A history that threatens to repeat itself.
Written for the word prompt "déjà vu" over at the KHR Fic Meme, featuring a concept kinda borrowed from the Altor doujinshi game. The title is taken from the 31 Days theme for November 8, 2008. Special thanks to Nikki for doing the REAL archiving for all of us~
Rokudo Mukuro has to constantly remind himself that this weak, scrawny thing is not the boy of his memories, obscured by the fog of centuries and drowned in the blood and tears of thousands, including his own. Giotto was his servant-master, his only, the one person he ever allowed himself to love. He told himself, after having that boy (for Giotto was always a boy to him, back then in as much as the present) die on his watch, that there will be no other. After his ninth reincarnation (after which he also stopped counting), he believed that he had tasted and seen all the brutal/beautiful colors of the world throughout time, and, indeed, there really would be no other. No one else to call him by name, in that exact tone. No other that he would allow himself to serve, to want.
But the skin is like parchment; the muscles, like springs. The body is dumb, falling constantly into rhythms and repetition to comfort itself, and the soul resonants from just one touch from the similar, the familiar. Mukuro's mind, then, is left to rail at how his fingers, unconsciously seek out the braille of Giotto on Sawada Tsuyanoshi, how his lips already knew how the boy tasted, even before they kissed. He looks into Tsuna's eyes and he sees tragedy, broken promises he never made, a death Tsuna did not have. He see his downfall, but his past and present continue to layer hatred with longing until he cannot distinguish the need to break Tsuna across his knee from his old and oft-denied desire for forgiveness and redemption.
Never again, Mukuro tells himself, at every waking moment and in every nightmare/dream. Yet he continues to search for Giotto in the turn of Tsuna's head, in autumn-colored eyes and the curves of a naked body and small, tentative smiles.
