Disclaimer: Only the plot and any original characters belong to me!

"Will you stop pacing?" Ellie asked Lucifer as she watched him from a chair in the parlor. "You're gonna wear a hole in my new rug! Do you know how long it took my antiques guy to find that?"

"I'll stop pacing if you stop squeezing the arms of that chair you're sitting in," Lucifer spat when he saw how tightly she was holding on. "That wood is fragile. You're going break it! My father said we should stay close cause he has news for us and the rest of the family. And your aunt and Elijah will be in on this too."

"Well, that's not good at all," Ellie sighed, hugging her knees to her chest. "He wouldn't ask something like that if it weren't serious! I think I'm going to scream!"

Lucifer put a hand over her mouth. "Don't you dare! It won't help anything. It's probably nothing to worry about. We're just...entering a new phase. Stuff like that happens all the time."

"Like when the dinosaurs got extinct and mammals took over?" Ellie prompted.

"Will you forget about the dinosaurs?" Lucifer huffed impatiently. "This is nothing like the dinosaurs! No one is going to die. Get your mind off it. Sing a happy song." He then gritted his teeth as Ellie nodded, took a deep breath, and began singing "It's A Small World."

He let it go on for as long as he could stand before he whipped around to face her, his Devil face showing. "No, no," he growled. "Anything but that!"

Ellie then grinned. "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..." She kept singing this over and over, which was still annoying but because it was a different song, Lucifer didn't push her anymore. He went to get a drink instead.

While he was getting his drink, the doorbell rang.

"Dexter, will you get that?" He called. "Please? My hands are full!"

"Sure," Dexter called back. "No problem."

Lucifer spat bourbon on his shirt when Dexter appeared with Steve, Charlotte, Gwen, and Mikael on his heels. "Well," he said after a fit of coughing. "Well this is a surprise. I hope you have good news to tell Eleanor. She's nearly paralyzed with worry, poor dear. Do you know how much blood I'm gonna have to give her to calm her down?" He then paused. "Where are my manners? Can I get you anything? Mum, Dad? Aunt Gwen?"

Charlotte's eyes narrowed. "Don't call her that."

"Why not, it's what she is," Lucifer reminded her. "I know the truth and it's not like you can take it back."

"I'd like a drink," Steve told him, his eyes going toward the door. "The most you can give me of anything you've got. And it probably wouldn't hurt the rest of us to have a little something too."

"Yeah," Gwen nodded. "Something really bad is coming!"

But Lucifer didn't even have time to get out the alcohol again before a young man none of them had ever seen before strode into the mansion with Klaus Mikaelson on his heels.

"What's causing you to barge into my house on this fine day?" Lucifer questioned.

Charlotte pushed Mikael aside and headed toward the other man. "And who's your very handsome friend?"

"He says he's your son!" Klaus shouted at Lucifer.

"Oh, never mind then," Charlotte made a face and stepped away. "Are you sure? That doesn't look like Stevie."

"Why is everyone shouting?" Stevie questioned. "Does no one have manners anymore? Can't I have time to explain myself? I am who he says. You can ask my twin sister. Where's Amy? I want to tell her, too."

"Of course you do," Steve sighed deeply and rubbed his temples just as Amy came in, alerted by all the noise.

"What's with all the shouting? Is everything okay?" She asked, coincidentally coming into the room at the moment because the noise made her curious. Then she saw Klaus. "What are you doing here, Klaus? Is it because of a problem with one of our girls or something?"

"No," Lucifer told her. "We're actually still trying to get to the bottom of that. Do you two have an appointment to help him out with his problems, or at the very least, his lack of manners? It wouldn't hurt, and you know it's doing wonders for me."

"Oh, I don't know if I could do that," Amy said, giving Lucifer a small smile. "Even after years of marriage, I don't think I helped much. In some ways, I think he's beyond help."

"Hey!" Klaus huffed irritably. "I'm standing right here! Can't you see me?"

"Yes, and we wish we didn't have to," Mikael told him.

Not wanting Mikael and Klaus to start having a fight, Amy quickly cut it off. "Again, Klaus, what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to let you know that your boyfriend is harassing me!" Klaus cried.

"I did not!" Stevie eyed Amy and shook his head. "I swear!"

"I don't have a boyfriend," Amy insisted after giving the man Klaus indicated a good looking over. "And I've never seen this guy before in my life!"

Stevie, looking wounded, opened his mouth to protest, but then they were all distracted by the squeaky hinge on the door as Charlotte Junior walked through the room to get to the kitchen and steal some freshly baked cookies.

