"No… no he didn't," Glili said, shaking her head. "He never mentioned anything about the war."
"Then he is lying to you. I know for a fact that he has been here. Do no trust him. He is not who you believe him to be."
He leaned in closer to her, lowering his voice to a harsh whisper as Glili's fair brow creased in apprehension.
"He is a killer, tried and true."
The man's disconcerting words hit Glili with full force and she froze momentarily as an icy chill sent a tingling sensation down her spine. Her breath hitched slightly in her chest and although she wanted to speak further to the man in order to find out how Atton had history with him, it seemed that she could not find the words as she remained stunned into silence.
"I can give you nothing more than this warning," the Twi'lek said in finalization. "The rest is up to you, but keeping such company will only cause pain for both of you in the long run. Keep that in mind. "
Glili watched numbly as her informant quickly disappeared into the distance of the refugee sector, leaving her with a thousand questions whizzing furiously through her brain. A part of her doubted the unfamiliar alien's words, but he had spoken with such conviction that she couldn't help but wonder if he was telling her the truth.
The Exile spent a good portion of time strolling through the sector and speaking with several of its occupants, but she found that it was extremely difficult to concentrate upon the task at hand. Despite her most fervent efforts to calm her racing mind, her troubled thoughts seemed to continuously drift to Atton. Her gaze fell upon the scoundrel several times during her conversations with the refugees. She watched him from a distance, anticipating his every move as if he'd suddenly show her a glimpse of the killer within…but when he finally approached her again, Glili found it incredibly difficult to find any obvious evidence of his supposed inner-murderer.
"Hey, babe," he drawled casually, approaching her with his usual swagger. "Any luck?"
"No," she snapped. "And please, don't call me 'babe'."
Atton raised his arms, facing his palms outward as if offended.
"Geesh… no need to get defensive about it. I didn't have any luck, either, if that's why you're so frustrated. These people are even more clueless than I thought."
He paused for a beat to observe her, noticing that Glili appeared uncharacteristically distraught.
"You all right? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."
"I'm fine," she said hastily.
"You sure? You're not lookin' so well. You have the expression of a stuck mynock, now that I think of it."
"I'm just a little tired, is all," she lied. "It's been an exhausting day."
Atton took a moment to glance at the sky, as the faint light that shone through the sector began to succumb to the inevitable darkness of nightfall.
"Well, it is getting dark…" he started. "Why don't you turn in for the night? You know, head back to the Hawk and get some rest? That way you can get a fresh start for tomorrow. I'll escort you back, if you want."
Glili tossed the idea around in her mind for a few seconds before she noticed Atton's peculiar choice of words.
"Wait… what do you mean, 'escort me back'? You aren't staying on The Hawk?"
"Are you kidding me?" he laughed. "While the Refugee Sector may be sleeping, the rest of Nar Shaddaa comes alive. I thought I'd take a trip to the local cantina. You know, ease my mind and relax a bit, maybe have a couple Jumas and play a round or two of Pazaak. And if we're lucky, I was hoping to find some information about our lost Jedi Master."
She highly doubted that Atton's intentions of finding valuable information were sincere, especially if he planned on gambling and becoming intoxicated to some extent, but the notion was appealing to Glili, nonetheless… especially since it would give her the perfect opportunity to inquire about Atton's past and his history with the Twi'lek.
"In that case," said Glili, "I'm coming with you. People are known to lower their inhibitions and let their guard down in cantinas, so this may just be the opportunity we need to find some much-needed information."
"Persistent as ever, eh? Can't say I'm surprised," remarked Atton, "In any case, I don't think you'll be disappointed. Even if you don't find any information, we'll still have a good time. I'll even buy you a drink, if you want."
"Thanks, but I don't drink."
"Oh, right. Jedi restraint and all. Well, then you can just enjoy my company while we try to find some information about Zippy-Kay Lala…"
"For the last time, it's Zez-Kai Ell!" Glili scolded, once again rolling her eyes at the man. "At least get it right!"
Atton wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders, punching her upper arm lightly as they made their way out of the refugee sector.
"I know, I know… I'm just screwing with you! You need to lighten up!"
Although Glili attempted to be firm with him, a smile crept unbidden onto her face. Atton's genuine and lighthearted attitude towards her was making it increasingly difficult to believe the Twi'lek's stinging words. Deciding not to dwell on it too deeply, she tried to enjoy Atton's company as they made the relatively short trip towards the Entertainment promenade.
