Do you ever get that feeling, when something happens, that your life will never be the same after it? You pause for a second and, no matter your beliefs, feel as though fate or destiny is intervening. You know that this small thing, whatever it may be, will change your life forever. Like when you bump into a handsome stranger on the train and realise they're the love of your life? Or when you perform CPR on someone on the street and realise that medicine is your calling?
Yeah it's very romantic isn't it; unfortunately neither of those scenarios are what happened to me. Mine was about a 1000 times more shit.
Chapter 1- Sparks
It was a normal morning for me on the day that everything changed. I was on the train to work, half asleep, cheap takeaway coffee in my hand. I yawned loudly and rubbed sleep from my eyes. The doors of the train opened and a cute guy got on. He was dressed in a suit, one of those ugly shiny suits that accountants wear, and it was probably three sizes too small. That annoyed me. But he was cute nonetheless. As he got on, a skinny perfect girly girl 'accidentally' bumped into him.
"Oh I'm really sorry," she giggled nervously in a sickly sweet voice.
"No worries," he said, in his manliest tone. Urgh. I rolled my eyes. I had never been that girl, you know the one I mean, I'm sure you've all met her. The pretty girl who flutters her eyelashes and gets everything she wants. The worst thing about her is that you can't even hate her because she's possibly the sweetest most adorable Disney princess type of girl you've ever met. She's so sweet and kind that she'll steal any boy you've ever been interested in right out from under your undeserving nose. Yeah, she's lovely. Those girls rule the world and I have never been one of them. And believe me, I have tried. I could never get a boy to stay around for more than one night until a few years ago when I met Nathan.
Now don't get all panicked, I know you're expecting a superhero story and not a romance. So don't worry, this isn't going to be a romance about mine and Nathan's perfect relationship, because that wouldn't be the truth. Nathan is the sack of shit boyfriend I met as a student.
Two years earlier….
Music blasted through my ears, shaking the room around me. The lampshades above me shook, and trying to focus on them made me dizzy. The bottle of vodka I'd brought to the party was long gone, and the room spun around me. People were dancing and I stood watching them stupidly, the bass making my stomach vibrate.
"Oy Evie," shouted a voice from behind me. I turned around, a little too fast, and struggled to focus my eyes.
"You coming?" It was my friend Jonesy and he was pointing to the stairs. I followed him up the stairs and into the bathroom. Empty cups littered the floor and, as I entered the bathroom, a strong smell of sick washed over me.
"It stinks in 'ere," I announced. My friends, who had been waiting in the bathroom for me, nodded in agreement. I locked the bathroom door behind me as Jonesy pulled out a bag full of white powder. A knock came at the door and we all jumped.
"Chill," said Jonesy, "It's my mate Nathan."
Yep, so that's how we first met. Snorting cocaine together in some randomer's gross bathroom. I told you this wasn't a romance.
"What's your name?" he asked, rubbing his nose. He was hot. Really hot.
"Evie," I replied, trying not to seem drunk.
"You single?" he said, and I nodded in return. Half an hour later, I was lying next to him in someone's bed having just had very drunken and drug induced sex. After that, the same thing would happen at every party we went to. We would show up separately and leave separately, but get drunk, take drugs and have sex with each in the interim. Neither of us would have ever dreamt of sleeping with someone else, but we weren't together. This carried on for about a year before we decided that maybe we could hook up more regularly, and without the alcohol and drugs. And that's when Nathan moved in with me, and has been there with me ever since.
The only problem was that, I had stopped the crazy parties and the drugs, but Nathan hadn't. He sat at home all day, every day smoking pot and playing video games. He would go out every weekend, with money he didn't have, getting wasted and taking any drugs he could get his hands on. I had grown up, and he hadn't.
Present day…
Yeah, so my boyfriend's an arsehole. I knew that. I'd known that from the very first time I met him. But there was a moment a few weeks ago when he became less of an arsehole, and more like an actual bad person. But anyway, the trains arrived at my stop.
I walked for a few minutes before reaching the hospital. I smiled up at it. No matter how shit my life got, or how awful my boyfriend was to me, I would always have my work. And, oh god, did I love my work. Being a nurse was my calling in life. Most people sit in work and long for home, I sat at home and longed to go to work. I guess it sounds sad when I put it like that, but I truly love nursing. That day at work was much like any other, well as much as it could be, there isn't really such thing as a standard day in nursing.
"Is everything okay?" I asked softly, peering around the door into a patients room. I'd heard shouting from inside.
"No," said an exasperated man, the son of my patient Harry, "Please Evie." I looked over and saw that his father was in a great deal of distress.
"What's up Harry?" I asked, sitting down next to him on the bed.