"Hello, everyone," she said. "Just slipping in here, don't mind me. Please keep fighting. Don't let me interrupt." She then paused and looked at her brother. "So have you told Amy yet?" She asked him.

"Told me what?" Amy asked "Charlotte, what's going on? I've never seen this man before!"

"Yes, you have, it's Stevie!" Charlotte Junior told her. "Remember, the guy who tells you all his stupid fantasies about Egypt?"

"I told you!" Klaus yelled, feeling vindicated. "That's exactly who I said he was, but no one would believe me!"

"Okay, now that all that's out in the open, I should probably go to the kitchen before all the cookies are gone. Goodbye!" Charlotte junior turned on her heel and tried to sneak out, but Steve stopped her, of course.

"I think the cookies will have to wait," he said and shut the French doors in her face so she didn't have a way out. "You and your brother have a lot of explaining to do because I know you haven't said a word to either of your parents about this."

"Oh, come on!" Charlotte Junior scoffed. "Why trouble them with that when all this more troublesome stuff is going on? Why add to the stress? Stevie and I didn't hurt anyone!"

"Young lady, what did you do?" Lucifer asked, his tone firm. "And you know I'll be able to tell if you're lying."

Charlotte Junior stood silent, and then Steve said, "Go on. Explain how you took part in the ludicrous idea to put your brother in a new body using magic." He pointed. "That body over there, as a matter of fact."

Amy blinked several times. "So...that's really Stevie over there? He's just in a new body?"

Stevie crossed the room in three strides, took her hand, winked, and kissed her palm, even nibbling on her fingers a little. "How do you like me now?" He asked.

Amy liked what she was feeling, but because she felt she still had to hide it, she blushed and pulled her hand away, then turned to Steve. "I can't believe this is all true!" She cried. "I mean, I know you wouldn't lie, but...this is so weird!"

"Yes," Steve told her firmly. "Charlotte Junior did a spell on Stevie that helped him switch his essence to the body of another."

"He did it so he could get in your pants more easily," Charlotte Junior told her. "Did it work?"

"Oh, shut up!" Stevie spat at his sister. Then he turned to Amy. "It's about more than that, I swear. Please believe me."

This show of emotion made Charlottes senior and junior roll their eyes at each other and excuse themselves to go off into a little side room to talk alone.

"I'm guessing you're not gonna yell at me like everyone else," Charlotte Junior said. "I mean, you don't look mad."

"Of course not!" Charlotte assured her. "You're having a little fun and so is your brother. So what? I don't know what's gotten into your father. I think your mother's having a bad influence on him. He's usually much better about stuff like this."

"Oh, I know," Charlotte Junior agreed. "But I guess he has to show that he can be responsible sometimes, especially when Mom is having one of her breakdowns, which she probably is. She doesn't handle stress very well."

"And would it make me a bad person to say that gives me a little pleasure?" Charlotte senior asked. "I mean, she was ordered to torture me. And I know she enjoyed it."

"Well, I can't blame you for how you feel, but I also feel bad for my mom, so I don't know," Charlotte junior shrugged.

They stayed there a little while longer and returned to the kitchen just in time to hear Klaus say about Mikael, "What is that scum doing here?"

That was followed shortly by Mikael's response of "Watch your mouth, boy, and the sickening crunch of Mikael's fist hitting Klaus' face.

"All right, stop!" Steve commanded and separated them. "Klaus, it's good you're here. You need to hear what I have to say too."

"And just what is that?" Ellie demanded, her voice ringing out. When they turned, they saw her, hands on hips and glaring at them all. "Were you just going to leave me out of what sounds like a very important conversation? How dare you!"

"Well, you weren't really in a condition to have a sensible conversation and we just didn't want to make it worse," Lucifer tried to calm her. "But we're glad you're here and you seem to have recovered your senses and stopped singing very annoying songs."

"It'll all be all right," Steve assured Ellie, taking her in a side hug and gently kissing her hair. "I promise."

Just then, Dexter and Valerie both entered the room, having been called there by Lucifer.

"Why am I here?" Dexter asked tiredly as Valerie glared at him. "I know you want Valerie and I to get back together, but will you people just let me do it on my own time? Or not at all? Why is it everyone's business?"

"Dad has an announcement to make," Lucifer told him. "That's all."

"You'll need to guard Valerie very soon," Steve told Dexter, which made both his and Valerie's jaws drop.

"You want me to what?" Dexter got out when he could speak. "I won't do it! She can guard herself!"

"It's good you say that," Valerie spat at him. "I don't need a watchdog or a babysitter! I'm an adult and I can make my own good choices!"

"Oh, yes, stealing a baby was a very good choice!" Dexter hissed. "I bet your parents are really proud!"