The main route towards the cantina was startlingly barren compared to when they had first arrived. Only a few straggling citizens remained active at such a late hour, along with several shady-looking shop owners and provocative women. The aura of the sector at nightfall was eerie, to say the least, and a feeling of desperation seemed to be apparent at the tip of Glili's senses. Despite her Jedi status and unparalleled capability with a lightsaber, she found herself sticking close to Atton, as he seemed more familiar with such surroundings.
Glili tried her best to shake the feeling of uneasiness coming over her, but she couldn't deny that somehow, something felt wrong…
She followed Atton down a particularly grim-looking alleyway that lead towards the cantina, and she stalled momentarily as something in the shadows caught her attention.
"Did you see that?"
Not noticing that Glili had stopped, Atton was a few feet ahead of her as he spun around to face her.
"See what? Is something up?"
Glili remained still, surveying her surroundings. "You don't sense anything?"
Atton's hand immediately came to rest upon his blaster.
"Maybe you're more tired than you thought," he said, glancing over her with concern. "You sure you don't want to head back to the ship?"
The words had scarcely left Atton's mouth when Glili felt as someone grasped her roughly from behind and a yell of surprise escaped from her lips. Before she had a chance to reach the lightsaber that hung from her belt, the cold steel of a vibroblade was held dangerously close to her neck, rendering her motionless as a wave of fear shot through her senses. Glili watched as Atton made a lightning-fast grab at his weapon, only to be stopped by the man's threatening and somewhat familiar voice.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said Glili's captor casually, pressing the metallic blade of his weapon closer to her throat. "Touch one finger upon your weapon and she dies."
As his voice echoed throughout the alley, Glili realized that her assailant was none other than the Twi'lek that she had spoken to earlier in the refugee sector.
"Drop your weapon now," the Twi'lek demanded. "Drop it and slide it over to me."
Atton hesitated, as his eyes shifted frantically from Glili's pale face to the Twi'lek that threatened her life. He couldn't get a good look at him, as his face was concealed behind Glili's blonde locks. His fingers twitched slightly, hovering over his holster where his trusty blaster lay dormant.
Becoming frustrated with Atton's disobedience, Glili's captor tightened his grip around her and the blade inched ever closer to her neck.
"Drop your weapon now or I will end her life!"
Glili took a few settling breaths, closing her eyes as she collected herself. She was helpless to do anything at the moment. This battle was for Atton and Atton alone.
"Just do it, Atton…" she stated calmly. "Please."
With a murderous intent written upon his previously calm features, Atton looked as if he wanted nothing more than to tear the alien limb from limb. He restrained himself admirably and obeyed, dropping his blasters before kicking them over to him.
"Just who the hell do you think you are?" Atton growled. "If you know what's good for you, you'll let her go. You don't know who you're dealing with."
"I know exactly who I'm dealing with, Atton Rand," came the Twi'lek's smug response.
Atton's face registered a mixture of shock and surprise, with his mouth slightly ajar.
"How do you know me?"
"Oh, I know all about your dirty little secrets… but you don't remember me, do you? I figured as much. Amazing, isn't it? How you can ruin a man's life and not even remember it as you carry on from day to day, as if nothing ever happened… how do you even sleep at night, Rand?"
"Atton," Glili gasped. "What is he talking about?"
"I don't know," he said abruptly. "I just don't know."
"Ah, but you do know, Rand. I know you remember… you just don't want to remember. After all, why would you want to remember the faces of the people whose lives you've ruined?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
The alien pivoted his neck slightly, so that his face was finally revealed from it's hiding place behind Glili. His intense yellow eyes seemed to bore into Atton's very soul, and that's when it hit him like a blaster bolt to the heart.
He had seen those eyes before.
At that moment, a flash of swirling images came rushing violently back into his head, almost beyond his control. The events of that night were still as distinct as they had been during the war, all those years ago…
Atton "Jaq" Rand stalked silently through the slums of Nar Shaddaa, holding a datapad within his grasp. A message had been encoded into the small device, impossible to read by anyone who did not know the key to the random series of galactic symbols and letters. But Jaq knew its message well. His current occupation required him to follow these blatant orders so that he may carry out his orders dutifully and without question. If he didn't, the penalty would be a fate more terrible than death, and he had no intention of allowing such a fate to befell him.
Jaq's mission was simple. A member of his squad, a young male Twi'lek by the name of Hasheem, had recently defected, disappearing without a trace. Or so it seemed for a short time, until he was tracked down and his preciously kept secret was exposed. This particular Twi'lek had ties to the Republic and during his short time as a Sith soldier, he had been feeding his cohorts valuable information regarding the war. The man was a traitor, a scoundrel, a worthless spy… and he had to be taught a lesson.
