Hello everyone! Look at that, something new. So i actually have a hella amount of chapters already done; I just need to edit! I'll post one every week or so! Depends how the length and timing of myself and my friend. (Who is a co-writer with this!)

The original is up on AO3 with information of the co-writer!

Heavy warnings for this chapter. Mentions of death, suicide and some implied smut. Please tread with care and seek help if you are struggling with any of the topics raised in this fanfiction.

We do not own BNHA, only our ideas and headcanons. (Though some have them have also been inspired too.)

"Hizashi," Shouta murmured, sleepily rubbing his eyes. "I know I said you could come and crash here if home was too far away -" they had come to an agreement a long time ago that if one had a night patrol, that they were welcome to crash at whoever's home was closest, "but if I had known you would disrupt not only my sleep but also my cat's, I wouldn't have let you come in." He was wearing his pajama's, and it was excruciatingly late for both of them, though Aizawa was notorious for late nights. He had a coffee in one hand, the other holding the door open.

Hizashi gave Shouta a tired smile. "I know that." Hizashi walked past Shouta and into the small apartment, heading towards his favourite couch, leaning against it, itching to sit. "But you let me in anyway." He grinned at the usually tired man in front of him. This patrol was particularly bothersome, and knowing Shouta was nearby, he took the opportunity to visit him; not only for the rest, but also for the company.

Shouta shrugged, slumping down onto the couch beside him. "Of course I did." His hair was tied up, eyes still tired from the night. He was due on patrol the next night - so it was likely that he would turn up at Hizashi's and take over his couch, probably in 'revenge'. "As long as I can still teach tomorrow I don't care," he grumbled, one of his cats, a ginger tabby, moving to sit on his lap as he did so. "How was your patrol? Better not have gotten hurt," he scolded tiredly.

The other man grew quiet, almost a complete opposite to his nature. A moment passed and he sighed. "Nothing to worry about. Just need some sleep... I have classes tomorrow too, you know." He forced a laugh, leaning back in the couch. "Let's catch up on that sleep then?" He reached over and scratched the back of the ginger tabby.

Aizawa wasn't having it. He had heard same phrases from his students for years - and he knew Hizashi well enough now that he could tell when something was up.

He turned, much to the disdain of his cat (though he just shifted into a more comfortable position), his hand nabbing his friend's chin and turning his head towards his. He leaned in close, dark, tired eyes boring into his. "Hizashi. You're hiding something." Was all he said, a light frown crossing his face.

Hizashi avoided the look of his friend, finding his shoulder more interesting. He grunted, frowning.

"And what makes you say that Shouta?" He forced a smile again. "I'm fine." He tried to pull away, the cat between them crying for attention. Hizashi moved so the cat could leave.

"Don't make me pry it out of you," he threatened lowly, moving his head so that Hizashi had to look at him. "You're not being yourself." Shouta wasn't going to let go until he got it out of him - he had an odd way of showing affection or concern, but he didn't have a choice. His friend was hiding something, and he needed to know what it was. He needed to know if Hizashi needed help - or if someone needed hurting. (In the name of justice, of course.)

Hizashi sighed, all energy leaving him he slumped against his friends shoulder. "Bad patrol," he whispered almost, again, finding his hands more interesting. "Nothing more. You don't have to worry, Shouta."

"You idiot." Shouta rested his head on top of Hizashi's looking out into the darkness. "I'll always worry about you." He sighed lightly, one hand rubbing circles into his friend's back, the other lazily petting his cat. "You don't have to pretend to be strong all the time. You're a hero, but you're human too." He stopped, a breathy chuckle escaping his lips. "I sound like a teacher."

"Of course you do, it's who you are - you are an amazing teacher." Hizashi gave Shouta a smile before dropping it. "But... That goes for you too." He whispered, leaning against his friend. "...God I wish I can hide away sometimes." Hizashi seemed different to when he was out, especially doing hero work. Less energetic and uplifting, drained even. Possibly it was a downside of his quirk, of which he was always so enthusiastic with.

"That's why you're here, no?" He asked, pulling his friend closer into him. "Don't put yourself down. You do most of the stuff I can't. You're much better at introducing the entrance exams than I, and you're far more interesting when it comes to commentary," he says. "You and I are different, but we have our strengths, Hizashi. I admire you for them." He sighs. "If you're not going to tell me what happened, that's fine. I'm sure I'll figure it out somehow."

Hizashi smiled to his friend. "Maybe. But also you have your many strengths where I struggle, so don't put yourself down too, okay?" He grinned, leaning into Shouta.

A silence passed, his grin dropping as Hizashi gained the courage to speak again. "I... Couldn't save someone," he whispered. "A girl, she - wanted to take her own life," he continued, clenching his fist. "She was almost the same age as our first years and I can't help but think, what if a student - one of our students, feels that way too - right under my nose? What I don't see it in time?"