"Shut up, you asshole!" Valerie shouted and kicked him. "I didn't steal Oliver! He was given to me with his mother's permission! Juliette and I didn't know Josh was gonna take him away! We thought we were doing what was best for him! You need to get over this. If Josh has, why the hell can't you?"

"Okay, enough!" Ellie told them, putting her hands on them both in a tight grip. "This bickering stops right now. It's not helping. You yelled at each other, you broke up, it's all in the past. Can we please just act like adults now?"

Valerie and Dexter both grumbled resentful assurances just as Noah and Cassidy barged into the room looking worried.

"I...we think Willie left," Noah told his father.

"What do you mean you think Willie left?" Lucifer questioned.

"We mean he left," Cassidy added. "He flew the coop. He's gone, he's not here. We looked everywhere! We've...we've been fighting and...maybe it finally got to him."

Angie and Sammy entered, Angie holding tightly onto toddler Shane. "What's this about Willie?" Angie wanted to know. "I hope nothing bad happened to him!"

"He's. Gone!" Noah repeated and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know how many ways I can say it."

"Please calm down everyone," Steve said in a calm voice. "Willie is fine and safe and he will be home soon."

"Really?" Cassidy asked, collapsing against Noah in relief. "I'm so happy! I never would have forgiven myself if something bad happened to Willie! I love that kid!"

"Yeah," Noah whispered against her hair. "Me too."

"Would you listen to them?" Klaus asked Mikael. They were both distracted by the drama for a moment, enmity forgotten. "And I thought we Mikaelsons were dysfunctional."

Steve kept repeating that Willie would be home soon. Then Cassidy suddenly became suspicious. "Don't fool with me, old man!" She cried. "How can you be sure? You better not be messing with me!"

"Are you seriously asking me that question?" Steve wanted to know, dumbfounded. But before he could figure out what else to say, Vincent and Lauren came in.

"Looks like we missed a party," Vincent told his wife.

"Yeah," Lauren nodded, pushing a strand of red hair so like her daughter's out of her eyes. "And has anyone seen Lily-Eleanor? She's not in her room."

"You didn't miss anything and I'm sure she's fine," Ellie said. "No worries!"

As if to confirm Ellie's words, at that moment, Lily-Eleanor strode into the room with Willie in her arms. "Hi everyone," she got out sheepishly. "We're here! I hope all of you weren't too worried!"

"Willie!" Cassidy cried. She grabbed him and hugged him hard, repeatedly kissing his face. "How could you run off like that? You scared me half to death! Please don't ever do that again!"

"He's not hurt," Lily Eleanor assured Cassidy. "He's fine and in one piece."

"What happened?" Her father questioned her. "Where did you find him?"

"There was an explosion downtown," Lily-Eleanor got out. "By the...downtown, and..."

"Pops is dead!" Willie cried out in anguish and sobbed into Cassidy's shoulder. "He was a nice man and he's dead like Mommy and Daddy! And everyone else at our old home is dead too!"

"You knew about that, didn't you?" Lucifer questioned Steve in a muted voice.

"I did," Steve replied. "And you did too, from the look on your face. Didn't you, son?"

"I wish I could say you were wrong," Lucifer sighed. "I really do."

"We're so sorry, buddy," Noah told Willie and ruffled his hair before eying his grandfather. "Is that why we were brought here?"

"Now that you've had your happy reunion with Willie, I'll go to my room," Lily-Eleanor got out. "I have some reading to do for a class, and..."

"Stop right there, young lady," Steve ordered, making her freeze.

Lily-Eleanor turned and found herself looking directly into Steve's eyes. "W..what?" She asked nervously. He was her great-grandfather, but he was still God and had the power to do anything that would make a smart person very nervous. "Why are you looking at me like that? What did I do?"

"How long have you been in contact with him?" Steve asked.

"Him who?" Lily-Eleanor asked. "What are you talking about?" She tried to be nonchalant, but the deep blush that was nearly the shade of her hair betrayed her.

"Lily, what's he talking about?" Vincent questioned and took her hand in his. "Have you gotten yourself into something bad?"

"No!" Lily-Eleanor insisted to her father. "I don't know what he's talking about! He's making stuff up! He's delusional!"

"He could have really hurt you," Steve continued. "It could still happen and so far, you're lucky it hasn't."

"I barely know him so I don't think so," Lily-Eleanor insisted. "He is his name and he's done nothing but be helpful and he saved Willie! He rushed to save Willie and I don't think he wants to hurt any of us! We should give him a chance!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that," Steve told her, shaking his head. "If he's not human or supernatural, he's a threat. We can't be too careful. I have no idea what's going on which is new for me, and I don't want to take any chances with my family. Threats need to be dealt with."