So this was where Jaq came in.
It initially occurred to him that murdering the man would solve their problem easily. However, in such a scenario, his fate would be determined swiftly and with a minimal amount of pain and suffering. In fact, according to the Sith standards, the man would be let off of hook easily, like a dead Firaxen shark that had been speared after coming too close to the shallows. He would never even know what hit him.
But of course, this was not what the Sith took pride in.
Hasheem would suffer endlessly for his betrayal, for his disloyalty, for his disgustingly false nobility… and for that reason alone, Jaq was standing outside of the apartment where the traitor's wife resided, instead of Hasheem's own hiding place.
It took Jaq a matter of seconds as he effortlessly overrode the electronic locking mechanism on the door, and he slid into the woman's modest living quarters, slinking into the room as stealthily as a shadow and just as silently. His dark clothing camouflaged him perfectly among the dim atmosphere of the apartment, with the faintly glowing rays of the moon functioning as his only light source.
As was common on such missions, Jaq wasted no time in completing his task. His silhouette opened the door to the bedchamber in a gentle gesture that was completely unnecessary, considering what he was about to do, and his lithe frame sidled into the room as he came to stand near the edge of the bed.
Jaq stood motionless, silently observing the sleeping silhouette of a Twi'lek female. Her magenta skin was bathed in the soft moonlight, illuminating her delicate features, and Jaq couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. She was so young, so peaceful, so serene… and she looked to be in a deep sleep, probably lost in some far away dream where the war was over and she was allowed to live in peace and harmony again with the love of her life… but that dream wouldn't last long. Jaq would make sure of that.
A vibroblade was suddenly pulled from its sheath at his side, gleaming menacingly as light danced upon it's blade in the darkness. Without a sympathetic thought in his mind, Jaq slit her throat in one swift, practiced, movement. She didn't have time to react or scream for help. Not a sound was emitted from her lips. Her life was quickly extinguished and she was left to lay upon her crimson sheets like a tragic portrait painted in blood.
After the deed was done, he exited the apartment and crept back into the damp alleyway as quickly as he had came, thoroughly pleased that he had succeeded in his task without delay or distraction. As he wallowed in his grim thoughts, it came as a surprise to him when he saw that a blue male Twi'lek was heading in his direction. The alien did not look worried nor concerned in any way and Jaq could tell by the lightness in his step that he must be on his way to visit a loved one… it was, without a doubt in his mind, Hasheem: the very man whose life he had just destroyed. Oddly enough, he felt no pity as they crossed paths. In fact, the Twi'lek seemed so jovial that he nodded his head in greeting, focusing his distinctly yellow eyes upon Jaq's face for a fleeting moment before continuing on his way.
And without hesitation, Atton looked straight into those eyes and smiled.
Atton set his jaw, trying to rid the horrific images from his brain and Hasheem took immediate notice of his comprehensive expression.
"Now," he said, "Do you remember, Atton?"
When Atton didn't respond, the alien sneered evilly.
"I asked you a question!" he screamed, and his blade pressed itself against Glili's throat. She released a whimper, feeling a slight trickle of blood drip down her neck.
"Yes, dammit, I remember!"
"So then you know what must be done."
Atton shook his head, trying to think of a way to reason with him. Never in his life had he imagined that he would have to deal with the repercussions of past experiences… not after they had long been forgotten and buried. Depite where he went, the crimes of his past seemed to follow him around like a shadow of death.
"Listen, I did a lot of horrible things in my past that I'm not proud of," said Atton sternly, "but you can leave her out of it. Your debt is with me, not her. So let's settle this."
Hasheem grinned, looking quite twisted.
"Funny, how hypocritical that statement is. You didn't settle your issues with me during the war. Instead, I buried my wife along with my happiness. And now, I want you to suffer as I have suffered."
"Just- just wait a minute-" Atton stammered, but he was cut off by Hasheem.
"There is no time left for words. Only actions may speak now."
"Please," said Glili quietly, speaking for the first time in several minutes. "You don't have to do this. We can settle this more peacefully."
"I have found no peace in my life," spat Hasheem, pausing momentarily as he readied his blade and leaned in close to Glili's ear. His sinister voice took the form of an inimitable whisper.