"Oh, Hizashi..." Aizawa murmured, pulling him in closer. "I'm sorry." His heart sank for him - he could understand what he meant now. Hizashi was the biggest empath that Shouta knew; and so for him to have experienced that... "There was nothing you could've done. There's nothing any of us can do unless we know about it beforehand." He lifted up his hand to stroke through his hair. "Don't... Blame yourself. It's harder than it sounds but, Hizashi, we'll get through this together." He moved his head off of Hizashi's for a moment to look at him, seriousness settling into his eyes. "This is as hard on you as it is on anyone else, and if you need to take time off for it, that's okay too." He rubbed his cheek, pressing his forehead against Hizashi's. "None of us can predict these things. All we can do is try and become better people from it, and continue living on, for them."

Hizashi sighed, holding one of Shouta's hands he pulled away. Before leaning into his chest, hiding his face in the fabric, quietly crying as he hugged Shouta. "I cant help but think, what if I was there earlier?" He quietly sobbed. It took a while for him to settle again, and when he did, he pulled away slowly, wiping his face dry with the back of his hand.

"Thank you, Shouta." He looked up, plastering on a smile again, pressing his forehead to his friends. "And I couldn't do that... My students need me, and I haven't taken a day off in years. Everyone will ask questions" Hizashi couldn't help the small feeling of anxiety bubbling in his chest.

Shouta could feel his heart hurting for his friend - for the friend who had been around for decades, now. "I know, Hizashi, but there was nothing you could do. And that's okay." Once their foreheads were touching, he took his thumb and gently wiped his face of any tears that he might've had left - feeling guilt for seeing him cry. "Then let's take the day off together. I don't want you working in a state like this. It's not healthy for you. Principal Nezu will understand. The students... Well, it'll be a chance for them to realise that the teachers - the pro heroes - need time off sometimes, too."

"Maybe..." He whispered, closing his eyes tiredly. "Maybe you are right." He sighed. "Thank you, Shouta." Hizashi gave the man a small, grateful smile. He always knew his friend would support him, and he would always do the same. He lent forward, as if to kiss the man, but he stopped as Aizawa spoke.

"That's what I'm here for," he murmured.

In their twenty years of friendship, Hizashi and Shouta had kissed twice. Once in their third year - an experimental thing, that left the two boys more confused than understanding. And the second time was five years ago; at a party - sloppy, drunken kisses exchanged where Hizashi was too drunk to remember anything the next morning. (It was only kissing, though. Aizawa wouldn't let Hizashi go any further, lest he regretted it in the morning.)

So when Hizashi leaned forward, as though to kiss him, Shouta felt his heart jump. He had feelings for the man, yes, but whether or not he'd actually say anything was another story. He'd gone twenty years. He could go another ten before going mad.

But this time, Shouta leaned in too - stopping only when the tips of their noses; as well as their foreheads were touching - moving no further. He was letting him know it was reciprocated; should he want it. Should he feel the same. But he knew Hizashi was in a bad place - and Shouta didn't want to take advantage of that. He was a rational man after all - but he'd give him the choice. He would always give him the choice.

Hizashi felt Shouta stop, his breath hitched. What if the man didn't want to kiss him? What if he felt that he was being used just to cheer Hizashi up..?

Well.

That was wrong.

He felt so flustered. Pushing against the others forehead, he pressed his lips to Shouta's. Hizashi felt the bubbling feeling worsen in his chest, almost jumping for joy - realizing that it wasn't anxiety, but something else entirely. He didn't press too much, waiting if the other allowed to kiss to continue.

Shouta's heart soared - he had wanted this for so long. For too long. His hands almost automatically reached up towards the man's chest, pulling him closer as he pressed his lips back, kissing him softly - and then with an urgency he didn't know he possessed. One of his hands moved from the other's chest so that he could put his hand on his face, keeping Hizashi's face close to his. He was exhausted, yes; but Hizashi's lips made him more awake than he had felt in days. Aizawa's eyes fluttered closed as he kissed the man, fist bunched up in the fabric of the other's clothes, stubbly chin rubbing against the other's as they kissed. "Hizashi..." He whispered longingly against his lips as they kissed.

Hizashi felt on top of the world, his own heart skipped a beat when Shouta kissed him back, all the paranoia and fears he had vanishing as he melted into the kiss. He barely felt Shouta move his hand to Hizashi's face, his own hands moving, one somehow resting on the others thigh, suddenly pulling him into his lap, the other trailing up, going through the others hair, holding it there. He mumbled, "...Shouta," As his own eyes closed, though he was too far up on cloud nine to realise himself.

Both of Aizawa's hands fell onto Hizashi's face now, sitting in his lap and kissing him passionately -his hands gently tilting his head up so that he could press his body against his. Once he was satisfied though, Shouta moved one of his hands, moving it on top of the hand that Hizashi had on his thigh, gently easing their hands up along his leg. He couldn't help but moan softly as he felt Hizashi's hand in his hair, only kissing him harder in response, savouring the taste of the other in his mouth.