Disclaimer: Most characters in this belong to Marvel. That being said lets
get on with the fun
******
Okay check this out, Hank. I'm just hangin' out over at Harry, right. You know, watching the game having a bud that sort of thing and I'm basically relaxin' and chatting with the locals same ol same ol and what not. But then, that's when I see her.
Now I know what you're gonna say. 'Oh, she couldn't have been that smoking' or 'You get this way about every short skirt, Bobby.' This is completely different. I mean she really was 'that hot.'
Oh spare me the look, Hank. I'm serious here. Picture this; cute little cab driver hat cocked over her eyes so all you can see are those lushes red lips and high cheek bones a short skirt exposing her long legs and defined calves and thighs. Mmm... Just thinking about it. You shoulda been there, dude.
Alright so where was I. She came in and you could just tell she had crowd control. I mean every head in unison just locked on her and this is the best part, Hank. She just smiles, goes up to the counter and ordered a whiskey without giving any guy in the place a second look.
The audacity, nobody just ignores the Bobster. I had to show her who she was messing with. So ya know what I did Hank?
Well I'm gonna tell ya. I turned on the charm and once I got'em in radar there is nothing they can do.
Don't give that look, the Bobby charm always works. Well almost always, this was a special case. She must of had this anti-Bobby mutant power or something because she was tuff as nails.
So I go up to her right and play it cool ya know 'haven't seen you around here.' Not a question just a simple statement, I'm feelin' her out ya know. Trying ta see where she's at, that's when she says 'Who are you.' All rotten like. Like I should know not to talk to talk to her or something, ya know.
Well I'm not one to back down to a challenge 'Name's Bobby and you are?' I kept cool and grabbed a seat next to her and waited for her answer 'I am waiting for someone.' She said it like... duh-why-else-would-a-girl-like-me- be-doin'-in-a-craphole-like-this, that sort of voice. What's that called, Hank. Condescending, right.
So I ask her if she needed a ride anywhere and she's like 'no' not even a no thank you or a thanks but no, just N to the O. So I figure the Bobby charm wasn't the best way to go and I try the conventional method. 'Can I buy you a drink?' and she said 'You can pay for my whiskey.' Like I was going to anyway.
Now the gloves are off. She stopped being attractive five seconds ago and I was about to give her an earful. I said 'What's a little girl like you doing drinking whiskey.' In a real motherly voice trying to push her buttons but instead of getting angry she takes the bottle and chugs like half of it. I mean Wolverine would have had to tip his hat to her for that one. I was on the virge of respecting her and walking away when she said 'You can go now.'
Before I continue Hank. I just want you to know that nobody dismissed Bobby. Would have excepted a please leave me alone or even an I'm going to call the police but 'You can go now' who does she think she is. So I say 'I never got your name' politely and she says 'I didn't give it.'
That was the last straw. 'You got a real attitude problem, you know that.' I say grabbin her wrist as she went to push me away 'Why don't you take it up with my boyfriend.' She said and I'm like, 'Wha...'
So she points over my shoulder and I turn around and I'm literally face-to- face with this huge dudes belt buckle. He had of those belt buckles with the name on it and it read SKIP, pretty cute name for an ogre I thought as I took a step back so I could see his face. I don't know if I was hallucinating or what but he had to have been eight feet. Easy.
After standing there for a second he bends down and says 'You got a problem with my girl?' Like he wanted me to be scared of him or something. Bobby drake fears no man. So I said 'Look Skippy, I'm just tryin' to teach your little princess a little respect' I had to put them both in their place, ya know Hank. I'm not the bad guy here.
What happened next you say. That's the funny part, I don't really remember, it's kind of a blur. I remember him saying something like 'Don't call me Skippy.' And then waking up outside on the dirt with a headache.
Strange, yer telling me. And after all that I still didn't get her name.
******
Okay check this out, Hank. I'm just hangin' out over at Harry, right. You know, watching the game having a bud that sort of thing and I'm basically relaxin' and chatting with the locals same ol same ol and what not. But then, that's when I see her.
Now I know what you're gonna say. 'Oh, she couldn't have been that smoking' or 'You get this way about every short skirt, Bobby.' This is completely different. I mean she really was 'that hot.'
Oh spare me the look, Hank. I'm serious here. Picture this; cute little cab driver hat cocked over her eyes so all you can see are those lushes red lips and high cheek bones a short skirt exposing her long legs and defined calves and thighs. Mmm... Just thinking about it. You shoulda been there, dude.
Alright so where was I. She came in and you could just tell she had crowd control. I mean every head in unison just locked on her and this is the best part, Hank. She just smiles, goes up to the counter and ordered a whiskey without giving any guy in the place a second look.
The audacity, nobody just ignores the Bobster. I had to show her who she was messing with. So ya know what I did Hank?
Well I'm gonna tell ya. I turned on the charm and once I got'em in radar there is nothing they can do.
Don't give that look, the Bobby charm always works. Well almost always, this was a special case. She must of had this anti-Bobby mutant power or something because she was tuff as nails.
So I go up to her right and play it cool ya know 'haven't seen you around here.' Not a question just a simple statement, I'm feelin' her out ya know. Trying ta see where she's at, that's when she says 'Who are you.' All rotten like. Like I should know not to talk to talk to her or something, ya know.
Well I'm not one to back down to a challenge 'Name's Bobby and you are?' I kept cool and grabbed a seat next to her and waited for her answer 'I am waiting for someone.' She said it like... duh-why-else-would-a-girl-like-me- be-doin'-in-a-craphole-like-this, that sort of voice. What's that called, Hank. Condescending, right.
So I ask her if she needed a ride anywhere and she's like 'no' not even a no thank you or a thanks but no, just N to the O. So I figure the Bobby charm wasn't the best way to go and I try the conventional method. 'Can I buy you a drink?' and she said 'You can pay for my whiskey.' Like I was going to anyway.
Now the gloves are off. She stopped being attractive five seconds ago and I was about to give her an earful. I said 'What's a little girl like you doing drinking whiskey.' In a real motherly voice trying to push her buttons but instead of getting angry she takes the bottle and chugs like half of it. I mean Wolverine would have had to tip his hat to her for that one. I was on the virge of respecting her and walking away when she said 'You can go now.'
Before I continue Hank. I just want you to know that nobody dismissed Bobby. Would have excepted a please leave me alone or even an I'm going to call the police but 'You can go now' who does she think she is. So I say 'I never got your name' politely and she says 'I didn't give it.'
That was the last straw. 'You got a real attitude problem, you know that.' I say grabbin her wrist as she went to push me away 'Why don't you take it up with my boyfriend.' She said and I'm like, 'Wha...'
So she points over my shoulder and I turn around and I'm literally face-to- face with this huge dudes belt buckle. He had of those belt buckles with the name on it and it read SKIP, pretty cute name for an ogre I thought as I took a step back so I could see his face. I don't know if I was hallucinating or what but he had to have been eight feet. Easy.
After standing there for a second he bends down and says 'You got a problem with my girl?' Like he wanted me to be scared of him or something. Bobby drake fears no man. So I said 'Look Skippy, I'm just tryin' to teach your little princess a little respect' I had to put them both in their place, ya know Hank. I'm not the bad guy here.
What happened next you say. That's the funny part, I don't really remember, it's kind of a blur. I remember him saying something like 'Don't call me Skippy.' And then waking up outside on the dirt with a headache.
Strange, yer telling me. And after all that I still didn't get her name.