"Oh Evie," said Harry, placing his wrinkled hand on mine, "Thank god you're here, this man is German spy." He pointed at his son.
"Don't worry Harry, the general is aware," I said, "Why don't you show me some of your pictures?" Harry smiled and took a small stack of black and white photos out of the bedside cabinet. He began talking me through them, explaining who the people were. He stopped when he came to a colour one, a recent one, which showed him and his son.
"Who's that?" I asked him, pointing at the picture.
"That's me and my son, David," he explained.
"And who's that?" I asked him, pointing at the real David, who was standing by the bed.
"Why, that's David, my son." He replied, a smiling spreading across his face.
"I'll let you two have some time to talk," I said, leaving them together and reconciled.
God, I loved my job. And I guess you could say I was happy, in a way. Well you know how before I sad that my boyfriend had become kind of a bad person. Yeah, I said that for a reason. A few months before this, my boyfriend came home from a night out as completely out of his mind as usual. Expect this time he did something he had never done before. He hit me. Hard. Really hard. Gave me a black eye actually. And I was so dumbfounded I couldn't even do anything to defend myself.
But it wouldn't happen again I told myself, and he told me the next morning. But it did. Again this time when he was drunk. And then it happened when he wasn't drunk. And then it happened almost every day. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt helpless. Powerless. And for someone who was always known as a fiery bitch, it was a feeling I was not accustomed to.
So I ignored it, I carried on every day as usual. I pretended like it didn't happen. Like I'd always done with his drugs and his alcohol, I made excuses. I loved him. And however misguided or ill founded that love was, it didn't make me love him any less. And I couldn't stop it either.
Until the day came when I could no longer ignore it. It was thrown into my face and there was no way I could pretend it hadn't happened. This was that day.
I left work, late as usual. Got on the train, there was no perfect girl flirting with a cute guy this time. I walked down my street, where everything was painfully normal. I got my key out of my bag to open my front door, when realised it had been ripped off its hinges. I frowned at it, confused. I paused on the front step, wondering whether to go in. it was probably just Nathan drunk the night before, I told myself. I tentatively pushed my way in and walked into the front room. A man I didn't know was stood there, four or five other guys flanking him. I panicked and turned to run when a huge guy grabbed me from behind and held me still. I tried to scream and he held his hand over my mouth.
"Now now Evelyn," said the man , who I assumed was the boss, "We won't be having any of that."
I struggled against the man holding me, biting down hard on the hand that was covering my mouth.
"Shit!" he exclaimed, snatching his hand away, "This bitch just drew blood,"
"Who the fuck are you?!" I screamed, fighting with all my strength to get away from the guy holding me but barely even resisting him.
"Ooh Evelyn, there's no need for that kind of language," the boss said calmly, "We are only here to do our job. See, your boyfriend owes us a great debt."
"What?" I breathed, confused.
"Oh yeah, he owes us a great deal of money," the boss continued, "Heroin doesn't grow on trees you know,"
"Heroin? I dont know anything about any heroin," I said. Shit. I knew that Nathan could get involved with some dodgy people but this was another level. I had to get out of there, by any means possible. "Honestly I don't know anything about this. I don't even do drugs. I didn't know he owed you any money please just let me go."
"You know what Evelyn, I think that's probably true." Said the boss, nodding. My heart skipped, please let this just be a scare tactic.
"And normally, I would just let you go. In fact, normally, you probably wouldn't have ever been involved in this little bit of unpleasant business."
I felt sick.
"But, unfortunately for you, your boyfriend hasn't decided to do things normally."
My heart sank. What had he done?
"He's a right piece of work isn't he, your boyfriend," continued the boss, "He owes us big. And he can't pay us back. Well not with money at least." He laughed, the other men joining in.
"We aren't animals you know, we have a system for this sort of thing. Now your boyfriend has reached the last resort in our system. A little ultimatum that we offer. We told your boyfriend that we could take out his debt from him, or from someone he loved. He chose someone that he loved."
"Look I haven't got any money, please just let me go," I pleaded, I was starting to cry now.
"Oh we are well past the point of money now, my dear," laughed the boss, "We are going to take the debt out of you."
I didn't even have time to scream before I was thrown to the ground. Heavy boots pummelled me, shattering through my bones, splitting my skin. They beat me and they beat me and they beat me. and I couldn't get away. The pain stopped after a while, not really, I just couldn't feel it properly anymore. They didn't stop. Not until my face was so battered I could barely see. I felt something cold, as though they were pouring water over me. But it felt thicker than water. And had a strange smell.
"Please, no," I whispered. It was all I could manage.
"Nathan sends his love," said the boss, leaning over me. He clicked the lighter in his hand and dropped the flame on to me.
The petrol I was covered in was set alight.