"And that is why you must die…"
In the second that the man delayed, Atton watched as Glili unexpectedly threw her head backwards in one last act of desperation, making a solid connection with the Twi'lek's face. Hasheem stumbled, releasing a string of moans as he clutched his nose. While he was distracted, Glili's lightsaber sprang to life with its sapphire blade shining like a beacon in the darkness. She turned her blade upon him, severing his weapon before holding her lighsaber threateningly, pointing its blade at his defenseless form.
"Kill me," Hasheem begged, cradling his rapidly bleeding nose in his hands. "I no longer wish to live. I no longer wish to suffer…"
Glili offered him a sympathetic expression, despite the fact that he had planned on taking her life just moments ago.
"I will not kill you…"
"She won't," said Atton darkly, as he came to stand beside her. "But I will."
Before Glili could stop him, Atton had recovered his blaster and he made no hesitation as he pulled its trigger. The bolt of energy hit Hasheem square in the chest with fatal aim, and he dropped to the ground, instantly dead. Glili spun to face Atton, looking at him incredulously as he stood with the smoking blaster still in hand and a grim expression upon his face.
After a pause of several moments, he placed his blaster back into his holster and turned to face his companion, looking her over to make sure that she was unscathed. The shallow laceration on her throat was strikingly noticable against her pale skin as he moved closer to her.
"Are you alright? It looks like you're bleeding…"
He reached out a hand to touch her and was deeply disappointed when Glili pulled away from him with a look of repulsion.
"Why did you do that?" she asked quietly.
Atton's eyes narrowed in confusion.
"What?"
"Why did you kill him? You didn't have to do that..."
"He threatened your life! What was I supposed to do? Just stand there and watch as you tried to show him the light? Sorry, babe, but I'm not that patient. The guy was clearly insane."
Glili folded her arms after extinguishing her lightsaber, regarding him with a scowl.
"Was he insane, Atton? Because from what I just witnessed, I don't think he was insane at all. Obviously, he wanted revenge… because you did something do him."
"If you'd give me a minute, I can explain..."
"No, save it," she snapped. "I don't want you to explain anything right now . I think I've seen enough for one night. As far as I'm concerned, that man was right about you."
She gestured toward Hasheem's lifeless corpse and Atton's gaze followed her line of sight.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded. Glili leaned in closer to him, focusing her eyes upon him with an intense gaze.
"You are nothing but a murderer."
The words hung heavily in the air and Glili's harsh statement sliced through Atton like a knife, cutting deeply into him and hurting just as badly. Atton snarled at her, trying to keep his bubbling emotions in check.
"You have no idea what I am."
"You're absolutely right," said Glili, throwing her hands into the air in frustration. "I don't know anything about you, Atton, because everything you've ever told me has been false. And the only way I seem to get any truth out of you is by accident. I don't even know who you are any more! Hell, I don't even know if you really are Atton!"
"I'm as Atton as Atton will ever be!" he exclaimed, pointing a threatening finger at her chest to further emphasize his statement. His dark eyes held her gaze, unflinching. "I'm a different man than I used to be. I swear to you."
"We'll see about that," she challenged. "Won't we?"
Glili pushed past him, fully intending on getting as far away from him as possible, but she was stopped in her tracks when Atton grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her backwards.
"Where do you think you're going?"
If she had been angry before, Atton's rude behavior only made her more furious, and Glili yanked herself away from his firm grasp.
"Don't touch me!" she said, with a flicker of danger in her eyes. "I'm heading back to the ship. I need to be alone for awhile."
"You can't just head back there alone," he reasoned, "You've seen how dangerous this place is. And besides that, you could get lost."
"I can fend for myself," said Glili, but her voice softened considerably. Her features seemed to reflect a remarkable sense of uncertainty towards him, mingled with a hint of sympathy and pity. "I think you should be more concerned about yourself, Atton. You're the one who seems to be lost. Maybe one of these days you'll find yourself again."
With one last lingering glance at Atton, Glili strode down the alley, leaving him standing alone in the bitter gloom of Nar Shaddaa. Never had he felt so lonely, so utterly neglected... and most of all, remorseful over the deeds of his past, as they somehow found a way of haunting him and shedding darkness in his path when things were finally looking bright.
For lack of anything better to do, he stared after her as Glili's silhouette disappeared into the shadows before glancing down at the Twi'lek whose life he had taken. With morbid fascination, he observed the gaping hole in the man's chest, still simmering, still steaming... but at that moment, it seemed to Atton that the fatal wound was nothing compared to the hole that was left in his own heart.