"You know better than that, but I mean why should I be surprised when I'm talking to a man who flooded the Earth and killed practically everyone cause they were doing stuff He didn't like?" Lily-Eleanor scoffed. "He is good. He just needs time to prove it. Let him be the one you stick on the metaphorical ark this time. Please. Cause he's funny and sweet, and kind, and I think all he needs and wants is a place to belong. I didn't understand that before, but I do now. Please understand. Can't you just give him a chance?" She repeated desperately.

"We'll see," Steve sighed. "But for the moment, until I know more, I'll protect you and mine more than anything or anyone else. I won't make any apologies for that."

As they talked, everyone else had burst into discussion around them.

"Who is my father talking about?" Lucifer whispered to Ellie as he held her hand tight. "Do you know?"

"If you don't, I sure don't either," Ellie whispered back. "No idea."

Then Klaus' voice rang out: "If he's not a human, a hybrid, a vampire, or any other supernatural being, I wonder what he is? An android?" He chuckled at his own joke, but was met with stony silence from everyone else in the room. "Just trying to lighten the mood by making a joke," he told them. "Apparently no one has a sense of humor tonight. All right, good to know."

"Call Selina and Elijah Mikaelson now," Steve told Lucifer. "Please. And put them on speakerphone."

"Right," Lucifer nodded and dialed. "I'll do that. I just hope they're not too busy having sex to answer..."


"Would you like another soda?" Selina asked Sophia. Sophia had come to get some cookies that she'd ordered and, seeing that Scott was nowhere in sight, agreed when Elijah had asked her to stay, chat, and have a drink.

"Yes, please," Sophia nodded and handed her the empty can she held, her eyes then darting to the clock on the wall. It was getting dark. Would Scott be home soon? Should she make a run for it and skip her last soda?

"How long does Scott usually stay out?" She questioned. "He won't be home any time soon, right? Cause since he's not here, I'm truly enjoying myself, and the sight of him would ruin it for me. I like the two of you, though. I hope you understand that. And that you understand why I have issues with your son."

"Of course," Elijah said warmly, and then gave Selina a wink, which she returned. "I just got my new piano tuned. Do you sing?"

"Not well," Sophia admitted as Selina gave her another Coke. "But I do enjoy sing-alongs!"

"Great!" Elijah grinned. "And don't you worry about a thing! Scott's just going through a phase."

"Yeah," Selina agreed. "He'll get back to liking nice girls like yourself soon enough."

"What if he brings an unpredictable vampire friend home?" Sophia questioned. "And thanks for the assurance, but who Scott dates is none of my concern." She knew they could still see her blush, however.

"You're safe here," Selina assured her. "We can protect you from anything. Well, maybe not aliens. If there is such a thing. But we'd sure try."

"Thanks," Sophia told her. "I appreciate that."

But not long after, something worse than aliens appeared: Scott and his date for the evening. He cast one look around the room, kissed his date hard and then gave her a spank on the bottom as she giggled. "Oh, you're so naughty!" She said. "Bye!"

"Bye!" Scott waved as his date made her way to the door, clad in tiny jean shorts and a leather top that showed off her midriff.

Once the screen door had slammed shut, Scott heard the unmistakable sound of a soda can being crushed. He turned around and smiled at Sophia, who tried to give him her best smile, even though she was both uncomfortable and angry. "Hi, Soph!" He greeted her easily. "Want a beer?"

"No, beer is for teenagers such as yourself," Sophia replied. "I was just about to ask your mother to make me a gin and tonic."

"Sure will," Selina nodded without missing a beat. "Coming right up!"

"Geez, what's wrong with you?" Scott scoffed. "I was just asking a question. Do you have PMS or something?"

She growled and threw a pillow at him, but it missed him by a mile and knocked over a lamp as Scott chuckled. "Nice aim," he got out.

"Scott, please be more respectful of our guest," Elijah commanded softly.

"Yes, sir," Scott replied, his gaze downcast.

"Do you remember what time Lucifer said he would call about that thing?" Selina asked as she brought Sophia her drink. "I can't remember. I hope we didn't miss it."

"No, we didn't," Elijah looked at his watch. "I think it's just about now as a matter of fact."


"It's good we're calling Selina about this," Lucifer told Steve. "You already put her through enough, Dad. I won't have her be left in the dark when alien robots invade the earth."

"I was always going to call her," Steve assured him. "There was never any doubt about that." He took the phone from Lucifer after everything was all set up and they waited for Selina and Elijah to answer.

