Candy For Breakfast
"Jason! Jason, I be hungry!" I say, heading into the kitchen.
"You be hungry?" Jason mocks me.
I groan. "Make me food!"
"Well what do you want?" he asks, sounding really stressed out.
"Food!" I complain, plopping myself down at the table.
Jason tosses me an apple. I miss with epic fail and the fruit slams into the wall, leaving a trail of apple shit behind. "Ew," I say. "Now it's all nasty and gross."
Jason tosses me a banana. I throw it back. "No likey."
He then throws a grape fruit, which hits the window, causing the blinds to go psycho. I stare at it.
Then a bunch of grapes smack me in the side of the head. "Ow! Jason! Stop throwing fruit at me and make me some food!"
"Well what do you want!?" he asks. "I'm busy! I don't have time to whim to your every need! I have to get the Halloween decorations out and carve pumpkins with Frankie⦠I don't have time to eat, so make something yourself!" He grabs a two-kilo bag of candy and tosses it at me.
I hold it and stare at it. "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"
"Eat it!" he says, grabbing his car keys off the counter.
"But I don't want candy for breakfast!" I say.
"Happy Halloween!" he calls out, rushing out the door.
I stare at my giant bag of candy. Then I sit myself down on the couch and open up the bag, eating the little fun-sized candies.
You know what I don't get? Why the hell are the called "fun-sized?" Like what's so fun about less candy? If you ask me, those giant ones are the fun ones.
But I eat my mini candy anyway.
Then I get a tummy ache.
When Jason comes home around noon, I've eaten about half the bag, and I throw it on the ground. When Jason comes to where I am, he gasps.
"Shane! Why did you eat all the candy!? Now what am I gonna give the trick or treaters?"
I shrug. "That's not mine to be concerned with."
"This is exactly what happened last year! That's it, no more candy for breakfast on Halloween, mister!"
Fine. I'll eat it for lunch.
