AN: Hello, Naruto fans. The summary should raise a few questions, however hopefully those are answered with this prologue chapter. Mostly this story covers one alternate reality written by Jiraiya himself, primarily during the training-trip he took with Naruto, until his death. The story itself spans a bit more time than that, and lasts a good deal longer, but everything starts because of a strange coincidence, as most stories do.
"Oi, Ero-sennin!" Naruto barked at the Toad Sage, who was sprawled out against a tree, sleeping.
"Wake up, you old geezer, it's, like, two in the afteornon! No napping allowed!"
A series of nearly incoherent curses and flailing followed, along with a half-serious scuffle that was more than common between the two ninja. It ended within minutes with Jiraiya holding Naruto in a head-lock, and the younger ninja waving his arms and legs wildly, hoping that he might catch a piece of his mentor.
"Honestly, Naruto, why do you always have to ruin the best dreams? There was this lovely blond with just the right curves and she was-"
"God dammit ero-sennin! I don't want to know about your godforsaken sexcapades," the blond boy yelped back, squirming out of Jiraiya's grasp as the man was caught in a fit of false stammers.
"But-but," he trailed off, shaking his head slowly. "Honestly, Naruto, those dreams and my research are what make me money! And with plenty of money comes a nice easy life where I can write my books and nap, and don't have to worry about little pests like you."
The comment earned him a smack on the head, which in turn merited a soft 'oww' and a short fit of laughter.
"That's a load of crap, you old lech, we both know you're cheap as all Hell. Honestly, when was the last time you wrote a book that wasn't all about sex, anyway?"
This made Jiraiya think, which was certainly a dangerous pastime. Naruto took his silence as defeat, and walked away to finish the training Jiraiya had asked of him, but the Hermit thought back to a book that was by far the poorest-faring he'd ever written. It was his favorite, too, which was unfortunate, and gave the ungrateful little runt his name, which Jiraiya was proud to know. Naruto did have a point though- he hadn't written a serious work (at least not by normal human standards) in quite a few years. They didn't sell as well as his other endeavors, which was true of most things, but if Naruto wanted him to write, who was he to complain? Snickering to himself, he chose to at least do his pupil the courtesy of watching him train, occasionally tossing out tidbits of advice as he went.
As the thought festered in his mind, however, Jiraiya realized that he could hardly scrap together enough serious material for a few chapters, let alone a full volume, for a serious story that wasn't about himself or that involved ideas that Naruto would consider perverted beyond belief. Rarely at a loss for an idea, Jiraiya decided that, since he so kindly planted the seed in his mind, Naruto would be glad to give him a little push, whether he knew it or not.
Later, at dinner that night, Jiraiya took the time to chat with Naruto over easy subjects. Simple stuff, like jutsu, and training, and oftentimes women back in Konoha, but decided to infuse a simple question into the conversation. It wouldn't look too inconspicuous, as the Toad Sage did occasionally ask Naruto more serious questions, and a crowded restaurant seemed as good a place as any.
"Hey, Gaki," the Sannin said, with a glance at Naruto from behind the myriad ramen bowls.
"Whaddaya need?" Naruto asked, through a mouthful of noodles, barely looking up.
"Naruto, be honest with me here. If you could change one thing with your life, what would it be?"
Naruto narrowed his eyes at the sage, and put down his chopsticks in thought. He knew Jiraiya wanted an honest answer, and he wasn't going to outright lie, so he looked his sensei straight in the eyes and stated, "I wish I'd met you earlier. Like, when I was a kid and everyone bullied me. I woulda' liked to have you around to keep me company."
The sage was genuinely touched. Rarely in his life could he honestly say he felt wanted by someone so honestly without any ulterior motive. The kid didn't want him around for his power or his money, but rather the companionship and camaraderie that came with having a sensei. Of course, he couldn't let Naruto know that.
"That's it? Really? My dear boy, if you could rewrite your whole life, wouldn't you rather have hordes of women throwing themselves at your feet?"
Naruto growled from across the table and flung himself at Jiraiya, who was cackling even as the table cracked under Naruto's weight as he flung himself at the Toad Sage. Just another addition to the bill, Jiraiya decided.
The night passed on in much the same way their evenings usually did, and both retired after brief sparring after dinner. Even as his charge fell unconscious in his hotel bed, Jiraiya couldn't quite sleep. The night was drawing on in a crawl, and Jiraiya had settled down leaning against the balcony rail looking out into the town below. Naruto hadn't been bullied as a child. The term 'bully' usually applied to silly little scuffles and name-calling between children. He'd been beaten down. Abused. Nearly killed and brought back from the brink of death countless times by the demon that caused him all the trouble in the first place. The old geezer, Sarutobi, hadn't quite lived up to his promise, and Naruto had suffered because his parents, godfather, and the whole damn village just couldn't come to help him. The first two people on the list, Minato and Kushina, had damn good reasons, but he himself wasn't quite as easily excusable. Where had he been those first dozen or so years? Tales of debauchery, shenanigans, and months on end of drinking himself away came to mind, and that left a sour taste in his mouth. Almost never was he directly the cause of another human's suffering, even less frequently for extended periods of time. The fact that the kid wasn't a total monster when Jiraiya found him was a godsend in and of itself.
Exhaling heavily, Jiraiya took off his headband, and started to remove his coat and gi. His white hair hung low on his back and his shoulders sagged as he slunk to bed. In the morning, he decided. In the morning, he'd write Naruto a better life, for himself, Minato, and the boy himself. It would be a foray into the myriad possibilities that might've been, had he only been there. It would be Naruto's chronicles, with a story by Jiraiya the Gallant to boot! That would fly off the shelves! Jiraiya closed his eyes and was asleep in minutes, with ideas in his mind and a smile on his face.
AN: So any feedback is helpful, from style to story idea to suggestions to what-have-you. I'm trying to write this as a throwback to the Part 1 era fanfictions that didn't have the crazy powers floating around like a giant gorilla in the room. This chapter takes place early in the training trip, and future chapters will often have a short sequence in the real world either preceding or following the 'story' that Jiraiya will be writing to set the time and place. The 'story' is AU, and is intended to be written in Jiraiya's voice with his own style. Pairings are possible, but of course they're at the mercy of Jiraiya. I can promise no harems or intentional crack pairings however.