"We're not late, are we?" Sean asked. Sarah followed close behind. Though she was still mad at her parents, Ellie couldn't bring herself to leave them in the dark about the coming robot alien invasion.

"Just in time," Ellie told him. "Lucifer just called Elijah and Aunt Selina too. Have a seat and make yourself comfortable."

Once they were settled, Steve tried to get his message out, groaning in frustration when Ellie and her parents' next lines of conversation made talking on the phone impossible.

"I wish I could talk to Josh," she said. "I called three times but it's all gone to voicemail!"

"Probably because he's too busy having sex with your sister!" Junior yelled, his hands balling into fists. "He kidnapped her, you know."

"Good for him!" Ellie shouted back, ignoring the words her mother mouthed as she shook her head and waved her hands. "She probably wanted him to so she could get the hell away from you two!"

They all paused, fuming, then Elijah called out, "Hello, is someone there? Lucifer, is that you? What's going on?"

"Sorry, you're on speakerphone and we're having a bit of a family argument," Lucifer apologized, giving Ellie and her parents a glare. "But hopefully it's done now because there's something very important that we need to tell you and Selina. Listen very carefully. Are you ready?"

"Yes, we're ready!" Selina assured him. "Hi Sarah, Hi Junior! Hi everyone! Oh, this is all so intriguing, isn't it?"

"Hi, darling!" Klaus replied. "Lovely to hear your voice!"

"Klaus, what are you doing there?" Selina questioned.

"That's not important," Lucifer snapped. "Would you focus?" He scoffed. "It's like trying to get you to buy a half-decent car all over again."

"I don't know what you have against my Bug," Selina told him. "It's a great car! And you hate my Aston Martin too, even though you told me to buy it!"

"Yes, but I didn't say paint it pink!" Lucifer shouted. "You ruined it, is what you did! How could you? I should make a special spot in Hell for people who buy marvelous cars and paint them stupid colors!" He then looked at Ellie. "Can you arrange that, darling?"

"Now who's not focusing?" Ellie interrupted. "Steve, say what you're gonna say before Aunt Selina and your son get distracted again."

"Thank you, Eleanor," Steve smiled at her. "I forgot how short their attention spans are."

"Sorry!" Selina told him. "What's up?"

"Elijah, are you still there?" Steve asked. "I have some very important news and I wanted you to hear it from me directly."

"Of course," Elijah told him. "I'm listening."

Then came Sophia and Scott's voices. "What's going on?" Sophia asked. "Why do I feel like my life is never gonna be the same now that I heard this phone call?"

"Oh, don't dramatize it too much," Scott said. "My family is just theatrical. It doesn't necessarily mean anything!"

"What I want to say, Elijah," Steve said, "Is that something has happened that could cause life on earth, human, supernatural, everything, to cease to exist very soon if we don't do something. My granddaughter Lily-Eleanor can attest that artificial intelligence in the form of robots, most likely hostile, are openly wandering around now, and that they've killed already."

"I beg your pardon?" Elijah questioned. "What?"

"He means robots, Elijah," Klaus told his brother dryly. "There's an invasion of killer robots on Earth now." Then he realized what he was saying and turned to Steve, giving him a look. "Killer robots? Really? Like in a bad fifties horror movie?"

"Oh, yes," Steve nodded. "But unfortunately, it's all very real. They're very real killers."

"Don't say that," Lily Eleanor muttered, her eyes on her lap, her teeth gritted. "they're not all killers. They're not."

Meanwhile, on the other end of the line, Elijah and Selina were exchanging looks of disbelief before Elijah spoke again. "So what you're saying is that robots are invading planet Earth. Is that correct or has my hearing gone bad?"

"Your hearing is fine," Steve assured him. That is exactly what I'm saying."

As they listened, Sophia nudged Scott. "Who is your father talking to? Who's Steve?"

"Oh," Scott swallowed a bit of the apple he'd brought in from the basket in the stables. "It's...it's God. Steve is God."

Sophia whacked him on the shoulder. "How can you make up such a stupid thing, you asshole? Not that I'm particularly religious, but what if I had been? You shouldn't mock people's beliefs!"

"I'm not mocking anything!" Scott winced and rubbed his shoulder. "It's the honest truth!"

"And that's not all," Steve said into the phone, his voice rising. "Not only are they invading the Earth, but their first target is us, the supernatural world."

On Steve's end, they could hear silence and then a loud thump.

"What was that?" Lucifer asked. "Everything all right?"

"Yes," Elijah said. "It will be. Our...our human neighbor heard the phone call too and...she's fainted. That's what that thump was. But she'll be fine. It sounds like we all have bigger things to worry about anyway."